To not want to eat with my vegan friend again

[MerylPeril]

Rare (very rare) day off alone, vegan friend suggests meeting for lunch. To me this is a big treat to eat out.

So we go to a vegan/veggie place to accommodate her (even though I would have liked a big pub lunch). My diet is about 80-90% veggie now, previously total veggie

The menu didn't grab me much (and I do love veggie food) but there was a halloumi and mushroom burger and I luuurve halloumi....
Friend orders same, but just mushroom with vegan Mayo....

She then spends the entire meal telling me how I should have ordered the same as her, how much better it would be, shouldn't have I asked to if they had any vegan cheeses blah blah, how terrible dairy is, have I tried the alternatives...
Like we never talked about anything else

I can't think of anything worse than eating just a bloody grilled mushroom in a roll btw.

The thing is every conversation with her (and over time she's gotten worse) is about veganism and her obsession about converting me. Ironically she has the WORST diet of any adult I know. She also doesn't seem to have any real interest in food. She eats loads of fake meat products and eats little fruit/veg.

She's even lectured me before because we met up and I had tea and it had milk in it . It's exhausting, like a religious mania....

It's hard to meet up with people (we live a distance away from each other) where no food/drink is involved - how else do I ever see her...??

I'm hacked off and I bought a pasty after because I was still hungry! (She had gone!)

Did she pay for her meal with a new fiver?

Just tell her. No vegan talk please. I respect your choices, please respect mine. And move the conversation on to something more interesting.

Well to be fair that's nothing to do with being a vegan and everything to do with being a dick so no ywnbu to not go out again.

On the flip side as a previous vegi my experience was usually that it was everyone else bombarding me with questions and waving meat in my face when all I'd done is order my vege meal with zero mention of anything.

So don't make this a vegan thing as it's a people thing.

Do you actually want to see her again? I can't eat my dinner if someone's staring at it, either wanting to grab it or thinking I shouldn't be eating it.

She sounds bloody tedious.

South :o

Sorry - very flippant remark. I have vegan friends. They are nothing like this. Has she just moved from veg to vegan? Is she a close friend who you can actually say to stop to?

That would irritate me too. If she can't shut up and accept that you're an adult who can make her own food choices then I wouldn't eat with her either.

Pick 😂

Just wait until the new ten era come out. Her pockets will be dragging down with all the spare change.

She sounds bloody tedious.

Why are you friends with her?

I second everything Gileswithachainsaw said. No doubt someone who thinks they're hilarious will be along soon to say, "How do you know someone's a vegan? Give them 10 seconds and they'll tell you." But in reality it usually goes:

Non-vegan: "How come you asked for no mayo?"
Vegan: "I don't eat eggs. I'm vegan."
Non-vegan: "Oh. Why?"
Vegan: "Health/animal rights/whatever the answer is."
Non-vegan: twelve more questions in a row, including a joke about bacon
Non-vegan: logs on messageboard "Christ, vegans really go on about their diet don't they?"

Your friend's a dick. If she wasn't a vegan she'd still be a dick.

Don't eat with her again.

I have a dc the same age as my sil's. Despite living local to each other I never ever meet up with her because she preaches non-stop about parenting. It's so dull and patronising.

I'm amazed she mentioned her diet, vegans don't tend to do that

Just tell her to give it a rest. Some people don't realise that nobody is interested in their tub-thumping until they're told.

No - vegan for 15 years, she used to be okay but she's gotten worse.

It reminds me of a religious friend at uni who went through a total mania year where she tried to convert us (ha!) and mentioned God every chance she got - she did get over that at least

I keep hoping it's a phase. Has anyone ever been converted to anything by people boring them into it

And she was also going on about the bloody £5 note too....

Richard

You have nailed it..

Shock horror I still order the vegi option sometimes cos I actually like the Sound of it...

Cue a million questions about am I going vegi again how can you not want the bacon blah blah blah

ACTUALLY I FUCKING LOVE THE SOUND OF THE AND I REALLY WANT IT OK??!!!!!!

She just sounds tedious,- nothing to do with being Vegan. I have two vegan friends and many veggie ones and they are nothing like this.
I suspect she is just that kind of person, and could be a dick about anything.

Your friend's an idiot. It has nothing to do with her being vegan.

Next time go to a place of your choosing where you love the menu and that has meat dishes on the menu... then spend the whole meal lecturing her about how she should eat like you :D

I lost a friend like this years ago. She went from vegetarian to vegan and suddenly it was like she had found a strange food cult. She was a dick before she went vegan but I was much much nicer back then and put up with it.

The last straw was when we were going to meet up in the evening and she wanted me and a couple of other friends to brush our teeth before we met her in case "we had eaten meat during the day".

We told her very firmly where she could insert said toothbrush.

OP, I've just reread your OP, and to be honest, it seems to me that you are gearing this thread up for a bit of vegan bashing. Just saying..

She also doesn't seem to have any real interest in food. Thats it though! Its easy to be fussy with food if you aren't bothered about it.

We are big meat eaters and we lurrve our food - so could never be veggie or vegan, we would just miss our food too much.

My veggie friend just orders chips whenever she goes out

I'm mostly vegan and don't bang on about it, I think? But lots of people are interested and ask me questions more often than I'm comfortable with, really.

Definitely agree it's a personality thing rather than a specific vegan thing. Some of these diet restrictions are a mask for eating disorders, imo.

I would not lunch with her again, and her preachy attitude would be a dealbreaker. My friend is vegan, and she would absolutely never do this, in
fact her family are meat eaters, and she handles and cooks meat which she is fine with, just does not eat it or any animal products. She tells me that if people ask her, she will give advice if they want to become vegan, but will never tell people what to do, that is how it should be.

Richard is dead right.

I know one vegan who is a bore/actually rude about other people eating animal products. All the other people I know who are vegans – not bores, not rude.

Omnivores I know –can't WAIT to bash/joke about/put down vegans. And vegetarians. And me if I'm eating vegetables or using non-dairy milk or anything else 'suspect'.

No I'm not vegan bashing at all

But I think she shouldn't be lecturing about other diets when hers is so poor.
I have a friend who is an amazing veggie chef and I probably eat more veggie stuff because her stuff is inspiring (and tasty ).

Yeh. She's just a twat. I'm vegan but never mention anything about it or why I am vegan unless someone asks. Of course I'd love my friends to go vegan too, but it not my job to force/lecture them. Exactly as you've discovered, who wants to hang out with that person?!

I'll also eat wherever anyone else wants to go, there's always something I can cobble together to eat, most restaurants are very accommodating about switching things around. After all it's just one meal, I have enough fancy creative food at home, one meal of chips and salad won't kill me (though I've never actually had to resort to this)

YABU about the 'not interested in food' bit though. This is entirely irrelevant. Just cos someone excludes animals from their diet doesn't mean they suddenly have to become a salad lover.

Tell your friend you're not going to hang out with her if she's going to lecture you, you want to see her but don't want every meeting to be a vegan conversion session.