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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's not ok to pick the flowers

158 replies

GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:21

I live on a street that has trees dotted along the pavements. There is a tree immediately outside my house. Like some of the other residents on the street, I have planted flowers around the base of the tree. It looks lovely and I think helps to make the road look loved and cared for by the people that live there.

Just now I was tidying in my front living room and saw a woman with a little boy knelt down by the tree in front of my house. The boy started picking some of the flowers and then they started to walk off. I went to the door, said "excuse me, your son has just picked the flowers that I've planted". The woman said she was sorry but she didn't think they belonged to anyone, her son wanted to pick the flowers so she said he could.

I responded that surely she knew that someone would have planted them and asked why was she letting her son pick flowers that someone has taken the time to enjoy. She shrugged and said she lets her son pick flowers and again that she didn't think they were anyone's.

I think this is a really weird attitude. It's a small thing but in planting those flowers I've tried to make this little patch of land look nice, for anyone walking past to enjoy and it pisses me off that this woman is teaching her kid that it's ok to pick the flowers (no doubt to be dropped on the ground and forgotten about 2 minutes later).

BTW, I am well aware that this land doesn't belong to me, but in the same way that people hopefully wouldn't let their kids pick flowers from a park or some other public land where flowers have been planted for everyone's enjoyment, I don't think it's ok to do the same in this situation.

OP posts:
eggyface · 03/12/2016 14:29

I really love wrought iron benches, when I see them in the road I always let my kids jemmy them up and take them home as a gift for grandma. Didn't think they belonged to anyone.

nickelbabe · 03/12/2016 14:30

I think the phrase "take nothing but photographs" is the most apt one.

Daisies, buttercups, dandelions, clover, all fine to pick.
Everything else, leave it!

YelloDraw · 03/12/2016 14:34

eggyface lol!

I'm with you OP. It isn't rud, selfish and ignorant to pick flowers unless you planted them.

Fluffy24 · 03/12/2016 14:36

YANBU

ShowMePotatoSalad · 03/12/2016 14:45

GiveMeShade I hope I can admit when I am wrong, and I'm doing so now! All I can say is: what was the mum thinking? I just pictured them planted near the tree and thought she might have mistaken them for wild....not bordered like this. At the very least did she not think the council had planted them and that she shouldn't let her son uproot them? I admit I am totally in the wrong with my previous comments. You did the right thing, 100%. Blush

notrocketscience · 03/12/2016 14:48

guerrillagardening.org/

OP; I think you are doing a lovely thing. Please carry on with your kindness in sharing beauty with others. I also commend you for (hopefully!) educating the woman. YANBU.

On my way from the car park to my work I always pick up a handful of litter to dispose of. I can see I have made on impact but sadly there are some well known fastfood places nearby and this part of the town seems to be where the idiots have finished scoffing and feel it's ok to lob the rubbish out of the car window. I wish the eating places could be fined but I suppose that would be unfair.

woodhill · 03/12/2016 14:52

I was taught never to pick flowers in public spaces so yanbu OP and outside someone's house as well

Lucydogz · 03/12/2016 14:52

notrocketscience I was just thinking today that fast food companies should be fined for any litter that has their name on it. Ditto drinks cans and bottles.

notrocketscience · 03/12/2016 15:05

Lucydogz In that case I'm going to mention it to my local councillors and let's start a campaign!

Suppermummy02 · 03/12/2016 16:02

GiveMeShade, I agree with you now, having seen the picture, they do obviously look deliberately planted and I would not let my DC pick them.

I was imagining something different.

I would worry about a jobsworth council fining you for planting them, health and safety, or possibly to prevent adverse possession claims.

SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 16:09

Suppermummy can I ask why you think it's ok to pick wild flowers that you might see at the bottom of a tree when you go for a walk in the countryside? (excluding daisies, dandelions, buttercups, clover)

allegretto · 03/12/2016 16:12

YANBU - it drives me mad when people can't see that just because something is there for everybody doesn't mean that you can take it home for yourself! I have had the exact same situation OP, we planted flowers in a very neglected little alley near our flat - someone decided to dig the plants out. Angry

Suppermummy02 · 03/12/2016 16:16

SpeakNoWords,
Honestly I dont see the big deal, wheres the harm. No one paid money, or put any effort into planting them.

MadHattersWineParty · 03/12/2016 16:17

You are missing the point, suppermummy.

JustCallMeKate · 03/12/2016 16:17

It never fails to amaze me the amount of people who think it's acceptable to pick flowers. It's something that really irritates me. We live very rurally and especially in spring and summer get a lot of families walking the fields and picnicking. We really don't mind as long as they take their rubbish home with them, don't feed my horses and don't go near a rather large pond that's on the land (it's dangerous and we have massive signs up stating this as well as fences and padlocked gates). I often walk up and round the pond with the dogs and have planted wild flower seed bombs around it over the years. You have to know where to walk to be safe as the ground is boggy and uneven. One slip and you'd be straight into an 8' deep pond that has ledges that go under the sides of it. The walk up to the pond is covered in bluebells in spring and it's beautiful. It's frightening the amount of people with todders and young children who negotiate the gates and fences, completely ignoring the warning signs all for a bunch of flowers!

Suppermummy02 · 03/12/2016 16:20

MadHattersWineParty , yes I might be, I am open to being educated. Whats the harm? To me its the same as taking home some sand from the beech, throwing a peddle into the lake, breaking a branch off a tree to play pooh sticks.

allegretto · 03/12/2016 16:20

No one paid money, or put any effort into planting them.

Where do you get that idea from? In any case, even if they were wild flowers, surely if you leave them everyone can enjoy them. What a selfish attitude.

SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 16:22

Well, suppermummy, anyone else walking after you won't be able to see them anymore. Bees and other insects won't be able take what they need from them. If everyone did it too, there would be no plants left at all. It teaches children they can destroy nature if they want to take something from it.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/12/2016 16:22

YANBU OP.

It's really twattish to pick flowers anywhere other than your own garden ( with the exception of daisies/dandelions)

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/12/2016 16:24

breaking a branch off a tree to play pooh sticks.

Shock You can't go around maiming trees FFS! Pick a stick off the ground Hmm

MadHattersWineParty · 03/12/2016 16:24

Suppermummy If everyone did it there'd be nothing left. They are for everybody to enjoy. They are wild and part of nature. They provide nectar for bees and other insects. If they are picked they don't magically grow up again overnight. Teaching your kid it's ok to just take/pick things because they're pretty or it's enjoyable is selfish and doesn't look at the bigger picture. It's an entitled, mean attitude, and thankfully seems to be the minority on this thread.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/12/2016 16:24

What flowers are blooming in December OP? I wouldn't mind some for my garden.

Suppermummy02 · 03/12/2016 16:29

SpeakNoWords, if there is one beautify flower I wouldn't pick it but if there are dozens then one wont be missed. There is a lot of flowers for bees to pollinate, me picking one will make no difference. Picking a flower does not destroy nature, anymore than eating meat does.

SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 16:33

Yeah, I don't eat meat either...

Your attitude of "it's just one", if applied by everyone, would mean no flowers left in the end. Plus it's destructive for no good reason. Look at nature and enjoy it, that's all.

allegretto · 03/12/2016 16:34

me picking one will make no difference

But a hundred people thinking like you make a big difference.