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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's not ok to pick the flowers

158 replies

GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 12:21

I live on a street that has trees dotted along the pavements. There is a tree immediately outside my house. Like some of the other residents on the street, I have planted flowers around the base of the tree. It looks lovely and I think helps to make the road look loved and cared for by the people that live there.

Just now I was tidying in my front living room and saw a woman with a little boy knelt down by the tree in front of my house. The boy started picking some of the flowers and then they started to walk off. I went to the door, said "excuse me, your son has just picked the flowers that I've planted". The woman said she was sorry but she didn't think they belonged to anyone, her son wanted to pick the flowers so she said he could.

I responded that surely she knew that someone would have planted them and asked why was she letting her son pick flowers that someone has taken the time to enjoy. She shrugged and said she lets her son pick flowers and again that she didn't think they were anyone's.

I think this is a really weird attitude. It's a small thing but in planting those flowers I've tried to make this little patch of land look nice, for anyone walking past to enjoy and it pisses me off that this woman is teaching her kid that it's ok to pick the flowers (no doubt to be dropped on the ground and forgotten about 2 minutes later).

BTW, I am well aware that this land doesn't belong to me, but in the same way that people hopefully wouldn't let their kids pick flowers from a park or some other public land where flowers have been planted for everyone's enjoyment, I don't think it's ok to do the same in this situation.

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 03/12/2016 16:34

But suppermummy what do you think would happen if everyone thought like you?

Thankfully they don't, you sound selfish and obnoxious. You do know nature has not been created purely for you and your children's entertainment, don't you?

NoahVale · 03/12/2016 16:36

totally wrong to pick flowers, even wild flowers shouldnt actually be picked.

ConferencePear · 03/12/2016 16:37

When I was living in France two women were prosecuted for picking flowers from around a local bike park. Like your woman, they said they thought they didn't belong to anybody.

NoahVale · 03/12/2016 16:37

what about the lovely bluebell woods. what happens if all who visited decided they wanted to pick the bluebells. ?

MrsHathaway · 03/12/2016 16:39

breaking a branch off a tree to play pooh sticks.

It's very similar to this, yes.

Whereas most people find a twig on the ground to play Poohsticks. And pick only daisies.

Katy07 · 03/12/2016 16:44

breaking off a branch to play poohsticks
There's a reason it's called poohsticks and not poohbranches or poohtrees you know!! Sticks = small bits that a tree or bush has discarded naturally. AA Milne didn't write about how Pooh took a saw down to Hundred Acre Wood to fell a tree for his game. I'm fairly sure that Pooh didn't get to drop litter or decimate the wild flowers either.

Salmotrutta · 03/12/2016 16:55

Nobody should be picking wild flowers because they are protected under the wildlife and countryside act aren't they?

And nobody should be picking planted flowers either just because they are on communal land.

I remember my mum and I coming across two women digging up bags and bags of snowdrops in one of our local woods once we were Shock and may have glared at them.

bumsexatthebingo · 03/12/2016 17:05

I let my kids pick dandelion clocks, buttercups, daisies etc that are just randomly growing on grass in the park but nothing else. I also let them take what I think a plant can spare so for eg I would let them have a leaf off a bush in the park I wouldn't let them pull loads off. Did the flowers look tended or is it possible the mum thought they hadn't been specifically planted by anyone?

SpeakNoWords · 03/12/2016 17:08

There's a picture that the OP posted (at 14:17) showing they are very tended, in a clear flower bed.

bumsexatthebingo · 03/12/2016 17:18

Ah ok they are clearly flowers and clearly there for display. If they are on the public road I think you may keep having this problem though op. Some parents don't care. I've even seen some parents letting kids pick flowers from people's front gardens on the school run. Any on the road wouldn't stand a chance!

Original poster
GiveMeShade · 03/12/2016 18:32

TinklyLittleLaugh they are winter pansies. I love them, they are so colourful. I bought a few more plants this afternoon and I'm going to plant them out around the tree tomorrow.

I also have snap dragons in my garden that are doing beautifully and cyclamen as well.

Thanks notrocketscience that's a lovely comment Smile.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 03/12/2016 18:38

Well no one could mistake winter pansies for weeds, or something that has just self seeded there could they?

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 03/12/2016 18:55

No picking of public flowers (except common grass weeds)

Winter pansies surrounding a tree are definitely cultivated at cost and effort to someone.

Picking flowers deprives others of the chance to enjoy them. They also wilt much quicker.

baconandeggies · 03/12/2016 19:11

YABU. If you plant flowers in the pavement then you have to expect for them to get picked once in a while. Think you're being a bit judgemental in assuming they'll be thoughtlessly discarded too. Worse things boys could do outside your house!

CaraAspen · 03/12/2016 19:12

OP:
Flowers at this time of year!? Wow. But anyway, no it is not acceptable to pick them although I always thought flowers planted in a communal area were planted there by the local council.

CaraAspen · 03/12/2016 19:14

It is not your actual garden, though, is it so I don't think you have a leg to stand on.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 03/12/2016 19:18

On the thread about the kid on the bus who 'shot' the OP, people were saying she shouldn't have addressed the child. Now people are saying that the OP of this thread shouldn't have said anything to the mother... Flowers

Bluetrews25 · 03/12/2016 19:31

I walk down a street like this on my way to work, and always really appreciate the effort that the residents have made. They are obviously not weeds for picking! Many times I have wanted to take off a seed head at the end of the season, so I could grow my own, but never do, as I feel it would be stealing or just 'wrong'.
YANBU, OP. And thank you for making the street a bit nicer.

LBOCS2 · 03/12/2016 19:44

My DC aren't allowed to pick public flowers (or indeed the ones in my garden) - except for Dandelions before they go to seed, to help my lawn! Although that did backfire spectacularly once when I told DD and her friend not to pick the tulips, they were ONLY allowed to pick the yellow flowers and they came back proudly brandishing two of the three yellow tulips which had grown in the garden...

Helsinkimorning · 04/12/2016 07:21

The housing association I work for got together volunteers from my office and we planted a couple of cherry trees and two hundred daffodil and tulip bulbs in a little communal area on one of our housing estates. In the spring when the bulbs flowered every single flower was picked. It was such a shame.

allegretto · 04/12/2016 08:08

It's really depressing how many people do not value something which has been done to benefit the whole community. We have a problem in our road with dog fouling (on pavements but also on the flower beds - they stink in the summer). We planted bulbs there and asked people not to let their dogs on it - one man said to me, I don't want flowers, I just want my dog to use it as a toilet.

suchafuss · 04/12/2016 08:16

Can't believe that some think OP is BU! I was always taught not to pick flowers (apart from daisies) and that they were there for everyone to enjoy. I think those who do or let their children are entitled twats!

InfiniteSheldon · 04/12/2016 08:20

yanbu she was rude selfish and is encouraging her dc to be the same

myoriginal3 · 04/12/2016 08:23

It's not your property to plant on or police. Confused

InfiniteSheldon · 04/12/2016 08:27

It's communal property the neighbourhood is improved and only an entitled twat would think it ok for her/his dc to pick flowers