Brother being overly loud with friends at 10pm....,,

[thinkimcrazy]

So I've come up to stay with my mum this weekend as it's her birthday tomorrow and she needs help at her shop today as she's short staffed so I had to come up last night in order to work today. Now I've come up with my DP and 5 month lb. my brother and his friends are 22 and were playing PlayStation. Come 9:50 I had txt him to say we were shattered my lb was asleep could they please keep the noise down, so we could go to bed. 5 mins later they're shouting again so I knock on his door and again ask them to please keep the noise down as we're trying to sleep and my lb was going to get woken up. 20 mins after that I start getting txt from him saying he's got his mates round and how this is his home and he doesn't moan when my lb wakes him up at the early hours of the morning. My mum was out at the time and when she got back I also got txt from her saying this is my brothers home he shouldn't have to be silent and if my little boy was tired he'd sleep through the noise (I think he downplayed how loud he actually was) I explained how loud he was being but she still insisted I was out of order. Even though he would never be that loud if she was in. We live 90 miles away so don't have anywhere else to stay but please tell me if IABU in texting him last night and going into his room just before 10pm asking him and his friends to keep the noise down? Sorry long winded post xx

I would have been so loud at 7am. I also would not be doing your mum a favour like this again.

Seriously!? You're doing your mum a favour and she's enabling him? Shove that. If he expects people to be considerate when he's having a lie in but won't turn the verbal volume down for just one night, then I would go home, birthday or not.

And he's 22 FFS! He doesn't need mummy to back him up every time he gets scolded. Was your mum down the school complaining about every imagined slight each week?

Well I won't lie baby woke up at 6:30, normally I panic trying to keep him quiet but I just thought, nah let it all out son since there was no consideration for him last night

I'm a bit gobsmacked by the responses you've got here, OP. You're staying over with a small baby. Even if it weren't to do your mum a favour, the normal, considerate thing to do would have been to moderate the noise a bit.

I'd do two things. First - not bother keeping the noise down in the morning, as he showed no consideration for you. Not extra noise, just don't bother to moderate the normal morning noise.

Second, next time your mum wants a favour I'd tell her you won't be able to help her out, as unfortunately it's too noisy in her house for the baby to stay a sleep and it's too disruptive for everyone. It's a pity that your brother isn't willing to moderate the noise a little, but as she's ok with it that's up to them. Unfortunately that means you're not able to stay.

YANBU
It's just common courtesy to show respect for people staying in your home especially when they have a small baby. I would be really cross if either of my sons (aged 16&18) behaved so rudely and inconsiderately. It's irrelevant whether you're there to help out or not. He should have gone out or to one of his mates' houses if he wanted to be noisy.

I don't think YABU and I'd be tempted to go home and leave her to it
After a bad night you will be tired. A little consideration wouldn't have gone amiss

My brother can't help he as it's a barber shop and only I'm qualified out of my sinlings they don't do that trade.

is this your problem?

Tell her you are too tired to help

I know which is the real tough thing for me cause we moved in April and I do struggle with home sick.
My point to both my mum and brother is that no chance would he be that loud at that time when my mum is there, which also makes me think he massively downplayed the noise he was making

If I didn't need the money I was on the verge of leaving last night to be honest

Whether he downplayed it or not wouldn't be the point for me. Your mums answer should've been 'she's a guest, she's doing me a favour and she's got a small baby- keep it down'

I'd bog off home

Think you are being a bit unreasonable tbh. It was only 10 pm. It was his house, he'd friends on. The baby waking up once was hardly that bad.

good grief, you are his sister with his nephews. Of course it's his house, but it would not kill him to be considerate. You can start a war and be as noisy as you please first thing in the morning, and then go home because you are too tired to help.

I don't think it's fine to make noise just because it's 10pm on a Friday night when you are a decent human being. People sound incredibly selfish and ill mannered, it's frightening. Do people really have no respect for a ill partner, a family member with a baby, a teenager studying for his exams because it's "their house". Pathetic.

YBIBAT- your brother is being a turd.

You're a guest who came up to do his mum a favour (after a very long drive!). Nuff said.

He's known for over a month that I'd be down this weekend for my mums birthday and his friends don't have people in their houses with babies so can't really see why they couldn't go there.

I'm sorry but why should my son be kept up cause it's Friday night? He's 5 months old and teething too.

How big is your mums mansion that you had to text? Could you not have knocked on the door and asked them face to face to keep the noise down?

(Hoiks bosom and sniffs in righteous indignation at modern world)

Unhoiks, as I see you did knock.

YABU to complain about the noise that another person is making in their own home when they have their friends round.

YANBU to not like the noise.

YANBU to go home.

I'm sorry but why should my son be kept up cause it's Friday night? He's 5 months old and teething too.

Sorry, but that's no one else's concern but yours. If he's teething and easily unsettled, don't go and stay in noisy places.

Whilst yes it is his home, you were a guest (a guest that was requested to be there in order to do the homeowner a favour!!) and it's not unreasonable to think that your brother should have been considerate of you and your baby and shut the hell up for one night!
YANBU.

Some bloody odd responses on here. The only reason that OP is there is because her Mum wants a favour from her. Yes her DB lives there, but for one night is it going to kill him to be considerate of noise, given that he had plenty of notice of OP being there? The needs of a 5 month old baby are going to trump a 22 y/o loudly gaming with his mates; why didn't he make plans to go round to one of their houses? Or is it because they have parents/relatives who wouldn't put up with the kind of noise that was being made?

Your Mum was BU. If you need the money then do the work today, but in future if she asks for a favour, feel free to say 'no'. Her shop = her responsibility to sort out staffing problems.

I txt first cause he would've been annoyed for saying it in front of his friends but then he ignored me and carried on.

Yousunkmybattleship- actually it's not normally noisy here but cause my mum was out he decided to take the piss and not give a shit his nephew was here even though it had been arrange for ages.

He's 22 and should be more considerate. If your mum needs help she should also be more considerate. I'd go home.

Sorry, but that's no one else's concern but yours. If he's teething and easily unsettled, don't go and stay in noisy places.

Her mother's house? The OP didn't take the kids to a night club. How old are you? You sound like a sulky teenager

My own kids learn early to respect guests staying in their home. Even at 2 yo, they tip toe and try to keep the noise down when friends and family are staying over and are sleeping. (not always successfully, but at least they try!).

I'd have gone home.

It's one night & you asked for some peace so that you could sleep.