To be so angry with DS's school right now ?

[TheLaundryLady]

Having a crappy week (see thread about friend letting me down) and it just keeps getting worse

DS's school are planning a residential trip to Shropshire next October for his year group.
DS very excited about trip so we complete the paperwork and pay the deposit as requested by the deadline. Paperwork went back about 2 weeks before deadline but due to a glitch with schools parent pay system we didn't pay deposit until the last day of the deadline.

Fast forward to today after being told that he was on the trip I receive a phone call from school telling me that they had messed up and had got the boy/girl ratio wrong and had one boy too many on the trip. Therefore DS will now be unable to go.

I was told that if he was a girl he could still have gone but they chose him not to go because We were last to pay.

Now they have known how many girls and boys are in that year group since reception.

If this was purely first come first serve I would understand but this clearly seems to be about his gender - he can't go because he's a boy.

Head teacher has basically said tough and DS is gutted

Bertrand, OP seems very clear that excluding one single child is precisely what they ARE doing.

Everyone or no-one should be the rule of they can't do better than that. It is their fuck up as far as anyone can see, so they should cancel the trip and refund the deposits at their own expense rather than behave this way to a single child.

It is a big year group and he is the only child not going due to the ratio of girls/boys and the sleeping arrangements - I don't see what's confusing about that?

OP, it isn't confusing.

So there is the space for the total number of children, but there are too many boys for the sleeping ratios. That seems like poor planning and I would be annoyed too.

Yes he space is there but he's the wrong gender and has been picked as the one not to go because I was the last parent to pay - but before the deadline

The space not he space .. typing whist angry gives me appalling spelling and grammar lol

Perhaps they could investigate whether a room for staff could be used for your DS without altering the number of staff on the trip? It is normal for staff to share on a school residential but it's not always the case so they may have booked one room per staff member.

Thank you Trifle I'll ask

Oh, I'm sorry- I read a post saying there were 20 places for girls and 20 for boys and thought it was from you. But it was just somebody using those numbers as an example.

Thank you top

OP, they have royally fucked up and are trying to wriggle out of it.

Don't let this go.

I'm not doubting your son, but I do wonder if the children are saying they are all going when maybe some actually aren't. I'm not sure you can force the school to disclose if he will be the only one left behind. It's a bloody awful situation and, like you, I would take it further. Especially if the letter didn't state places were limited and on a first come first served basis.

I hope you work something out.

1. Gender discrimination. If he was a girl, he would be allowed to go? Does that mean there is one girl sleeping alone? Or is there a group of three girls in a room? This makes no sense. If a girl could have gone, a boy can go.

1. It's easy to alter sleeping arrangements - grab a mattress and put it on a floor of one of the other boys bedrooms and pull names out of a hat for the group of three than get that room.

1. This is really shit.

1. Take notes in the meeting and get board of governors involved immediately. I'd also be quite inclined to get LA involved before the meeting. This is not inclusive at all.

1. This has made me quite angry. School trips serve a whole heap of purposes and is not fair to not take one child because the school didn't get their arse into gear with sorting appropriate accomodation.

Bollocks to that.
They should not even offer a trip if they cannot accommodate every child.

Amateurs

It's easy to alter sleeping arrangements - grab a mattress and put it on a floor of one of the other boys bedrooms and pull names out of a hat for the group of three than get that room.

You can't just do that in a residential facility insured for a certain number of children per room. There will be strict regulations about numbers and breaking these would invalidate the facility's insurance, and would obviously be unacceptable from the school's point of view

I will find out the facts tomorrow.

Some of my friends have asked their DC (who are in the same year group) and they've all said that everybody except my DS is going but I'm not taking that as gospel

Hi op. Is this the PGL place? If so, they will be sleeping in the main house. I am sure the rooms can be used for either sex (obviously same sex in each room) and none of the rooms are 20/30. They have various sized rooms e.g. 8 or 10 etc so I am sure that something can be sorted if the school speak to the activity centre.

I have worked at different schools and have never heard of a child being refused a place on the Y6 residential trip! The only children that didn't go were the ones whose parents couldn't afford to pay or didn't want their child to go for whatever reason. My suggestion would be to play the "what about the affect on my child's mental health" card. HT / Chair of governors will not be keen to be held responsible for having such a massive impact on a child's emotional wellbeing. Obviously also point out that there were no restrictions mentioned in the original letter - there was no mention of conditions other than paying by the deadline - which you did.

And put everything discussed in writing. A paper trail may be useful if you end up taking the complaint to a formal basis, and up to the Governors. So an email "for the sake of good order you stated x to me by phone, y to my husband at pick up..at our meeting you said z.".

at our school admittedly its year groups are small (approximately 32 ) there is a place for everyone who wants to go (usually 100% take up)
I don't think our headteacher would even contemplate leaving one child behind .
The school need to have a re think and find a solution to this as it's very unfair to sat the least . Good luck Op I hope it works out for you

I would definitely talk further with the school and see if there is any way your son can be accommodated for the trip. Would you consider staying nearby with him as a last result so he can join in with the trip for the day/evening or suggest a couple of the teachers stay nearby to free up some space? Or even one teacher and a couple of boys- could even be a good option for any children who need extra support or less noise ?Not ideal by any means but perhaps better than missing out totally and if suggested would show the school how desperate you are for your son to be included.

Take the same week off work and book a family holiday somewhere nice. They can't exactly complain about this, can they?

Think you jelly - i'll ask.
I'll consider all options i just don't want him to miss out

Vanilla that's our plan if they won't work with us to find a solution.

This is not acceptable. DD1's school booked their residential earlier this year. They need a high staff:pupil ratio (SEN) so booked two lodges, one for staff and one for children with just a couple of staff for supervision. Then two more children joined the school which means there isn't enough room for everyone in the lodges.

Fair enough, those two children can't come because they joined the school late. Right?

No. Because it's a good school, they rearranged everything, so now some staff and all the children will be spilt across the two lodges, and for the rest of the staff they will have to book a B&B, because there isn't enough room at the venue.

There will be a solution here. They've just got to be willing to find it.