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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel let down by my friend

135 replies

TheLaundryLady · 06/12/2016 22:59

Background - been best friends since we were pregnant with our DC now aged 10. DC good friends. I often have her DC at our house at short notice and overnight and for weekends when she wants to go out. Also have her dog regularly overnight. All of this is rarely reciprocated which is a bug bare of DH's. She's been a single parent since marriage split 3 years ago and I have fully supported her as friends do.

It's mine and DH's wedding anniversary on 11th December and he had arranged for BF to have DC aged 10 and our dog Saturday and Sunday so that we could have some time away. Younger DC 6 is going to DM (she couldn't manage both DC and dog).

He arranged this over 3 months ago and booked hotel etc - fast forward to tonight she has had an argument with her boyfriend and is too upset to have DC and dog at the weekend.

MIL died last week after a short illness with cancer and she knows difficult it has been for both DH and I - we were really looking forward to having one night away and I'm gutted - AIBU to feel really angry at her right now ?

OP posts:
NapQueen · 07/12/2016 16:04

To her "I'm so sorry" I'd message back.

"Never mind, I imagine I'll get over it eventually. I appreciate you have shit going on, but I've always been there for you even when I may not have preferred not to. It's a shame, really, isn't it?"

Msqueen33 · 07/12/2016 16:04

Her mother sounds just as bad! The bloody cheek of both of them. You're well rid!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 07/12/2016 16:05

I have had a message from her mum today saying that's she's really upset that she's let me down and can I give her a big hug next time I see her - like fuck will I do that !!

Er no, that's not the way it works. Looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree there. Confused

Sorry you had to cancel.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/12/2016 16:06

Very poor behaviour on her part, (and she's possibly realised she's made life more awkward for herself in future into the bargain, her mum's message says to me).

And just at a time when DH and you could do with a bit of a treat.

sonjadog · 07/12/2016 16:10

I would just ignore her from now on. She´ll most likely wail and cry about it, but she isn´t a friend to you. Maybe yourcould get a weekend away after Christmas? Find another parent who could look after your DS and dog? Sounds like you both need to get away.

DixieWishbone · 07/12/2016 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Note3 · 07/12/2016 16:12

Her mum's msg is literally the cherry on the cake! You need to comfort your 'friend' because she was a using muppet who let you down massively on the rare occasion you needed her help?!? Unbelievable

sonjadog · 07/12/2016 16:12

I reckon her mum´s message was aimed at damage control. She wants to test how annoyed you are to see if the source of favors for her daughter has dried up or not.

Schoolisback1973 · 07/12/2016 16:14

She is purely pathetic for being so selfish. I just hope you say 'no' when she asks for help next time. I would also call her a user..
So what did she tell her son about the sleepover?

KatharinaRosalie · 07/12/2016 16:15

Wow with a mum like that, no wonder she thinks the world owes her a favour.

MondayTuesdayWednesday · 07/12/2016 16:16

I would be so annoyed at the Mum's message. The next time she asks you to mind her children and dog please say no and do not feel one bit bad about it!

NerdsAndMonsters · 07/12/2016 16:18

Wow! Like Mother Like Daughter !
Just drop her OP, you sound lovely Flowers

HanShootsFirst · 07/12/2016 16:18

Did you lose a deposit on the weekend? Send her (& her mum) a bill.

Bluntness100 · 07/12/2016 16:21

That's really really bad and the mother is worse. Making out like her daughters the victim here. No matter how upset she is she should still have taken them. Don't help her out again. She's not your friend. Friends don't do this to one another. She's been using you and not is worried she won't be able to again.

BravoPanda · 07/12/2016 16:21

My close friend did this for my 30th Birthday when we'd planned to go out for the evening. After a string of shitty birthdays for years, this one was no different, I had a carcrash earlier in the day and some idiot wrote my car off and I was gutted as I'd had it for 10 years and it was immaculate, I just wanted to go out and do something nice. She later called and claimed she had a headache and couldn't sit for us (even though she was the one that offered and encouraged us to go out, and knew about the car crash). £250 down the pan on a hotel suite and travel/show tickets.

Turns out she'd just had an argument with her boyfriend over milk... MILK?!

Never bothered with her much since to be honest.

Roussette · 07/12/2016 16:29

As a pp said - if she was a proper friend she would move hell and high water not to let you down. That's what friends do. She is no friend.

And as for the mother... what a bloody cheek. She is trying to bridge the gap between you both ... give her a hug = don't fall out with her. Too late! That happened when she left you without your weekend away from being selfish.

EweAreHere · 07/12/2016 16:46

Wow.

Like mother like daughter, apparently.

rollonthesummer · 07/12/2016 16:50

I would let her now know that you are pissed off now as otherwise the next time she asks you to have her dog/kids (and there will be a next time-probably soon, as she'll need a night out to cheer herself up after being Sooooo upset at letting you down), she'll be all surprised at you being funny with her out of the blue. Because she offered to have your kids and everything and that's nearly as good as, you know, actually having them.

Does her mum normally text you??

Katy07 · 07/12/2016 17:12

I have had a message from her mum today saying that's she's really upset that she's let me down and can I give her a big hug next time I see her - like fuck will I do that !!
You are kidding?!!! Shock The cheek of the insert insulting term of choice I hope you texted her mum and said something polite but appropriate?!

NiceFalafels · 07/12/2016 17:28

Maybe you could text the mother 'Im far too upset and disappointed to hug anyone'

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 07/12/2016 17:29

I haven't responded to her mum's message - I'm too gobsmacked and am currently incapable of responding in a socially acceptable way!

To answer a PP no her mum never messages me so I was very surprised.

I have not responded to friends last message either

Fortunately the hotel we were booked into were lovely and have given DH a full refund.

No idea what she's told her DS , I haven't said anything to mine yet and he's not said anything to me - will have to say something to him soon though

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 07/12/2016 17:33

So your friend has gone out of her way to give ger mother your number so she can text you??

Andbabymakesthree · 07/12/2016 17:36

I'd text and ask her if she can cope with her boys and dog this weekend.

Then never response again.

Original poster
TheLaundryLady · 07/12/2016 17:44

Rollonthesummer her mum messaged me through Facebook messenger

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/12/2016 17:46

I would be tempted to reply to the mum "Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!" and then blocking them both!

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