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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nativity play is a waste of time...

235 replies

PointyJat · 02/12/2016 07:42

And the biggest parts are given to teachers favourites/those with pushy parents?

Ds is in year R and they've spent weeks preparing. He and his friend say they spend lots of time sitting in the hall watching the main parts 'practice'. Teacher has cancelled PE since half term for this 'practice'.

Only a few children have a big part, the rest are varying levels of nothing Grin ds is a 'villager' but doesn't even go on stage, he just sings the songs along with all of the others.

Nativity seems like a waste of time and a lot of waiting about, other than for a minority of pupils. I'd rather either all children got a part with a similar level of input, or they just stopped bothering with the play and did PE as usual. Aibu (and grumpy).

OP posts:
derxa · 04/12/2016 13:13

unlucky That play sounds unbelievably wanky. Sorry Grin

Mumzypopz · 04/12/2016 13:26

Unlucky83... unfortunately our school has had a few of those.....we had what I called the 'Maria' show in year 2 (the TA's daughter) and the 'Sophie' show in year 4....both were excruciating boring....and very sad for the other hundred odd kids who were supposed to be involved... but in reality were bored at the sidelines.

Fresta · 04/12/2016 13:37

At my school all children are included in the performance. I never said they weren't. Adjustments are made and children supported so they can all take part. However, adjustments don't include making all children equal so that those with genuine talent for performance are prevented from shining more than anyone else. Adjustments are made for more able children in performing arts just like the rest of the curriculum. They are stretched just like they would be in Maths or English.

Equal chances for everyone just wouldn't work in reality. Teachers try to adapt performances as much as possible so everyone is included and I know hours are spent rewriting scripts to create as may parts as possible. But at the end of the day we have to be realistic.

Similarly, all children take part in sports day, but it is competitive and those that win are rewarded, whilst those that try are rewarded for their efforts too. It would be wrong to pretend that everyone is equal in sporting talents though.

BaggyCheeks · 04/12/2016 13:42

I was never picked for main parts in school plays, I can't say it's damaged me. My strengths were academic, so why would they pick me for sports competitions or singing/drama solos? Where I got to do the "Baggy took part in the summer reading challenge" or being part of the quiz team, the "mary" of my year, who struggled academically got to shine with her talent for singing. But we all had the importance of the choir stressed to us, so we all knew that just because we didn't have solo lines, our contribution to the show was still important and valued.

Suppermummy02 · 04/12/2016 13:42

The play is for the parents. For 90% of the children its several boring wasted weeks of school that would be better spent doing something productive.

burgundyandgoldleaves · 04/12/2016 13:50

Exactly Supper

My DSs school did a play one year that involved the whole infants school. This meant most of them were singing in the "choir." As a result the audience couldn't fit properly. I had to stand at the back whilst six months pregnant. I was not thrilled Xmas Grin

jamdonut · 04/12/2016 13:51

I haven't read all the posts, but I did just read one about a parent who would rather her child was educated than filling a photo album ( or words to that effect)
For some children, the acting and singing and music-making is a big part of their education. My daughter, I'll admit it, was often chosen for main parts in plays, or singing solos, or playing in the orchestra. This is because she loved to do it. This is what she has followed through secondary school,(always being in school productions and orchestras and choirs) whilst also being 'academically' good. She did A levels which included Drama and Music. She is now doing a Music Degree at University.
There is no doubt that primary school was a big part of who she is and what she wants to become. Not everything is about 'acadamia'.

I do have memories...but as parents were not allowed to take photos, not too many of those.

burgundyandgoldleaves · 04/12/2016 13:53

I have no issue with children having music lessons (my child does) or singing lessons or drama lessons.

But several weeks prior to each December? Bit much. Plus the theatrical kids nearly always end up being theatrical anyway.

JassyRadlett · 04/12/2016 16:10

I have no issue with plays and the work that goes into them, as long as they're well chosen.

I do object to PE lessons being cancelled for the entire half term so they can get ready for the nativity. Rubbish message to send.

corythatwas · 04/12/2016 16:59

Why do people feel, or allow their children to feel, that singing in the chorus is a waste of time? Plenty of grown-ups sing in choirs or play in orchestras: is everything that doesn't involve a solo part pointless?

Mouseinahole · 04/12/2016 17:07

Last year was probably the last school Nativity I would attend. My youngest dgc is now in Y3 and only the KS1 children do the play. My dgc have been, sheep, 'child', King, Narrator and Joseph. No PTA members were involved 🙂
However my dh is Santa this year oh what fun we have :)

expatinscotland · 04/12/2016 17:18

I do object to PE lessons being cancelled for the entire half term so they can get ready for the nativity. Rubbish message to send.

Exactly!

And cory, those adults chose to audition for the choir or orchestra, they're not compelled to be there to swell the numbers. They also perform free-standing, too, you go to see a choir or orchestra.

It's a huge waste of time and they should allow those who don't want to take part to opt out and learn something. Everyone knows the Xmas story, the rest of it is just fluff. You don't gain confidence or any skills other than learning how to deal with tedium, perhaps, and how much it sucks when people force you to do something.

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meG0es · 04/12/2016 17:25

My DD is in year 6 at a primary school where only the infants do a nativity play (the juniors do a musical). She says watching the infants nativity is the best thing in the whole school year as they are so sweet.

MiddlingMum · 04/12/2016 17:59

My DCs are now undergraduates, but still remember and talk about the nativity play in Year One with great fondness. They both what might be called minor parts - third sheep from the left type of thing, but who cares?

The memory of doing it and the magic of being on stage will far outlast the issue of not doing pe or maths for a couple of weeks.

The teachers and other staff work so hard to make it happen. I think if you don't want your child to be involved, then say so in September, but don't expect any preferential treatment. In fact, it would probably help the school if you de-registered them and home schooled until January Grin

toffee1000 · 04/12/2016 20:40

Meh. I don't remember being in a nativity. Probably because I never had a starring role. It's changed now, but when I was that age the nativity was only for Nursery/Reception, whereas Years 1 and 2 did a sort of concert, where each class would do a song and a poem.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 04/12/2016 21:41

I think you need a little perspective about the whole favouritism thing. I don't think RADA students and Academy Award winners list their year 1 nativity as one of their greatest achievements. It's a nativity for tiny kids, a bit of tone deaf fun, don't take it so seriously.

MovedByFanciesThatAreCurled · 04/12/2016 21:51

This is ridiculous to be honest. If the play is done correctly then it doesn't matter how big the 'part' is. It teaches team work, encouragement, praise, sharing etc etc. I'm sorry for those of you whose children attend schools who obviously don;t get it right but I for one can't wait to attend my son's nativity and he has a princely sum of three lines in the whole thing.

corythatwas · 04/12/2016 22:15

My dd never had a proper "part" in the school play, but I'm very glad no Mumsnetters were around to tell her that she was wasting her time and not learning anything. She thought she was, and we thought she were, and that enjoyment of being in an ensemble has stayed with her and encouraged her to go on and do something with her love of drama. If she had been told she wouldn't be gaining any skills I am sure she wouldn't have gained any- as it was, I do believe she did.

hoopdeloop · 04/12/2016 22:32
  1. The nativity is the reason we celebrate Christmas- the birth of Jesus so to not do it is defeating the purpose
  2. As a teacher- There are only so many parts in whatever play is bought in or script. Therefore class size can impact on the distribution of parts Parts are given according to the confidence and willingness of the children. I would never pick a child for a big part if I knew they suffered from stage fright.

So yes you are being unreasonable

burgundyandgoldleaves · 04/12/2016 22:33

Your point one doesn't make sense!

corythatwas · 04/12/2016 22:34

sorry typo: "we thought she was"

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 04/12/2016 22:40

hoopdeloop, the Nativity is ONE of the reasons people celebrate Christnas, not the only one. Most people watching Infant nativity plays like the tradition of it, without actually believing it all literally happened. There are other things to celebrate without it all being pointless.

burgundyandgoldleaves · 04/12/2016 22:42

Even if you do believe it all happened, you really don't need to see four year olds deliver monosyllabic lines.

HeCantBeSerious · 04/12/2016 23:08

Hope you're not teaching at a non-faith school hoop

ittooshallpass · 04/12/2016 23:24

I think the concern is that it's the same kids up on stage. Every time.

Talking to DD and her peers they are well aware that they are overlooked and use words such as 'rubbish' about themselves.

I think it's really sad that this is the message they get from the Christmas play. Every year!

I will go along and cheer for every 2nd tree from the left. 😀