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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'I can't even cook cheese on toast'

649 replies

NaughtyLittlePassport · 07/12/2016 13:09

Prepared to be told IABU.
Having coffee with a relatively new friend, I said something about making Christmas dinner, she then said that she 'couldn't even make cheese on toast'. I was visibly gobsmacked and as it turns out she really can't cook anything!
She was really offended that I was so surprised, and told me she'd always been too busy to learn. I've offered to help her with some basics but she's ignored my message and cancelled our DS's playing together Shock
To not drip feed I was really shocked, going 'what not even. ....' and questioning what her kids eat probably a bit too much.
But really, wouldn't you be shocked if a 40 year old couldn't cook anything at all?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 08/12/2016 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaraCarter · 08/12/2016 13:12

Nope. I just feed her out of...

pouches.

Shock
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:16

But... naice pouches, Tara, yes? Shock

Shock
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/12/2016 13:18

But Tara do you mean you don't lovingly grill some lean portions of mouse with grass for your cat ?? Shock

It makes me sad SadGrin

GingerIvy · 08/12/2016 13:22

You're also judging me because I think it's important that children should have a cooked meal.

Nope. That's not it at all. I've never said children shouldn't have a cooked meal. I said the parent doesn't have to be able to cook for children to have a cooked meal.

I've also not judged how you feed your children. Don't care how you feed your children.

My children eat a healthy balanced diet. I cook. Their diet being healthy is not reliant on the need for me to cook, however.

From what's posted, I'm going with this kid has a shit diet.

You don't really have enough information to accurately support that assumption, but you've clearly made up your mind. Again, I'm not fussed. Everyone has an opinion - doesn't mean you're right.

And just because you feed your DC a non cooked balanced meal doesn't mean that everyone who doesn't cook will!

And just because you feed your dc a cooked balanced meal doesn't mean that everyone who cooks will!

Well, maybe people (of any age) reading it will engage brain and think "hey, perhaps I need to put a bit more effort into my children's diet".

And maybe those who are narrow minded enough to think that only people that cook can give their children a balanced diet will engage their brain and realise "hey, a parent is only required to PROVIDE a healthy balanced diet for their children - they are not required to have cooking skills to do so!"

It must be so exhausting finding fault with everyone that doesn't do things exactly the way you think they should be done.

If children are getting balanced diets, I don't care if the parents can cook or not. I cook, but I don't expect everyone to live the same way we do or make the same choices that we do. There are all sorts of options for cooked meals for children without the parent cooking. I think it's extremely narrow minded to assume that if a parent doesn't cook, the child isn't getting a balanced diet.

Oh, and FFS give the cheese on toast a rest. I get so tired of people banging on about how cheese on toast, beans on toast, and such are so healthy. They're okay, but a diet of that food is far from balanced. I'd rather see my child eat a salad with a healthy variety of veg than cheese on toast any day (which is probably just as well, because my dc wouldn't eat cheese on toast anyway).

WeeBoobs · 08/12/2016 13:24

My dad is in his 60s and can't cook cheese on toast. I bet you wouldn't be so shocked if a man said this.

TaraCarter · 08/12/2016 13:28

But...naicepouches,Tara, yes?

Er, those ones that are on offer?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:31

Exactly, GingerIvy. Healthy and nutritious food is just that whether it is cooked or not.

... and all this talk of cheese on toast is reminding me of that thread where an OP was stuck in her bedroom because her flatmate had her boyfriend around and they were taking up the whole flat. And OP badly wanted a cheese toastie. I really hope she's managed to get one by now. Shock

DeleteOrDecay · 08/12/2016 13:32

Why are people going on about if a man said this there wouldn't be any shock? I would be shocked/surprised if in this day and age anyone, regardless of gender, couldn't make themselves a simple meal/snack of cheese on toast.

Most men I know can cook, my dp cooks regularly, his dad does, my dad, my step dad, uncles etc can and do cook. The only man I knew who had never really set foot in the kitchen to cook a meal was my late granddad, which was probably a sign of the times he grew up in more than anything.

Seems a bit old fashioned to assume that if the op was talking about a man there would be no shock, I bet there would be.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:34

But won't anybody think about the children CATS?! Who will bring them gently cooked delicacies appropriate and suitable for their Royalness?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/12/2016 13:35

Tara Only if it is artisanal bread made with ingredients that are sung too as they grow... and it would be so brave and clever for MrC to cook Grin

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 13:38

Yep, Delete.

Soubriquet · 08/12/2016 13:40

Least my cat gets gourmet tins Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:43

I really want a cat now. :(

Soubriquet · 08/12/2016 13:44

I'm getting number 2 cat tomorrow

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/12/2016 14:02

OMG Soub - we want PICTURES!! Is he/she a kitten?

Soubriquet · 08/12/2016 14:03

No. He's a one year old rescue cat. With IBS.

Never had a home bless him

'I can't even cook cheese on toast'
DailyFail1 · 08/12/2016 14:12

I know several ladies who don't cook but they feed their kids far healthier foods than mums who can. We're talking elaborate salads, baked vegetables, toasted sandwiches filled with fresh fruit or veg.

We all also define cooking differently. Mum and mil don't think I can cook because I don't enjoy and am not good at cooking Indian food. However I can cook nearly everything else and good at even the most complex dishes of other types of cuisine.

PoorYorick · 08/12/2016 14:17

A lot of people are saying it's possible to eat healthily and feed growing children well without cooking. I honestly cannot see how....menu ideas, please?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/12/2016 14:18

Awwww he's lovely! If anyone deserves lightly
Grilled mouse on toast, he does Grin

Soubriquet · 08/12/2016 14:20

Grin problem is..with his IBS, he probably would be allowed it

WhereDoesThisRoadGo · 08/12/2016 14:21

It is surprising, especially someone who has a child, but not because it makes her a bad mum, just because it must be a nightmare sorting dinners. But your OP reads as though you were a bit rude to her. But it isn't irrepairable if you apologise.

DailyFail1 · 08/12/2016 14:21

There you go PoorYorick. Raw food recipes are also available.

allrecipes.co.uk/recipes/tag-5515/kids-no-cook-recipes.aspx?page=2

MarieBurnham · 08/12/2016 14:26

No one needs to cook these days. Pre prepared meals are made just like home made ones on scale. Cooking is boring AF if your in a rush.

I only cook at weekends.

MarieBurnham · 08/12/2016 14:29

If you want raw food make this carrot cake www.nestandglow.com/healthy-recipes/carrot-cake-truffles-vanilla-bean-icing

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