To not want to eat with my vegan friend again

[MerylPeril]

Rare (very rare) day off alone, vegan friend suggests meeting for lunch. To me this is a big treat to eat out.

So we go to a vegan/veggie place to accommodate her (even though I would have liked a big pub lunch). My diet is about 80-90% veggie now, previously total veggie

The menu didn't grab me much (and I do love veggie food) but there was a halloumi and mushroom burger and I luuurve halloumi....
Friend orders same, but just mushroom with vegan Mayo....

She then spends the entire meal telling me how I should have ordered the same as her, how much better it would be, shouldn't have I asked to if they had any vegan cheeses blah blah, how terrible dairy is, have I tried the alternatives...
Like we never talked about anything else

I can't think of anything worse than eating just a bloody grilled mushroom in a roll btw.

The thing is every conversation with her (and over time she's gotten worse) is about veganism and her obsession about converting me. Ironically she has the WORST diet of any adult I know. She also doesn't seem to have any real interest in food. She eats loads of fake meat products and eats little fruit/veg.

She's even lectured me before because we met up and I had tea and it had milk in it . It's exhausting, like a religious mania....

It's hard to meet up with people (we live a distance away from each other) where no food/drink is involved - how else do I ever see her...??

I'm hacked off and I bought a pasty after because I was still hungry! (She had gone!)

Meh, some people getting really excited about stuff and can't wait to tell everyone else how wonderful their new lifestyle is. Is she a fairly recent "convert"?

You could try saying "I love how we can both talk about the stuff we're passionate about. that's how i know you will really support me in my need to tell you all about how Jesus* has changed my life".

• could also be building model railways, train spotting or some other activity in which you know she has no interest.

She sounds like a dick. Most vegan people I know just want to get on with it and not draw attention to it. Like with anything, it's few preachy ones who give it a bad name! I wouldn't meet up with her for a while.

Or purchasers of Coke Zero are admitting that humans "should" drink Coca Cola. No, they just like the taste, but think the original article doesn't fit in with their lifestyle goals.

I do find it odd that vegans choose to eat meat substitute products. It's basically an admission that they know humans naturally should eat meat, so why deny it? And then they eat bread (contains insect fragments), take a bus without checking what tyres it uses (many tyres contain animal products), use a £5 note and so on.

Anyone else filling up their veggie/vegan bingo card? I've nearly got a full house from the thread

I don't really get all the angst OP. Just tell her that you just want to eat your food, that it's your choice, and that you don't want to discuss this every time you venture somewhere that serves food.

If she persists, then distance yourself, or meet up and do something other than eat.

I do find it odd that vegans choose to eat meat substitute products. It's basically an admission that they know humans naturally should eat meat, so why deny it?

No it isn't.

I think often it's because people find it hard to think beyond a certain 'make-up' of meal, IYSWIM – the mindset that there has to be a main component, which in some cuisines is meat, accompanied by veg/starch/sauces etc.

Also, I guess some people like the taste. And/or want the experience of having e.g. a hot dog, or a chilli made with mince, without eating meat.

Richard, you too?

I liked the conversation example you posted, btw. It's always how it goes, in my experience.

Ah yes Richard You can just tell the posters who love a thread like this, so they can get their little digs in. Very predictable.

I bloody wish the Bank of England hadn't publicised the fivers. It's going to be wall-to-wall vegans-are-hypocrites threads across the internet for WEEKS.

She's ridiculous! I often go for meals with family/friends and eat my houmous/whatever while they all crack on with steak.

DD2 and I are vegan.

We don't bang on about it. DH is happy to eat what we eat, DD1 likes meat, and I'm still happy to cook it for her. I even allow it to contaminate our fridge.

It's OUR choice, not hers, and I'm not going to force my beliefs and choices on anyone.

BTW, we buy meat subs because I've not yet found a decent recipe for meatballs, and we do love Swedish meatballs.

dump her for being tedious and ill-informed. Nothing to do with being a vegan.

life is too short for bores with closed minds and no interests apart from what they eat.

I've heard more omnibores demanding to know whether vegetarians or vegans wear leather shoes or sit on leather settees than I've heard lectures about my diet and habits from the other side.

And yes, now there are demands for vegans to boycott fivers or be exposed as hypocrites.

I haven't eaten meat for years now. I do eat fish and shell fish approx 1-2 times a week. The rest of the time I eat vegetarian meals.

I really don't get that many questions about it at all. Certainly not these days when it is much more common anyway. Maybe 15-20 years ago I got more, but to now. Do people really get that many questions? Maybe vegans I guess, but vegetarians - really?! I am genuinely surprised.

Likewise I have never felt the need to tell others what they should and should not eat nor try to extol the virtues and healthiness of eating x y and z, out cutting cuz out. Why would I need to? Its up to other people what they choose to eat.

OP - your friend does sound tedious. You don't sound OTT about not wanting to hear it, nor thinking that going out for food/drink is a normal way to socialise - for most people it still forms a fairly big part of social lives.

"I've heard more omnibores demanding to know whether vegetarians or vegans wear leather shoes or sit on leather settees than I've heard lectures about my diet and habits from the other side."

And the fucking "you're on an island with only a chicken" scenarios, "if you love animals why are you eating their food?" "there was a study that plants feel pain so you're being cruel by eating them" ad nauseam.

Hula when I was veggie the main comments I got were "but how do you get enough protein?" "are you anaemic?" "I could NEVER give up bacon do you miss bacon?"

Since becoming vegan I get probably 10x the shit, but it was still there when I was veggie.

Anyone else filling up their veggie/vegan bingo card? I've nearly got a full house from the thread

RichardBucket I'm an omnivore and I have a bingo card too. I find it fucking tedious so God knows what you think.

And the fucking "you're on an island with only a chicken" scenarios.

These people always excuse it by saying they are playing Devil's Advocate when what they are really doing is being an intensely irritating arsehole who is spoiling a pleasant office outing for everyone.

I eat meat. If you kill them, I'll eat the evidence.

limitedperiodonly Honestly, I mostly feel a sense of pity for the ones who think their joke (that isn't theirs and I've heard 1000 times) is hilarious, and I cringe on behalf of the hard of thinking (the tyres argument - though I have to admit, the insect-bread is a new one on me).

I think all of us with bingo cards should get some kind of prize when we get a full house. Maybe a burger (beef or soya )

There is veganism, and then there is Orthorexia - which seems to be rife right now.

I'm an omnivore and I have a bingo card too. I find it fucking tedious so God knows what you think

Yes to this.

These people always excuse it by saying they are playing Devil's Advocate when what they are really doing is being an intensely irritating arsehole who is spoiling a pleasant office outing for everyone.

I want this printed on a card and laminated

The people trying to catch me out piss me off. I would understand it if I went out of my way to convert- it would be as natural as my reaction to politicians preaching about 'family values'.

As it is, I have social interactions like this in the supermarket:

Fellow denizen of Tesco: don't you eat dairy?
Me: er, no?
Denizen:

Can I have a beef one with cheese Richard? We can have some wine and perhaps some irritant can pop up and ask if it's been clarified with isinglass and beam around the table like no one has ever said that before.

though I have to admit, the insect-bread is a new one on me).

Lucky you.

limited