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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fuming, raging, heartbroken....

408 replies

GinIsIn · 29/11/2016 08:30

It seems like this is used about everything now.

AIBU to wonder why nobody is ever just a bit miffed or slightly put out anymore?

And what happens to the fuming, heartbroken ragers who get so angry about an innocuous comment from a teacher or a sideways glance on public transport when something really bad happens? Do their heads actually explode?! Confused

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 01/12/2016 11:14

To be serious a moment in response to "If you describe someone as a narcissist it doesn't always mean something as strong as NPD". It actually should mean NPD. Because otherwise the words lose their meaning- like people using "depressed" to mean "a bit sad". And on Mumsnet, a narcissist" or even worse, a "narc" seems to mean "somebody I don't like very much"

Serious bit over. As you were.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 01/12/2016 11:19

Serious bit also. I have a mother with clear narcissistic tendencies who has not been diagnosed with NPD, in part because she won't see a doctor because she thinks there's nothing wrong with her. Doesn't mean she's made our lives any less difficult.

But yes the word is overused here, for people who are selfish pricks. it's more than that.

So I respectfully disagree Bertrand. There is no fumming involved though, or incandescence.

MerryMarigold · 01/12/2016 11:20

I think some of it is Americanism. They've been like this for years. They're always SO EXCIIIIIDID. (Actually kind of love that about them, but also blame them for bringing it here).

Thisjustinno · 01/12/2016 11:27

PDs are mental disorders and MH services do treat them all the time - my local complex psychological interventions team has over 50% people on their caseload with 'just' had a diagnosis of PD. We also have a service that works only with people with antisocial PD.

And a NPD isn't a diagnosis of exclusion - people with undiagnosed NPD still come into MH services but usually with drug and alcohol problems, querying ADHD/ASD etc so they're still seen within MH services even though they aren't presenting querying NPD (because it's vanishingly rare anyone with NPD ever think they have it!).

NPD isn't that common even in the prison population. My experience is most people in prison are victims of childhood trauma, abuse, neglect or have a neuro developmental disorder or head injury.

LumelaMme · 01/12/2016 15:09

Perhaps we need to set up a list of alternative, less hyperbolic words and phrases.
Raging: tetchy, a bit cross, slightly narked, irritated, irked, pissed off.
Distraught: rather upset, slightly sad, mildly unhappy, glum, miserable, not best pleased.
Etc.

MerryMarigold · 01/12/2016 15:30

Love that idea. My Dad's fav:
A bit miffed!

StorminaBcup · 01/12/2016 15:33

How about 'a bit naffed off'?

OpalTree · 01/12/2016 15:38

Ha ha at Distraught = not best pleased Grin

Thisjustinno · 01/12/2016 15:43

A little bit put out.

Scooby20 · 02/12/2016 06:47

My go to is 'a bit miffed'.

Sums it up well for me. I haven't felt enraged for ages

FurryLittleTwerp · 02/12/2016 07:15

I become Cheesed Off, or Rather Cheesed Off about things

Grin
BitOutOfPractice · 02/12/2016 07:30

I'm not sure if I feel disgruntled or discombobulated by this thread now

queenofthebucket · 02/12/2016 07:49

I havent read the whole thread [but Im tempted]. But I love "frothing" thats new to me and I'm going to adopt it.
I don't get out much

TentPegsAndWetWipes · 02/12/2016 10:33

It actually should mean NPD. Because otherwise the words lose their meaning
Describing someone as narcissistic or as a narcissist has been going on a lot longer than the very recent term in psychology of narcissistic personality disorder (a area of psychology that is still in the stage of r&d really). It comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus falling in love with his own reflection and turning to stone. Anyone who is a bit self-absorbed, vain, fancying them self to the point no one else measures up, ensuring they are the centre of attention at the expense of everyone else, is being narcissistic. The word has loads of uses outside the medical profession. ...

TentPegsAndWetWipes · 02/12/2016 10:50

thisjust I agree it is usually on the basis of drug and alcohol or some other issue they get referred. People with PD can be extremely high functioning and have no experience of MH services.

ChocolateForAll · 02/12/2016 11:20

I'll be off to spit feathers elsewhere, then....

Fuming, raging, heartbroken....
ScrambledSmegs · 02/12/2016 11:27

TentPegs - I thought he was lured to a pool of water by Nemesis, fell in love with his own reflection, couldn't tear himself away and subsequently died? No stone involved.

I agree with you re: narcissistic, but also NPD is bandied around too much on here. Lots of people don't get the distinction.

ScrambledSmegs · 02/12/2016 11:30

BTW today I am mildly irked by the traffic jams all over our small town. It'a a tad inconvenient that I'll have to go to the next town over to buy wrapping paper.

TentPegsAndWetWipes · 02/12/2016 12:00

ha ha scrambled I think I must have conflated it somewhere in my mind - maybe the Dali painting or something Blush

LumelaMme · 02/12/2016 12:00

Well, I'm not best pleased at how long it's taken me to work down a list of domestic admin. I've tried to do all of them, and been cheated of success by people not being in, appointments not being available, shops being shut and DH's paperwork not being as complete as he claimed.

A nice cup of tea might help.

TentPegsAndWetWipes · 02/12/2016 12:19

I agree with you re: narcissistic, but also NPD is bandied around too much on here. Lots of people don't get the distinction.
I agree, and in the spirit of the thread - I think it would be nice to reclaim language back from the whirly-hysterical-flouncy types and turn down the drama a few notches. Its okay to say "I'm feeling depressed" without being put on suicide watch.
But this is quite distinct to taking umbridge with the 'transphobia'etc dog-whistle to get the mods' to delete threads.

laziestsusan · 04/12/2016 09:29

I don't like well ard people. Since I started reading mumsnet I have been afraid to speak to anyone outside my house and office as everyone seems about to rip you a new one for the smallest thing.

Having said that, I have a 44 mile commute and if I'm not raging incandescently I'm asleep. I tut and roll my eyes till they bleed but it doesn't stop cars pulling out in front of me at speed then tootling along at 10mph slower than the speed limit, so I am usually screeching obscenities in discust until I'm sick. If my grown up kids hear me use words of more than 2 syllables they mock without mercy, so I've literally never been apopleptic yet, but I'm working up to it. Xmas Blush

Mumzypopz · 04/12/2016 09:50

My sister is apparently often 'delighted' when she hears good news....I picture her dancing through a field of wild flowers with the sun shining like in the old Timotei shampoo advert.....when in reality she's run down and depressed!!!!

Lolly49 · 04/12/2016 11:51

I am very angry at the moment as my house was broken into whilst I was at work.Came home to find my kitchen knives had been left around the house for them to use as an exit strategy.Only saving grace is daughter at uni and son came home late from college .I had bought a new wok on my way home from work and quite frankly I would not have rated the little darlings chances.
So I would describe myself at the moment as chronically pissed off.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/12/2016 13:17

Oh lolly how awful and frightening. I'm so sorry this has happened. Do you have done one there with you now?

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