To wonder if middle class families are ever referred to ss?

[malificent7]

It always seem to be the poor who are referred but middle class naice families can be abusive too.
My family was middle class but my mum had severe mental health issues which affected her parenting (a lot). I gave a few friends who had wealthy parents but were treated very badly.. aibu to wonder if wealth covers up bad situations?

A friend of mine was, middle class, huge house, money in the bank. The did nada, think if she was poir may have been different.

Schools refer quite a lot.
I agree with PP - money can cover a lot of issues and relieve a lot of the day to day stress that poor people have and which would contribute to a difficult life.

As someone whose part of my job involves working with (mainly) women who have SS involvment, I can say that all the women I've worked with have been working class. So I'd say it was more likely that you have SS involvement if you're working class, and an outrage. Like another poster said, she heard a woman who sounded MC saying appalling things to her daughter. DOubtful SS would have any long term involvment, sadly for the child.

Yes they are. A very mc family I know are involved with them. The mum has found it very helpful through some terrible times.

From conversations with a sw pal: the main route to referral seems to be previous social work involvement. So if you had social workers as a kid, social services will be interested in how you are "coping" with your own children.
Added to that: other professionals (nursery workers, health visitors, doctors) in poor areas seem to have child protection more to the forefront of their mind. It's something they expect to have to do. I live in a so called "deprived" area and, quite honestly, a whole load of social relationships are extremely awkward to navigate. How to you approach someone who has your child's best interests at heart, but is open to the possibility they might be best served with you out of the picture? With gratitude? Servility? Hostility?
I've settled for the surface impression of enthusiastic cooperation and the reality of keeping them an arms length away.

It's called Social Care and the wider team are normally called Family Support.

Thanks, Crow, genuinely did not know this.

Yes.

Why do you ask?

They are, as a school we have referred more middle class families, but for risk of physical harm rather than neglect

Of course they are. I know many.

For example there is an automatic trigger if there are children in the home and there has been an incident of domestic abuse.

Domestic violence spans all social classes so it's a bit naive to think ss don't get involved across the board.

(Only worked in safeguarding in a rather deprived area though, so we don't have many middle class families!)

Willyou

Domestic violence isn't always physical and as such doesn't always transgress any laws. Which educated people often know.

Sorry, I sound v curt there.

I meant, did you feel your or your friend's family ought to have been referred but weren't?

I suppose some better off families are better at covering abuse/neglect up and are less likely to come to the attention of SS. but yes, when issues become known they do get referred.

Don't forget social services aren't always a negative thing, they are there to help with issues that can happen to anyone regardless of class. That's if the funding is there but that's another thread.

Long long time ago now but my mother called social services because her beatings were getting out of hand. We weren't middle class but we had a nice home, ballet lessons etc.

SS apparently visited and said she was worrying too much, we were a nice family.

I like to think it'd be different now. But probably not. One of my DC had nervous tics and behaviour difficulties and I think these were undoubtedly related to home life.

No one at school has ever been concerned and I think that's because we present well as a family. (I couldn't call us middle class. Not sure how it's classified these days but I am currently penniless, unemployed in small house and zero pasttimes! Roll on 2017! )

Definitely , we had SS come to the house once or twice due to anonymous calls from neighbours etc because of shouting, crying that they heard. They were fucking useless. I went to the police in the end who were equally SHIT. That was 7 years ago. They are much much hotter on DV now. A great shame because my childhood was ruined by the services not intervening properly , I longed to be able to go and live in a children's home and on the odd occasion in my academic life that I was allowed to go to mainstream school , I dreaded the weekend and couldn't wait for Monday morning.

I did ask SS when they were interviewing both my father and I in my house , if they did try the hushed up approach to MC families as apposed to lower class situs and they said yes. All a case of net curtain twitching round where I was, but not a lot actually done about violence etc.
Miserable.

Yes once but when a baby broke a limb was a total accident but due to severity of injury triggered automatic referral. Was one of those unlucky could have happened to anyone thing, parents gentle academics. Ss were quickly satisfied it was an unlucky accident but parents were really shaken

Yes they are. We were due to mental health issues (I'm bipolar) post birth.

Their role was (according to the psychiatrist) to provide practical support. They were useless, obstructive and upsetting and seemed to want to be involved as little as we wanted them.

I know quite a few middle class families who have SS involvement but they all have a disabled child, usually with severe disability.

Yes, definitely! (From a teacher's perspective).

The main difference I have found is that the problems/signs are less easy to spot and getting evidence from colleagues is harder. Confident, articulate parents are able to cover up well.

I know someone very close who has had, and continues to have SS involvement. Owns two houses, professional job, earns 75k a year, previous victim of domestic violence and long time anorexia sufferer now into her 40s.

For instance my friends sister who was incredibly wealthy but suffering from MH issues post birth paid for 24 hour nannying and also had private therapy.

I do remember my old boss after taking yet another of his children to A&E say that if his wife wasn't a hospital consultant and he wasn't a professional he reckoned they would have been flagged up.

I can honestly say that as DH has Dr as his title, though not medical and the actual Dr wasn't to know during an A&E visit the actual medical Dr said it was nice meeting civilised people rather than the usual scum he had to deal with. I was far too ill at the time to really comprehend what was happening. But if you are articulate and confident I think you get treated differently sometimes.

Hell yes they are
Thinking about my current caseload, I have about 20% from waged families without financial issues. One of those families is loaded. I wouldn't like to say which social class the waged families belong to as they may feel they are working class but poverty is not a contributing factor.
Obviously the flip side is that poverty is a massive contributing factor in poor mental health, neglect, substance misuse and even DV (mother can't work out how to leave and feed her kids) so it's no surprise that the majority of referrals feature poverty as an issue.

We were referred a few years ago (ds's have Sn). Will always remember the social worker sitting on my sofa looking very perplexed and saying we don't normally get families like you (live in naice area and have PhD). I thought it was very odd at the time as to my knowledge middle classness does not protect you from having children with SN or from being abused (not that this was why we were referred).