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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so angry with DS's school right now ?

265 replies

TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 17:06

Having a crappy week (see thread about friend letting me down) and it just keeps getting worse

DS's school are planning a residential trip to Shropshire next October for his year group.
DS very excited about trip so we complete the paperwork and pay the deposit as requested by the deadline. Paperwork went back about 2 weeks before deadline but due to a glitch with schools parent pay system we didn't pay deposit until the last day of the deadline.

Fast forward to today after being told that he was on the trip I receive a phone call from school telling me that they had messed up and had got the boy/girl ratio wrong and had one boy too many on the trip. Therefore DS will now be unable to go.

I was told that if he was a girl he could still have gone but they chose him not to go because We were last to pay.

Now they have known how many girls and boys are in that year group since reception.

If this was purely first come first serve I would understand but this clearly seems to be about his gender - he can't go because he's a boy.

Head teacher has basically said tough and DS is gutted

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 08:55

I have just been into school and given them a list of polices that I want by end of today and also requested a meeting with the HT on Monday.

I

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 09:13

I have also been told by one mum today that she didn't pay her child's deposit until yesterday!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/12/2016 09:13

Which policies do you think they are in breech of?

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 09:15

I'm not sure yet hat why I've asked for copies so I can read them and decide from there
I particularly want to see their inclusion policy

OP posts:
FrayedHem · 09/12/2016 09:19

Have you asked them to put their decision (as it stands) in writing? I'm not sure policies are going to help that much here, apart from the complaints policy.

Does the late paying parent have a girl or boy?

BertrandRussell · 09/12/2016 09:24

I'm pretty sure they aren't in breach of any standard policies.

Have you considered ringing the centre yourself?

FrayedHem · 09/12/2016 09:27

In fact I would try and avoid getting into the legalities of school policies.

Stick to the facts
The letter says nothing about first come first served.
They've confirmed there is space for another child to go if that child was a girl.
They've admitted to messing up the ratios.
You had paid deposit by the deadline.
There is plenty of time for the school to make arrangements as the trip isn't until October 2017.

Then if the school response is unsatisfactory, escalate to the Governors.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 09:27

When I meet with the HT I will take notes and ask her to put any decision on writing then.

Would the centre give me any information ?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 09:27

Thank you frayd

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 09/12/2016 09:27

Please contact your LEA today and ask for their opinion. You don't have to raise it as a complaint, but it may give you some ideas for the meeting on Monday.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2016 09:27

I agree with asking for a written confirmation of their decision. Additionally, I was ask for the following to be put in writing:-

  1. How many children are attending the trip and how many are not?
  2. How were any children not included selected for non-inclusion?
  3. Why was the trip not stated to be first come first served?
  4. Why are there insufficient places to include all children?
  5. Does the underprovision of places affect boys and girls equally or has one sex been disadvantaged?
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 09:33

Thank you all I really appreciate your advice Smile
The child of the late paying parent is a girl

OP posts:
mysistersimone · 09/12/2016 09:40

Im stunned the school didnt plan for all the year going! I think you should stand firm and your son be included.

BertrandRussell · 09/12/2016 09:56

The centre will tell you what it's maximum capacity is and how they divide up sleeping arrangements. They might also tell you if they have contingency plans if someone makes a mistake with numbers.

Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 09:58

The Inclusion policy will have nothing useful in it wrt to this issue. It will be about how the school makes provision for groups of students - SEND, pupil premium, ethnic minorities, young carers, cared for children etc. The concept has nothing to do with 'including' everyone in everything. Please do correct me if I am wrong when you get it!

TheEmmaDilemma · 09/12/2016 10:19

This is disgusting, they have royally fucked up and I hope they sort it out.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 10:28

I'll contact the centre today.

Ah I think I've mis understood inclusion then but it will come in useful for DS2 who has SEN

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/12/2016 10:33

Can you just go into school and talk about it?

See if the Head's free after school?

You're still not exactly sure what's happened or if they are trying to put things right. You really need all that information before you decide what to do next. And it would be better if you weren't fretting about it over the weekend. Your ds's class teacher must be aware of it too.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 10:34

Great news - just had a phone call from school to say that they have spoken to the centre and juggled the teachers accommodation so DS1 will be going on his trip -
So happy for him Smile

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 09/12/2016 10:37

Hurrah! So it can't have been that hard then - well done, OP. Wine

FrayedHem · 09/12/2016 10:39

Yay! Have they told DS - would be a shame for him to sit there thinking he's the only one not going.

Scarydinosaurs · 09/12/2016 10:40

I've read the whole thread and quite shocked no one has pointed out that they aren't allowed to do 'first come first serve' as it is discrimination against families from a lower income who don't have access to funds as easily as families from higher incomes.

All schools I've worked at haven't been allowed to do this (three different schools- eleven years).

Go to governors- they're the ones who have to give trips the go ahead.

Scarydinosaurs · 09/12/2016 10:41

Oh thank goodness for that! Woohoo!

BertrandRussell · 09/12/2016 10:55

"I've read the whole thread and quite shocked no one has pointed out that they aren't allowed to do 'first come first serve' as it is discrimination against families from a lower income who don't have access to funds as easily as families from higher incomes"

Our primary used to do "first to get the form in first served" which used to piss off the "power mums" with nannies doing pick up or who only chose the school because of the breakfast and after school clubs.........Grin

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 09/12/2016 10:56

I can breath again now Smile

... but fair play to the school for recognising the error and sorting it out. This is the first issue I've had with them in 11 years and hopefully it's the last

OP posts:
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