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Original poster

To be so angry with DS's school right now ?

265 replies

TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 17:06

Having a crappy week (see thread about friend letting me down) and it just keeps getting worse

DS's school are planning a residential trip to Shropshire next October for his year group.
DS very excited about trip so we complete the paperwork and pay the deposit as requested by the deadline. Paperwork went back about 2 weeks before deadline but due to a glitch with schools parent pay system we didn't pay deposit until the last day of the deadline.

Fast forward to today after being told that he was on the trip I receive a phone call from school telling me that they had messed up and had got the boy/girl ratio wrong and had one boy too many on the trip. Therefore DS will now be unable to go.

I was told that if he was a girl he could still have gone but they chose him not to go because We were last to pay.

Now they have known how many girls and boys are in that year group since reception.

If this was purely first come first serve I would understand but this clearly seems to be about his gender - he can't go because he's a boy.

Head teacher has basically said tough and DS is gutted

OP posts:
GardenGeek · 08/12/2016 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trifleorbust · 08/12/2016 18:13

rookiemere: Of course the child is going to feel dreadful and it's very unfair. I haven't said otherwise.

Jaxhog · 08/12/2016 18:13

To not accommodate the whole year is one thing, especially if they didn't tell you this in advance. But to omit just ONE boy is beyond outrageous. Take this to your head immediately, then chairman of the board of governors.

Forget the gender thing. That's just their excuse for gross incompetence. This is WAY beyond gender prejudice.

Topseyt · 08/12/2016 18:15

That's awful.

I am never normally one to complain to schools , but this sounds so unfair that I just couldn't leave it. I would lean on them to sort it out.

Boy - girl ratio sounds like bullshit to me. More like an administrative cock up.

Tell them that it is discrimination to have said that he cannot go because he is a boy.

Your delayed payment was down to parentpay glitches, and those certainly do happen. I have had them before. Nobody's fault, and you shouldn't be disadvantaged by it

Stand your ground.

ilongforlustre · 08/12/2016 18:15

I don't think this is gender discrimination. However, to book a whole year residential at a venue that does not have enough spaces for the whole year is bad planning at best and downright laughable at worst... yes mistakes happen... but that is monumental mistake, 10 places short would be one thing but 1? That's worse!

The fact that they never sold it as first come first served means that they never clocked there was an issue. Have your meeting with the Governors but ask them how this could happen. Did they not research the venue properly or were they hoping some children wouldn't come (stupid move). Ask them how they intend to fix this because no decent school would wish to single out a child for exclusion like this. (Make sure you use the word "exclusion" because that's what it is). Take copious notes.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:15

Bert my first thought was that he was being discriminated against because he would still be going if he was a different gender. Therefore the only reason he can't go is because he's a boy.

Obviously it's to do with sleeping arrangement, however they know the ratio of boys/girls before the trip

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 18:16

How big is the year group?

OlennasWimple · 08/12/2016 18:18

This is a major cock up

Tell them your son now identifies as a girl so will be able to go Wink

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:18

Thank you for all of your advice. I am usually very supportive of the school but in this instance I will be dealing with it formally - I'm beyond disgusted and so so upset for DS.

This is his year 6 trip and is his last big part of primary school
Life

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:19

It's a large year group with a large intact of boys. About 30 children per class

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:19

Intake !

OP posts:
steff13 · 08/12/2016 18:22

I don't understand why they would have given the facility numbers of those attending until the deposit deadline had passed. Per the OP, the deposit went through on the last day, it seems like the school wouldn't have contacted the facility until sometime after that to let them know the number of students attending. It's nearly a year away, surely they don't have to have firm numbers this early on.

If the facility can't accommodate all of the children in the class, then the school should have chosen someplace else. Logically, not all of the kids would be able to go, but the school should have chosen someplace that could accommodate all of them, if necessary.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 18:25

So hang on. There's at least 60 kids in the year- there must have been some sort of cut off criterion. Have you had another look at the original letter you got?

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 18:26

School's often arrange trips that not everyone can go on- it's usually on a first come first served basis.

Topseyt · 08/12/2016 18:26

Whilst it could be considered gender discrimination, I think that a stronger point is that it is grossly unfair on your DS.

How the fuck do they think they can get away with excluding one single child from a year group without very good reasons I have no idea. That is a very sticky wicket, surely.

I would press that strongly, being persistent and unwilling to take no for an answer.

Meluzyna · 08/12/2016 18:27

I cannot believe they are taking a whole yeargroup except for one pupil - that makes absolutely no sense at all - in my school it's an "everyone or no one" from the class policy - there is no way we would exclude a lone child. If it's true I would be kicking up one heck of a fuss - local papers, chairman of the governors, the LEA..... it is not right.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 18:27

They aren't excluding one single child from the year group.

Lunar1 · 08/12/2016 18:28

If he is the only one from the year excluded I would be bloody furious. I hate when schools do trips that can't accommodate everyone.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:29

I've re read the original letter it just says deposits by date nothing about first come first served.

DD went on the same trip a few years ago and that was also a large year group and the whole year group went

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:30

Yes the are excluding one child - mine !

OP posts:
ilongforlustre · 08/12/2016 18:31

Olennas - I was going to say that. But thought that I might get my rear end handed to me.

BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 18:32

"Yes the are excluding one child - mine !"

Yes, and that is awful. But he is not the only child not going. Which it how it initially appeared.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:32

Olennas , ilong - it's an option ..

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 08/12/2016 18:33

He is he only child not going

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 08/12/2016 18:35

"He is he only child not going"

Sorry- I am very confused now. You said it was a big year group with 30 to a class? Or did I misunderstand?

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