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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so angry with DS's school right now ?

265 replies

TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 17:06

Having a crappy week (see thread about friend letting me down) and it just keeps getting worse

DS's school are planning a residential trip to Shropshire next October for his year group.
DS very excited about trip so we complete the paperwork and pay the deposit as requested by the deadline. Paperwork went back about 2 weeks before deadline but due to a glitch with schools parent pay system we didn't pay deposit until the last day of the deadline.

Fast forward to today after being told that he was on the trip I receive a phone call from school telling me that they had messed up and had got the boy/girl ratio wrong and had one boy too many on the trip. Therefore DS will now be unable to go.

I was told that if he was a girl he could still have gone but they chose him not to go because We were last to pay.

Now they have known how many girls and boys are in that year group since reception.

If this was purely first come first serve I would understand but this clearly seems to be about his gender - he can't go because he's a boy.

Head teacher has basically said tough and DS is gutted

OP posts:
trafficcarrots · 08/12/2016 20:11

It's a bit shitty but it is what it is. You paid last, that's how it goes. If DD wants to do any activities we make sure we are first or as near to first in the queue for this reason. If you made sure you paid at earliest possible opportunity and were refused you would be pissed off quite rightly.

The adults are allowed to supervise x amount of kids by law, and boys and girls are split by dorms, if you are that bothered why not pay for the extra adult (maybe you?) to go with?

Gileswithachainsaw · 08/12/2016 20:14

It's a bit shitty but it is what it is. You paid last, that's how it goes. If DD wants to do any activities we make sure we are first or as near to first in the queue for this reason. If you made sure you paid at earliest possible opportunity and were refused you would be pissed off quite rightly

That's what a deadline is fir.

Anyone who tries to pay after isn't eligible.

Anyone up til that point has paid when asked..

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 20:15

The OP would have paid earlier if the school's payment system wasn't broken.

Lelloteddy · 08/12/2016 20:33

I think you all need to calm the fuck down. Seriously. Call the school tomorrow, go in reasonably and have a conversation with the head. This may have been an admin cock up, it may have been an organisational error. Get the FACTS before you start banging on about formal complaints. They may be able to rectify it straight away.

Go have a relaxing bath and a glass of wine OP.

BusyBeez99 · 08/12/2016 20:33

So 59 kids are going and 1 isn't?

ToadsforJustice · 08/12/2016 20:34

It doesn't matter if you paid first or last. If you paid within the deadline, it's not unreasonable to expect a place on the trip.

thatdearoctopus · 08/12/2016 20:38

if you are that bothered why not pay for the extra adult (maybe you?) to go with?

Whaaattt? You're seriously suggesting that the OP has to pay for an extra adult because the school fucked up????? Shock

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 20:39

How does an extra adult solve the problem? Surely that takes up yet another bed, without providing the child with a bed in a male dorm.

thatdearoctopus · 08/12/2016 20:39

Call the school tomorrow, go in reasonably and have a conversation with the head.

I thought they already had? Her dh spoke to the Head, who said tough luck. Same conversation where dh said he'd be taking ds out on a holiday that week, authorised or not.

trafficcarrots · 08/12/2016 20:40

Schools arent benefit fund payments, people moan about benefit raising activities throughout the year, giving maybe a giftset and expecting alot more back. I get very pee'd off I'm one of the few parents that bother donating to my kids school and nursery a significant amount of donations, it benefits them ultimately with new toys and learning aids. When it comes to trips, I would be very pissed off if the parents that did fuck all to help raise funds had any sort of priority. Not judging op, but think there is more to it than handing in a form.

thatdearoctopus · 08/12/2016 20:42

Wtf are you on about carrots? Are you reading the same thread as the rest of us?

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 20:44

Carrots

Good night on the spice?

This has nothing to do with being involved with the school - if the child was a girl, the child would have a bed. Because of the school's utter incompetence they have screwed up the number of beds for the boys.

It would be another boy if it wasn't the OP's son.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 20:46

I still think ringing the centre before talking to the school is a good idea.

I''m assuming carrots is posting on the strong thread by mistake.

QwertyKeyboard · 08/12/2016 20:59

Shocking disorganization! Your poor ds.

trafficcarrots · 08/12/2016 21:01

Amount of adults per chlld by law Hoops.

Alot of school trips are by sex dorm. It's not a case of 'who got in first' what are you two years old? The law is the law. X amount of kids per carer.

Hoops, you drug spiraller you.. yes, if the child was a girl, yes. Why?! The law! X amount of adults can look after x amount of kids, but... overnight girls and boys cant share... so.. when you start to belittle parents that volunteer selflessly your kid get nothing. It is what it is, and many try to volunteer to help. It pisses me off parents get shit off other parents in comparison who do nothing and complain.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 21:05

Carrots- you really are talking bollocks!

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 21:05

Carrots
It's not a carer vs child number issue. It's a bed number issue in the boys dorms.

There are enough adults there to cater for the number of children, there are not enough beds. Very poor planning on the school's part. In fact, totally inadequate planning, and it has nothing to do with the parent. It's all down to a school cock up. Not even sure why you'd come in here blaming the parent TBH.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 08/12/2016 21:05

Carrots RTFT

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 21:06

Mind you I agree with you about people who don't volunteer when they can- but that is nothing to do with this thread.

Topseyt · 08/12/2016 21:12

Traffic, you are talking utter bollocks.

The paperwork went in a couple of weeks previously. The deposit was then paid before the deadline. It has fuck all to do with any other donations the parent does or doesn't make to the school and you shouldn't judge people on that anyway. Not all of us can afford much in the way of additional donations. We couldn't. We concentrated what we had on our own children and spread the cost of expensive trips. By your definition we should not have had spaces on those.

Bollocks.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 21:13

Do schools actually ask for donations? From parents? At non-fee paying schools?

ALittleMop · 08/12/2016 21:30

"When it comes to trips, I would be very pissed off if the parents that did fuck all to help raise funds had any sort of priority."

WTAF?

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 21:33

Bloody hell what happened in my absence !

OP posts:
Lelloteddy · 08/12/2016 21:34

Thatdear it's absolutely not clear why or how this situation arose. And that's what needs clarification before formal complaints, Judge Rinder and the daily wail get involved Xmas Wink

Topseyt · 08/12/2016 21:34

Hoops, yes. Some do.

My DD1went to as state grammar school that did. They would send home a letter asking for money and on more than one occasion also enclosed standing order and covenant forms!! I found that quite a cheek actually, and it made me less inclined to be charitable towards them.

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