Brother being overly loud with friends at 10pm....,,

[thinkimcrazy]

So I've come up to stay with my mum this weekend as it's her birthday tomorrow and she needs help at her shop today as she's short staffed so I had to come up last night in order to work today. Now I've come up with my DP and 5 month lb. my brother and his friends are 22 and were playing PlayStation. Come 9:50 I had txt him to say we were shattered my lb was asleep could they please keep the noise down, so we could go to bed. 5 mins later they're shouting again so I knock on his door and again ask them to please keep the noise down as we're trying to sleep and my lb was going to get woken up. 20 mins after that I start getting txt from him saying he's got his mates round and how this is his home and he doesn't moan when my lb wakes him up at the early hours of the morning. My mum was out at the time and when she got back I also got txt from her saying this is my brothers home he shouldn't have to be silent and if my little boy was tired he'd sleep through the noise (I think he downplayed how loud he actually was) I explained how loud he was being but she still insisted I was out of order. Even though he would never be that loud if she was in. We live 90 miles away so don't have anywhere else to stay but please tell me if IABU in texting him last night and going into his room just before 10pm asking him and his friends to keep the noise down? Sorry long winded post xx

We were actually ready for bed at 9pm but I didn't want to ask him to be a bit quieter before 10 and if I'm honest I actually would've thought he'd see the time and think "oh it's getting late baby will want to go to sleep"

I still think he's acting like a 15 year old even though I seem to be on the minority. He's 22! The op wasn't asking for silence, normal chatting etc would have been fine, it is the excessive noise she was asking to cut. At 22 he has many options for a Friday night. If he wants to be noisy he could go out, go to the pub, maybe one of his mates has his own place or a house without a small baby. It is just normal consideration of others and frankly I'd expect a 22 year old to manage that.

A 22 year old thinking 'it's 10pm the baby will want to sleep'?

Unless it's his baby it's not even going to cross his mind - especially at 10pm

At midnight you'd have had a point, but not at 10pm

Next time, stay at home

Sorry, but that's no one else's concern but yours. If he's teething and easily unsettled, don't go and stay in noisy places.

She didn't know it was going to be noisy in advance, did she?? She took the child to sleep in her mother's home, not a Justin Bieber concert.

I don't think what your brother was doing was particularly unreasonable for 10pm on a Friday night.

However, pregnant you travelled a long way with your baby to help out your mother; you are the only sibling who can assist your mother in this way; as he still stays at home, presumably your brother will benefit from his mother's business stating afloat so therefore it's in his own interests to help you help his mother.

It's a pity you didn't think to tape the volume of noise on your phone. But I suppose you couldn't predict your mother responding like that.

I would remember this incident the next time your mother asks you to help out.

What?!!!!! He's 22 not 15! Even then my mum had my DSis when I was 14 and I never had friends over late, helped out and yes got up early to help with the morning. And no it's not his house (unless his names on the deeds?) it's your mums house. I'm sorry OP it's hard work with a little baby and being pregnant then having your family turn on you, they should be making you feel welcome in their house all the best

Your mum should not have got involved. It seems to me this is more about sibling issues than anything else.

YWNBU to ask him to be a little quieter

Sibling issues also flourish when parents are partisan like your mum was.

I would guess this is part of a much bigger pattern of him being babied

Her mother's house? The OP didn't take the kids to a night club. How old are you? You sound like a sulky teenager

Well noisy, immature 22 year olds tend to be noisy, immature 22 year olds all the time, not just when their mummies are out!

I'm sorry, I didn't realise that the OP's brother was normally a quiet and considerate sort, she didn't make that clear. Most people are pretty constant in their levels of consideration, behaviours, interests.

Well the next time she wants you to come and stay and work in her shop for free, you know what to say . . .

"work in her shop for free,"

I think Op has already said that if she didn't need the money she would have gone home/not gone until today.

Brother is an inconsiderate arse.
Mum is ridiculous.
You are pregnant with a 5 month old and doing her a favour.

Next time don't go. Let your mum solve that problem herself.

If you're a hairdresser and you need some money, could you consider being a mobile hairdresser in your area? It's a great trade to have for flexible hours etc.

Well I won't lie baby woke up at 6:30, normally I panic trying to keep him quiet but I just thought, nah let it all out son since there was no consideration for him last night

Good for you

Brother is a selfish brat. Go home and tell mum you won't be back because of him. Her business is her problem.

Yanbu.

If a 22 year old can't let his own heavily pregnant sister and baby nephew have some quiet to sleep when she begs for it, no matter what time it is, he's being a dick.

They could easily have gone somewhere else at their age - it's not like he was 15 and they were stuck in one place.

Tell your mum to shove it next time!

"Hi think, just wondering if you wanted to come over to do some extra hours?"

"Oh no thanks, I think the priority needs to remain that bratbrother feels comfortable making as much noise as he wants, and that's not really compatible with a baby needing to sleep. His house after all isn't it. So I'll pass."

Brother is not 16 and presumably nor are his friends. If they want to make noise, go somewhere where it won't disturb other people in the house.

If DP has guests round, I wouldn't sit round with the TV on full because it's MY house.

No his name is definitely not on the deeds, to be honest it's pretty standard that if any arguments happen I'm to blame for some reason and if it's clear it's not my fault nothing gets said. (Not saying I'm an angel but when I'm in the wrong I will hold my hands up, hence asking on here cause if I really was then I would've said sorry)
Like I say when my mum is in which is all the time really he's never that loud. A pp had said I should've recorded it and I'm kicking myself as I really wish I had

No his other two friends drive as well so they could've very easily gone elsewhere

YWNBU.

And since your mother has coddled your brother and defended his selfish behavior when you are there to help your mother. I would make it clear you won't be doing it again. Let your brother and his friends help her in the shop. You're done.

I'd tell him to get fucked. If, as everyone is saying, it's his home rather than his Mum's then his exhausted pregnant sister and his young baby nephew are also his guests and a little consideration after a long drive and tiring life is not much to ask for.

He can either be quiet with his friends, not invite his mates round and spend time with his family or fuck off out of the house. I'd be really cross.

YANBU
Yes it is his house but would it have really put him out that much to keep the noise down for 1 night?
He has all the other nights to make as much noise as he wants.

I'm another YANBU

Decent people don't just spout "my house, my rules" only not his house he is a 22 year old man child living with his mummy they actually consider their guests and family members and put them first, especially when that is their pregnant sister and tiny nephew.

I'd be angry too.

I come up to them once maybe twice a month and they never come to me, I was so angry last night not so much for me but for my lb, but like I said I didn't make a massive effort to keep babies noise down at 6:30 this morning.

YANBU - you came up to do your mother a favour