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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny gave DD a cold sore - furious. AIBU?

436 replies

firstimer30s · 04/12/2016 17:31

As the title said, nanny came to work with a cold sore. She said she is careful so like an idiot I didn't question it. DD (3 yrs old) developed a fever, sore throat and now a huge cold sore. I am so angry and I'm kicking myself. DD will now have this for life.
Nanny says she is sorry.
What would you do?

OP posts:
SleepForTheWeak · 04/12/2016 20:10

Ghosty you are wrong.

I contracted genital herpes from a partner, when the test results came back the virus I had was HSV-1 and right enough my partner came out in a cold sore a couple days later.

I've never had a cold sore around my mouth.

Mrsmorton · 04/12/2016 20:10

boop totally agree. But then there's often a bit of weirdness around germs on here.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/12/2016 20:14

poor nanny,not her fault, and she did tell you she had a cold sore, and you didnt send her home

so dont think you can blame the nanny !!!!

and quite possible dc could have caught from nursery as well

im sure your nanny would have been diligent about washing hands, not kissing touching etc

i have suffered from cold sores for years, i get them when stressed,run down etc, may not have one for months, then have one, then may not have one for another 6mths

i wouldnt work with newborns with a cold sore,im a maternity nanny, but have as a nanny

In the 19yrs i was with my dh, and the almost 5yrs i have been with df i have never given either of them a cold sore

Amandahugandkisses · 04/12/2016 20:17

The herpes virus can be extremely nasty. DD suffers and they take her out of action for weeks. Never underestimate this virus!
Having said this your nanny was honest and you still let her work. It's not her fault.

StarryIllusion · 04/12/2016 20:18

FFS if you are furious over a cold sore then you really need some bigger problems in your life. Some people's kids are dying of cancer. Yours has a cold sore. A little perspective maybe? Just get over it like the other 7 out of 10 people who have it. In the grand scheme of things it isn't anything to get worked up about.

dementedpixie · 04/12/2016 20:23

sleepfortheWeak, is it not more likely that he passed it to you via his cold sore as you can shed the virus before the blister appears?

TheMagicFarawaySleep · 04/12/2016 20:23

OP - sometimes shit stuff just happens! Yep, your DD might have caught it from touching the Nanny before the cold sore appeared. Yes, you'd rather that hadn't happened.

It worries me that people seem to think that everything negative has to be somebody's fault, rather than people just accepting that shit happens sometimes.

Can you be 100% certain that your DD wasn't already incubating the virus, perhaps triggering the Nanny's cold sore? And even if DD did get it from the Nanny, so what? Would you actually rather that your Nanny didn't have any close contact with DD in future, in case she's brewing a bug? No hugs, no kisses?

Mrsmorton · 04/12/2016 20:24

Btw, shingles is herpes zoster, same family but not the same virus so some significant inaccuracy there from someone.

Kirriemuir · 04/12/2016 20:27

Seriously, it's a cold sore. Wait for V&D or noro from school. Head lice, colds. Then factor in slapped cheek, hand foot and mouth. You are overreacting.

FourKidsNotCrazyYet · 04/12/2016 20:30

Trifleorbust. I'm not assuming she does. I'm asking if she does? Surely that's the greater concern. If it's out of character then it's an accident. If it's poor, lazy hygiene correct it before there's another incident!

FourKidsNotCrazyYet · 04/12/2016 20:32

Hayles88. Lovely, intelligent comment. Thank you! Your mum must be so proud

Manumission · 04/12/2016 20:34

Aren't cold sores basically herpes? an STD?

Did you think that through before you posted? Hmm

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 04/12/2016 20:34

It was me who thought my horrible shingles was a progression from my cold sores.

I apologise (and thanks for putting me right)

TheMagicFarawaySleep · 04/12/2016 20:42

Flappy - I got shingles following a flu virus. Apparently, other viruses can lower your immune defence, then you can get shingles straight after the original virus. Could that have happened?

Amandahugandkisses · 04/12/2016 20:44

"Aren't cold sores basically herpes? an STD?"

No! This is completely incorrect btw. If it wasn't transmitted sexually then it's not a STD Hmm

lilybetsy · 04/12/2016 20:46

YABVU, almost all kids are exposed to HSV 1 (herpes simplex Virus type 1 - as opposed to HSV 2 which causes genital herpes ) like all herpes viruses ( including varicella that causes chicken pox) it remains present within the nerve cells for life. Some people have HSV1 and never get cold sores, others have regular attacks. Get a grip,, it's a cold sore not hepatitis B.

FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile · 04/12/2016 20:46

Magic

Possibly - Was certainly very run down and under stress at the time, but it was close on fifteen years ago I first developed shingles and there was so much else going on in my life I truly can't remember.

I think I just transitioned it

cold sore (herpes) + stress = shingles (horrible herpes)

My usual 2 + 2 makes 5, I'm afraid.

lola111 · 04/12/2016 20:52

Maybe you are the carrier who passed it on to both of them?

almondpudding · 04/12/2016 21:00

I thought shingles was a totally different kind of herpes and was related to having had chicken pox in the past.

I have had shingles and definitely have not had herpes simplex.

AteRiri · 04/12/2016 21:01

I thought shingles was a totally different kind of herpes and was related to having had chicken pox in the past.

It is. It's Varicella Zoster virus.

Cold sore is Herpes Simplex 1.

PacificDogwod · 04/12/2016 21:05

Cold sores are usually Herpes simplex 1.
Genital herpes is usually HS2.
But both can cause either.

If a cold sore is caused by, say, a blow job, it's an STD.
Otherwise it's not.

Shingles is caused by a reactivation of varicella virus = chickenpox.
It's related to HS, but not the same.
A cold sore cannot give you shingles.
Shingles cannot give you shingles, but can give you chickenpox if you are not immune already.

Is that all clear as mud? Grin

There are lots of people out there who will have antibodies to any of these (and loads of other) viruses but have not been ill with them, so are blissfully unaware that they are immune.

A lot of it is potluck.

SleepFreeZone · 04/12/2016 21:06

I caught the cold sore virus from my father as a child and I'm ok. It's a pain in the arse, I probably get one every two years so not too bad. If it had been me I would have sent the nanny straight home, but if you didn't know just how contagious they are then unfortunately it's just one of those things.

As a side note the Herpes virus can kill babies do be extra vigilant in the future if you have another baby and your daughter comes down with a cold.

almondpudding · 04/12/2016 21:09

That is what I thought, Pacific.

Like thrush. I could have thrush not through sexual transmission, so at that point it is not an STD. If they then have oral sex with me and end up with thrush in their mouth, they've contracted an STD from me.

The same with HIV from sharing a needle, not an STD, but having contacted it non sexually you can pass it on as an STD.

AteRiri · 04/12/2016 21:11

Pacific is correct.

ExitPursuedBySantaSpartacus · 04/12/2016 21:17

There are not enough grips in all the world to cover this thread.

So many bonkers statements.

And if this was any other 'illness' there would be outrage at many of the comments.

Swipe left for the next trending thread