MIL and daughter's hat.

[doomf]

My MIL looks after my DD one day a week (Tuesday) and her other grand daughter one day a week (Wednesday).

I bought my daughter a lovely hat last year to go with a coat she had. The hat went missing at the end of last winter and I'd searched high and low for it it to no avail. Is asked MIL if she'd seen it and she swore blind she hadn't (I was pretty sure the last time she'd worn it was to her house). A few weeks ago I lamented to MIL that it was a shame id never found the hat as it would still have fit my DD this winter and she agreed.

Yesterday afternoon I'd taken a day off work and had gone into town with my DD only to run into my MIL and her other grand daughter...wearing the bloody hat!!!

AIBU to think that you just don't do that?!

*wary of.
Not sure what earybof is!

So how come the other parents didn't notice or say anything when their daughter originally turned up in the hat?

I think if you knew my MIL barbarian then you'd know that she's a fight fire with fire type woman and I don't think it's rude to call someone out when they've been caught. I wouldn't dream of keeping something that a) didn't belong to me and b) I knew someone was looking for it. Be that a hat or anything else.

When I'd said a few weeks ago she described the hat to me when I said I was looking for it. She clearly knew whose hat it was.

My husband just knows she's sneaky at times.

private how do you know I was booming? talk about conjecture. I'm capable of speaking thanks very much

My God what she did was unbelievable! The cheek of it. Taking it from one child in her family to give it to another one - who owns it!! - and then to lie about it.!! Has she no shame?

Well done, OP, for dealing with it.

Well clearly you know her and I don't. But then seriously - how can you send your dd to be looked after by someone who steals from you and lies about it? Don't you worry what else she might do and lie about?

As for those who are saying you were rude?! Eh? What sort of weird logic is THAT? The dear old MIL is technically a thief and a liar!

Grrrrrr

Oh dear, you are that Dil.

Some people just never get things do they. Of course "it's just a hat" but it's all about context. The op loved that that hat that matched her Dds little coat. She asked Mil many times for it. We all know what it's like if something like that disappears. Then, to see it on Mils other dgd..... who the hell wouldn't have reacted, I think the op acted very restrained in the circumstances. Yes "it's only a hat" but the issue here goes a lot deeper than that.

Well yeah now I really do, barbarian

I am going round today and I do want to speak to her. I don't like that trait in people. It might only be a hat but she was aware of exactly what it was and her face when I bumped into her was priceless. I was embarrassed for her.

And she is that MIL flying

Be equally sneaky.

Buy a fuckton of labels for your dds stuff. Sneakily take her to a childminder or nursery and sit back and watch your stuff disappear or come back covered in paint etc.

Yabu. It's a hat. It's annoying. But there might be a genuine reason for it. Your hat might have just turned up in a bag of hats/scarves/gloves etc. Your sil might have nicked it. Or picked it up accidentally.

You remind me of my lovely sil. She is a precious fucker too. As a result we are all usually too busy to look after dn when sil asks. Not because we don't want to spend time with dn. But because we can't cope with the digs and pa comments when she comes and collects her.

I would have concerns, too, about the way she is around your daughter, OP. That behaviour was really nasty.

"Frouby

Be equally sneaky.

Buy a fuckton of labels for your dds stuff. Sneakily take her to a childminder or nursery and sit back and watch your stuff disappear or come back covered in paint etc.

Yabu. It's a hat. It's annoying. But there might be a genuine reason for it. Your hat might have just turned up in a bag of hats/scarves/gloves etc. Your sil might have nicked it. Or picked it up accidentally.

You remind me of my lovely sil. She is a precious fucker too. As a result we are all usually too busy to look after dn when sil asks. Not because we don't want to spend time with dn. But because we can't cope with the digs and pa comments when she comes and collects her."

Oh dear. Try to see this from the OP's POV, why don't you?

frouby

You sound like a treat

You're not really getting my point though.

That's a lovely book, Fried. The page where the bear and rabbit just look at each other, without any words, is so funny.
Anyway, YANBU OAP.

I don't think you were rude at all, OP. can we see a picture of the hat please

OP, even

I think the thing is you can't have it both ways. You know her and we don't so maybe this comes with a load of context we don't know about. But either your Mil is trustworthy in which case you need to suck up the loss of a hat and count your blessings or this is the final straw that tells you MiL isn't trustworthy and you need to suck it up and pay for childcare.

I live in the South but rurally - I have friends paying £65 or £70 per day in the local city.

havenosocks

I feel like it's the latter option. We can afford to pay an extra days childcare but it would mean she wouldn't really see her gran at all. My husband gets on with his mum but he always hints that she's a bit sneaky. He knows her better than me and I've always given her the benefit of the doubt but she didn't expect to see me yesterday and when she did she looked mortified.

I don't live in the south of England. Childcare where I am is £35 to £40 a day

Lol love that you're rude one op when it's your dd's hat that was stolen