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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's not ok to pick the flowers

158 replies

GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:21

I live on a street that has trees dotted along the pavements. There is a tree immediately outside my house. Like some of the other residents on the street, I have planted flowers around the base of the tree. It looks lovely and I think helps to make the road look loved and cared for by the people that live there.

Just now I was tidying in my front living room and saw a woman with a little boy knelt down by the tree in front of my house. The boy started picking some of the flowers and then they started to walk off. I went to the door, said "excuse me, your son has just picked the flowers that I've planted". The woman said she was sorry but she didn't think they belonged to anyone, her son wanted to pick the flowers so she said he could.

I responded that surely she knew that someone would have planted them and asked why was she letting her son pick flowers that someone has taken the time to enjoy. She shrugged and said she lets her son pick flowers and again that she didn't think they were anyone's.

I think this is a really weird attitude. It's a small thing but in planting those flowers I've tried to make this little patch of land look nice, for anyone walking past to enjoy and it pisses me off that this woman is teaching her kid that it's ok to pick the flowers (no doubt to be dropped on the ground and forgotten about 2 minutes later).

BTW, I am well aware that this land doesn't belong to me, but in the same way that people hopefully wouldn't let their kids pick flowers from a park or some other public land where flowers have been planted for everyone's enjoyment, I don't think it's ok to do the same in this situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:22

Sorry, third paragraph should say "that someone has taken the time to plant"

OP posts:
DorotheaHomeAlone · 03/12/2016 12:23

Yanbu. Flowers in communal spaces are there for everyone to enjoy. I would never let my kids pick or damage them.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 03/12/2016 12:23
Flowers
NoCapes · 03/12/2016 12:24

Yeah I think you're being really precious and I'd possibly think you were a bit nuts if I was that Mum, sorry Flowers

user1477282676 · 03/12/2016 12:25

YANBU. This is the same mindset as those who drop litter in my opinion.

Picking flowers in your own garden is fine. Anywhere else? Nope.

Wildflowers are often protected and should not be picked. Planted areas in parks and streets are there for everyone not some selfish tit who fancies them in a drooping bunch to be discarded within a day.

user1477282676 · 03/12/2016 12:26

Capes so everyone should just pick the flowers instead of leaving them for others to look at? Grow up...that's a horrible attitude.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 03/12/2016 12:26

Tbh, I think YABU. How was she to know you had planted them? The trees along the roadside don't belong to you and once you plant flowers around them neither do the flowers. Flowers in your own garden belong to you.

TheWitTank · 03/12/2016 12:27

YANBU. Same happens around here with bluebells, daffs and snowdrops. It's so bloody selfish -the flowers are for everyone to enjoy looking at, if you want your own to pick, plant them in your garden or buy some cut ones.

Mathsmess · 03/12/2016 12:29

Not your land

Original poster
GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:29

Don't apologise, NoCapes, I posted because I'm curious as to what others think. I don't think it's nice to pull out flowers that someone else has spent time and effort planting and caring for, which is why I went do the door and spoke to her. She probably won't give a shit but then again maybe she won't let her son do it again, who knows.

Thanks for the flowers Dorothea Smile

OP posts:
Meandyouandyouandme · 03/12/2016 12:29

YANBU, everyone knows that you don't pick flowers in the park or the countryside, so that everyone can enjoy them.

EdmundCleverClogs · 03/12/2016 12:30

I don't think you're 'nuts'. Then again I was raised to not pick flowers, especially ones that are obviously planted and well cared for. That's just having some general respect, or so I thought. I think it's pretty selfish to pick flowers, but then I guess others have different ideas of respecting the world around us.

Meandyouandyouandme · 03/12/2016 12:30

Or everyone should know, I blame the parents Flowers

Original poster
GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:31

It's not about the flowers/land belonging to me. As I said in my first post, I know that it's communal land. But those flowers were planted for everyone to enjoy and if people going around picking them then they are gone and no one can enjoy them. I think it's selfish.

OP posts:
SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 12:33

YANBU. I was brought up not to pick flowers and am teaching my children the same. It's seems an incredibly obvious thing to me. If one person picks the flowers only they get to enjoy them. If you leave them there we can all enjoy them. So, selfish to pick them, in conclusion.

SouthofMaui · 03/12/2016 12:34

YANBU

I think it's sad that so many people are rude and selfish. It's even worst when they damage things for the fun of it, like hanging baskets.
You are doing a good think by making your street nice. Imagine if everyone was doing the same.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 03/12/2016 12:34

Reading your OP again I see it's not an issue of ownership but of general courtesy. I wouldn't let my DS pick flowers on a street like that as I would be teaching him they are there for others to enjoy. But then again saying "your son picked the flowers I've just planted" in front of the kid isn't so nice either IMO.

SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 12:36

Why is it not nice to say that in front of the child?

Lucydogz · 03/12/2016 12:37

YANBU. Some people are entitled idiots

NoCapes · 03/12/2016 12:37

Did no-one ever make 'perfume' as a child in the park? Or pick a little flower and tuck it behind your ear?

I've really never known anyone be precious about flowers in a public park

ShowMePotatoSalad · 03/12/2016 12:38

Because it's putting blame on the kid whose parent presumably said it was OK...and I doubt it was the most amenable of conversations.

Cherryskypie · 03/12/2016 12:39

What flowers were they? My garden is looking very dead.

YANBU but you'll get lots of posters who were dragged up saying you are.

Original poster
GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:39

ShowMePotatoSalad I wasn't unpleasant in the way I spoke to her, and I didn't address the little boy directly- I absolutely wouldn't want to upset him and as far as I could see I don't think that I did.

I dithered for a moment as to whether I should say anything, but maybe she won't let him do it again (she did say that she lets her son pick flowers).

OP posts:
Lasthurrah · 03/12/2016 12:40

Yanbu

I remember seeing a woman picking herself a bunch of daffodils in a park and looking overjoyed and thinking, well, we could all do that but there wouldn't be any left to look at. It's rude and selfish.

SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 12:40

Would you prefer "why did you let your son pick those flowers?" addressed to the mother?

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