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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The man in the garden centre (staff) kissed me...

146 replies

NobblBobbl007 · 07/12/2016 09:18

Yesterday I was just stunned, today I feel more uncomfortable like I should have asserted my boundaries. Tell me what you think?

Back in the summer a young member of staff started chatting to me in my local garden centre. I didn't know him from adam but he said he recognised me from my frequent visits there. We got talking and he asked me how my garden is? It was literally chest-high in weeds as I'd had a large extension added and it had been neglected for two years. He went on to tell me how he adored gardening and would love to help me get the plot back into shape again. A week later having thought about it, I went back to the garden centre and asked if he was serious about helping me (he said he was) and I asked what his daily rate would be? He resolutely refused to accept any money saying it was against his managers rules that staff take paid employment elsewhere in their time off but that he'd still love to help me for free and that there was nothing more satisfying than seeing a neglected plot turned around. I thought the ££ a bit Confused but anyway we arranged a day. The day came, all was well, we both worked very hard, no funny business. At lunchtime I took him to a local (posh) cafe and treated him to whatever he wanted. When the end of the day came around, it was apparent he was fond of me but absolutely NOTHING happened. No innuendo etc. I'm 10yrs older. He told me he lives with his girlfriend. So I go to offer him some money because he did work really hard and again he refuses. So he leaves & that's it finished.
Then, roll on yesterday & I go to the garden centre to price up xmas trees (we're talking probably 6 months later). And there he is assisting with trees. The place is busy. I briefly check out the prices whilst he serves someone else, he nods & smiles hello. I leave that area and go inside to check out the decorations. Now in our garden centre, staff usually stay put in their 'zone'. Next thing I know I get a tap on the shoulder, he's come inside looking for me. He shifts from one foot to the other, slightly shy but with a big beaming smile on his face and then lunges forward to embrace me and kiss both cheeks! It all happened so fast I kind of went along with it. But I was taken aback. I sort of smiled back and said 'yes hello' etc but I was stunned. It was like he'd made his mind up to kiss me, never mind my personal boundaries. The whole thing was over quickly because he had to get back to his area. But today I feel uncomfortable about it. Had I been stronger I could have rebuffed that kiss - it overstepped the mark. But then it's only a kiss and it wasn't like he snogged me or anything. Today I just have that feeling that he wanted to be that intimately close to me & that he could achieve it with an 'innocent' hello kiss. It sounds so stupid, it was only a double cheek kiss, it's just the way it was done, sort of purposefully & forceful. It wasn't the light sort of 'air kiss' your gay interior designer might give you. Thankfully I don't have to go back there again so that's an end to it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 14:54

And the OP like this?

The man in the garden centre (staff) kissed me...
NovemberInDailyFailLand · 07/12/2016 15:42

Grin Wookie!

scottishdiem · 07/12/2016 15:45

Wookie for the Win!

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 07/12/2016 15:47

Was thinking more along these lines...

The man in the garden centre (staff) kissed me...
PuppyMonkey · 07/12/2016 15:50

Grin at this thread. I was reading the OP ... "there was nothing more satisfying than seeing a neglected plot turned around"... and PMSL, but then thinking the whole of MN would be all "that's outrageous of him kissing you, report it" etc. Phew. So glad you all proved me wrong.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 07/12/2016 16:01

I would not have entertained the idea of having some youngster probably on NMW come over and put a full day's work in in my garden for free.

I feel sorry for that lad. Sad

PuppyMonkey · 07/12/2016 16:02

"full day's work in my garden" Grin

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 07/12/2016 16:07

"full day's work in my garden"

This thread has suddenly taken a low tone.

Jolly good! Xmas Wink

Imchangingmyname · 07/12/2016 16:16

Where are you OP? Tending your bushes? Why bother when you can get the garden centre skivvy employee to do it for nothing?!

TheBruteSquad · 07/12/2016 16:23

Call 101.

HurricaneSwallows · 07/12/2016 16:32

Wookie GrinGrinGrin

I'm snorting laughing

HuskyLover1 · 07/12/2016 16:41

I think we all know, that he would like to attend to her lady garden with his big tool.

SirChenjin · 07/12/2016 16:41

Grin wookie

OP - can you give me his number? My garden is in drastic need of a free makeover

RubbishMantra · 07/12/2016 17:02

I'm still Grin [grin ] at licked the doors. Imagine if that were the case, and he explained it by, "Oh, just valeting the car in my break!" Then proceeded to gobble down any discarded Costa coffee cups in the footwell.

YouHadMeAtCake · 07/12/2016 17:23

Husky Grin

amammabear · 07/12/2016 17:23

The op has had a busy day by the looks of things... Do you think she went to the garden centre?

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 07/12/2016 17:43

Pinkies,

I understand what you were trying to do. But I've read funnier peter Kay sketches. And that's saying something.

Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 17:46

mary, mary A tad harsh there me dear! 😉

Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 17:48

Cover your ears pinkie Grin

Wookiecookies · 07/12/2016 17:48

Or eyes even... GrinBlush

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 07/12/2016 17:49

Sorry, maybe was a tad harsh.

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 07/12/2016 17:50

But her post did make me cringe for her.

AnyFucker · 07/12/2016 18:01

It's not very convincing this < understatement >

PinkiePiesCupcakes · 07/12/2016 18:23

"Dear Mary,

May I take this opportunity to thank you for your comments, taking precious time from your life to write a message to me is very touching.

In response to your specific comment, may I remind you that Mr Kay is a professional comedian and as such should most certainly have funnier material than myself, a weirdo on the tinterweblies.

Further to that, please do feel free to use your time more constructively in future, maybe by boiling your own head?

Yours most sincerely,
HRH F. Uckoff"

DisappointingBanana · 07/12/2016 18:25

Harsh but fair, Mary, harsh but fair.