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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I can't even cook cheese on toast'

649 replies

NaughtyLittlePassport · 07/12/2016 13:09

Prepared to be told IABU.
Having coffee with a relatively new friend, I said something about making Christmas dinner, she then said that she 'couldn't even make cheese on toast'. I was visibly gobsmacked and as it turns out she really can't cook anything!
She was really offended that I was so surprised, and told me she'd always been too busy to learn. I've offered to help her with some basics but she's ignored my message and cancelled our DS's playing together Shock
To not drip feed I was really shocked, going 'what not even. ....' and questioning what her kids eat probably a bit too much.
But really, wouldn't you be shocked if a 40 year old couldn't cook anything at all?

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 08/12/2016 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 11:41

Young people? user aren't you one of the one's saying we can't comment as we don't know the woman and now you are bringing up a totally hypothetical situation and judging young people?

Fuck me, I know a lot of young people who are more than capable of cooking an entire bloody menu of starter, main course and desert for several different cuisine types.

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 11:45

No, I'm saying you judging on MN is going to bother a lot of other parents. Ones who don't cook much, ones who do cook but clearly not up to your standards. They are going to read your diatribes about how their children will all be obese and with liver failure and no teeth, and its all their fault.

Everyones a young person to me, I'm fucking ancient.

TaraCarter · 08/12/2016 12:00

I guess you shouldn't be a MN member then - it's usually the case you only have the OPs words to go on - that's the point of a discussion in the internet forums.

Far from it; in fact, my ability to distinguish between first-, second- and third-hand sources of information has always been an asset to me on MN.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 12:02

Well, maybe people (of any age) reading it will engage brain and think "hey, perhaps I need to put a bit more effort into my children's diet".

I never said anything about young people - I didn't raise them, you did.

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 12:02

Far from it; in fact, my ability to distinguish between first-, second- and third-hand sources of information has always been an asset to me on MN

I find that too, but sadly not many do.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 12:04

You say this, yet, you totally chose to ignore scientific fact on the advantages of good nutrition in childhood.

Ok...

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 12:04

Well, maybe people (of any age) reading it will engage brain and think "hey, perhaps I need to put a bit more effort into my children's diet

And maybe they'll say "Oh thank you anonymous internet person, your judging words have made me see the light, I will one day be nearly as good as you!"

user1480946351 · 08/12/2016 12:05

You say this, yet, you totally chose to ignore scientific fact on the advantages of good nutrition in childhood

Nobody is ignoring those well known facts. Thats not the pont here.

NavyandWhite · 08/12/2016 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 12:07

Sounds like I've inspired you than user if that's what you think other will read.

Perfect.

TaraCarter · 08/12/2016 12:10

you totally chose to ignore scientific fact on the advantages of good nutrition in childhood.

They have little relation to the thread. No amount of remarking on the importance of adequate nutrition affects whether this child has been given a nutritious diet or not. Your posts are not magic!

And if I was looking for information, I think I could find better and more useful sources of information and guidance than anything on this thread...

HandbagCrab · 08/12/2016 12:12

Lots of kids are fussy and survive on toast, fruit and a bit of protein in the toddler years. Even if the other parent isn't cooking everyday (which we don't know) I'm sure these dc are fine. It's hardly biscuits for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch and kfc for tea every single day.

EustaceClarenceScrubb · 08/12/2016 12:13

You say this, yet, you totally chose to ignore scientific fact on the advantages of good nutrition in childhood

Good nutrition does not necessarily = ability to cook. FFS.

Wolverbamptonwanderer · 08/12/2016 12:23

"Today 12:07 HoopsandEverything

Sounds like I've inspired you than user if that's what you think other will read.

Perfect."

I'm a bit confused by this- no offence but no one here has any reason to think you know what you're talking about or you know something they don't, and you haven't, with all respect, posted anything inspiring.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 12:23

I agree with you, user, there's nothing to be gained from judging people who can't/won't cook. It's clear though that there are a few posters who really do rub their thighs together at the thought of pulling people apart. I'm not referring to the posters expressing astonishment/mild surprise (once or twice), it's the repetitive putting down that seems mean and is just unnecessary.

I think cooking is an essential skill but, people manage somehow and their children are in fine fettle. Perhaps they move around a lot, burn off excess carbs and calories and take vitamins... who knows? Those people who are struggling with healthy eating, there is help out there. It's not going to be found on a thread like this.

Making people feel like crap though - what's the point?

TaraCarter · 08/12/2016 12:34

Lying

Making people feel like crap though - what's the point?

Aha, I have this one!

As diacussed earlier, cooking meal after meal for young children who go "eurgh!" and push it around their plates night after night is soul-destroying. Perhaps it's a lot more bearable if you've stoked up your inner fire earlier in the day on a thread like this?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 12:41

Tara

There are a lot of children who believe in the dinner fairy who will magically make them something perfect for their tastebuds, instantly - and who will instantly convert it to something else should their tastebuds say 'No!'.

Soul-destroying it is indeed and there must be parents across the country banging their heads on tables whilst stuffing whatever morsel they can get their child to actually eat.

HoopsandEverything · 08/12/2016 12:47

The only people that are going to feel like crap are those that make no effort with learning to cook and don't feed their children a balanced diet for absolutely no reason other than they are lazy. If you are a comfortable that your kid receives a balanced diet - you are not going to feel like crap reading this thread, because you clearly appreciate that diet is important (otherwise you'd be winging them a french stick every meal for ease).

I actually went to a lot of trouble to post to a poster to ensure they didn't feel like crap and to clarify their situation wasn't what I was talking about.

You seem to not value the fact that nutrition in childhood is important. A parent taking the responsibility to cook basic meals even though their other parent cooks actually is very, very little in the grand scheme of parenting and the effort that parenting requires. The OP was talking about grilling cheese on toast. Nothing complicated. The only step up from a bloody open cheese sandwich is turning on the grill. You have said that "not all children have poor health outcomes due to poor diets", true, but a lot do. Like I said before, not all smokers get cancers, but we all probably still accept that smoking is bad for your health.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:01

How patronising you are Hoops and what a lot of absolute rubbish you do post. You know nothing of what I value and what I don't - nor what anybody else values or doesn't.

Your posts are just for you, a little sop to your ego, you obviously need that so knock yourself out.

EustaceClarenceScrubb · 08/12/2016 13:01

But Hoops smoking is once again a very poor comparison. No one needs to smoke to survive, it is entirely optional. On the other hand everyone needs to eat to survive. There are many types of food, some good, some bad, most are ok in moderation. If you insist on your kids only eating home cooked nutritious food and they refuse because they don't like the taste, what do you do? Stubbornly hold out whilst they get more & more hungry and weak, or try and find something else for them to eat, even though it may not be 100% nutritious? I get that you are evangelical about what you see as good nutrition, but I also hope that when you have a family you are not presented with a picky eater, because I can see that will cause you a lot of conflict.

You also refuse to accept that good nutrition can be provided without cooking, and seem to suggest that all home cooked food is nutritious by its very nature of being home cooked. So have some Cake. It is home cooked so isn't actually sugary and unhealthy at all!

NavyandWhite · 08/12/2016 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaraCarter · 08/12/2016 13:03

My cat has never had a cooked meal and she's thriving!

Facetious? Who, me?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:09

Oh. My little stalker is back, name-checking me again.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2016 13:10

Tara, you bad, bad owner you. No scrambled egg with smoked salmon? Shock

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