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Original poster

I bought my council house...I feel horribly guilty and anxious

307 replies

RodMunch · 09/12/2016 10:49

I got it for less than half market value, we had a small deposit too so as a result our mortgage is miniscule. DH earns well and because of this, I don't really need to work. I have 3 dc, 2 at school and the littlest is 3. I do some voluntary work but mostly just stay at home with him.

We have had the house a year in January. I feel incredibly guilty seeing my friends suffer juggling jobs and childcare and stuff and paying loads out in rent / mortgage. The only reason we could TTC for dc3 was due to being in a council property so the rent was ok. It sucks and its unfair ...I don't deserve what I have...I got the house originally by the skin of my teeth 8 years ago as a single mum, no one gets houses now and I have taken another one away. and I am part of the unfairness and I don't like myself much for it :(

It sounds mad...I can't believe my luck but feel I don't deserve it. DH and I are happy and the DC want for nothing but I honestly feel like something is going to go horribly wrong for us as a sort of karma. Blush

I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country.

OP posts:
Original poster
RodMunch · 09/12/2016 11:11

APairOf

I moved in 8 years ago, the sale completed in January so it has been ours since then. Well, the bank's. There just is no excuse, we could have bought privately, just about. But I like this house and I am not going to lie, the low mortgage was the main reason and that make me feel bad.

I am on tablets for anxiety anyway, although that happened before I even thought about buying the house.

I just feel I don't deserve it. Not sure why I posted on here, perhaps I should have posted in mental health. Can threads be moved does anyone know? Or can re post in there.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 09/12/2016 11:13

The system is what's screwing people. Right to buy is taking away properties that people desperately need and they're not being replaced

But you just did what's best for your family, as anyone would do, you did nothing wrong.

Grumpyoldblonde · 09/12/2016 11:14

Don't feel guilty. I disagree with the sale of council houses, but if I had the chance - hell yes.
The way life is now you have to take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 11:14

You aren't the problem, OP. It's the UHNW folks who avoid taxes like mad and are given tax havens here in the U.K. who are the problem. Jesus I just wish people could see the reality of what the "banking crisis" subsidies- the level of wealth - it really is socialism for the rich and capitalism for the 'poor'

Don't feel a shred of guilt or anxiety, at least you have a fucking conscience unlike many who are on my doorstep and will gladly steal from the less well off to pad their extremely lavish lives.

Congratulations on your home.

ArmySal · 09/12/2016 11:14

Don't beat yourself up over it, a lot of people would take the opportunity if presented with it, I'm sure.

Soubriquet · 09/12/2016 11:15

What is it you're wanting us to say exactly?

That it's ok?

Well I won't be saying it. They should never have allowed right to buy to happen.

They are houses for people who desperately need them, and you've just deprived another family from getting their own home

Original poster
RodMunch · 09/12/2016 11:15

Alemonypea We had made significant improvements to the house and our local council take that in to account. So at valuation, they took another £12k off as that's what they worked it out as. DH is in the building trade though so did not actually cost us £12k.

OP posts:
thecraftyfox · 09/12/2016 11:15

Wings I think she means they've owned it a year. Not lived there a year

alotlikeChristmas16 · 09/12/2016 11:16

You didn't sign the policy into law and you aren't personally responsible for its effects. My sister has the same equity as us because of right to buy, I don't begrudge her, she's never had any money in her entire life and never would have without this. There are very, very few people in this life who would turn down the opportunity to make their family life easier and secure. Frankly I find those that would odd for not prioritizing their own families.

ALemonyPea · 09/12/2016 11:16

Ok, thanks for clarifying that.

It's done now, nothing you can do, short of selling it back to the council, but then where would you live?

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 09/12/2016 11:18

I just feel I don't deserve it.

You made use of a scheme that is legally available to you. I came into an inheritance that allowed me to buy my home with a v small mortgage. I didn't "deserve" that either, but I took it and don't mentally torture myself about it.

Do you think a footballer on £250k p/w sits about the house angsting over his undeserved good luck?

I like the idea about paying it foward though, whether through a food bank or some other venture. Smile

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 11:18

You haven't stolen anything OP. FFS.

ask for your thread to be removed from AIBU ...

TinselTwins · 09/12/2016 11:18

You didn't make the system, you're just doing what you gotta do to live your life within it!

I have older relatives who did RTB, they were strongly against RTB however there was no point in being the only one on their street who didn't buy was there? that wouldn't have saved our housing stock.

Original poster
RodMunch · 09/12/2016 11:19

No I do not expect any one to say its ok, because it isn't.

I think I just wanted to write it down, as weird as that sounds.

I know some of my friends completely disapprove as well...I actually lost a friend because she was so disgusted with me and told me so. Although certain members of my family (Hi mum and dad) who think buying a home is the absolute pinnacle of life's achievements are very proud of me. But I am not proud of myself.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 09/12/2016 11:19

"There are very, very few people in this life who would turn down the opportunity to make their family life easier and secure. Frankly I find those that would odd for not prioritizing their own families."

There are actually plenty of people in this life who think that a secure, affordable tenancy on a family-sized house is enough of a blessing.

Depends where you are in the country obv.

WorraLiberty · 09/12/2016 11:19

This must be the 3rd thread in as many months on this subject?

I don't understand what people want from them?

Validation? To rub it into those who will never own their own homes?

Or something else? I'm genuinely confused.

WritersBlockk · 09/12/2016 11:19

Well you've done what's benefitted you but I don't think you can go around saying you "identify as" let wing anymore OP! It's fine, but yes you have benefited from a Tory policy when you know it disadvantages the weakest. Then again most people are closet Tories I find as they always do what's best for them not for the greater good. You're going to have to get over it, you chose it after all!

formerbabe · 09/12/2016 11:20

It's the UHNW folks who avoid taxes like mad and are given tax havens here in the U.K. who are the problem. Jesus I just wish people could see the reality of what the "banking crisis" subsidies- the level of wealth - it really is socialism for the rich and capitalism for the 'poor

People are greedy. It's human nature. From the bankers to the poorest of people. I knew a couple of pensioners whose kids had grown up and left home living in a 3 bed council flat. Would they give it up so a young family could move in? Like fuck they would. People look after themselves, whatever socio economic group they come from.

Shinyshoes2 · 09/12/2016 11:21

We've literally just bought our council house
I don't feel guilty
I got 110k discount too

alotlikeChristmas16 · 09/12/2016 11:21

yes move to MH - Op, none of us gets what we deserve. We take advantage of what we have to take advantage of. Some of us are born beautiful, some smart, etc. etc. You clearly are anxious, most people (and I know quite a few who've got the same right to buy deal) wouldn't think twice about it. Howabout getting out and doing some volunteering once your youngest is getting the free hours if that helps 'give something back'? i don't think you need to though. Or you could do a bit of babysitting for the friends you feel are hard-pressed so they can have a night out, something like that?

WhatsGoingOnEh · 09/12/2016 11:21

The system really is awful. Having a house as a single mum is fair enough. But then going on to marry a high-earner and STILL being allowed to live in a council house feels wrong, let alone then being allowed to buy it and remove it from the whole council system (and from other single mums who would have needed it).

:( I'd feel bad too.

caroldecker · 09/12/2016 11:22

OP either you can live with yourself or not. You are, however, a hypocrite. It is your attitude that has made right to buy a success, not an evil Tory government. If everyone who believed in council housing had not purchased, then there would be much more council housing available to those that need it. I do pity your anxiety, but you bought it upon yourself.

ArmySal · 09/12/2016 11:23

Coming on and bragging is a bit different though, Shiny.

Angry
idontlikealdi · 09/12/2016 11:23

I don't know what you want from this op but either way I don't think it's going to validate your choice or help your anxiety.

bibliomania · 09/12/2016 11:23

I'm not sure my moral principles are so firm that I would have abstained from buying.

Do something good with your angst - set up a small monthly donation to Shelter or some other charity of your choice. And then let go of it - guilt is useful if it makes you do something positive, but a waste of time if stays as a feeling rather than an action.