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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I??

61 replies

AllergyNightmareBitch · 28/11/2016 20:14

Namechanged. "D"P moved in a few months back with three cats. I went to the doctors on Friday as I was wheezing, I was told I'm allergic to the cats. He gave me an inhaler, I'm not usually asthmatic but the cat allergy is making me so until the problem is dealt with. The doctor told me to keep them out of the bedroom and out of the living room for a few weeks and see if I feel better.

"D"P, being the kind, caring, considerate shoulder he is, sits in the same room, not far from me, STROKING one of the cats then holds his hand out and blows the loose hair everywhere! (near me). Then says to the cat, passive aggressively, "She's going to start moaning in a minute. I'm not allowed to stroke you these days". then when I do moan, he sits tutting and sighing and telling me I'm ridiculous. He also keeps leaving the bedroom door open too so they get in there. It seems he has no regard for my health but says it's me that's being a cow. Am I?

OP posts:
ThatStewie · 28/11/2016 20:16

No. he's being an asshole. And I say this as someone with 3 cars I'm deathly allergic too.

Mypurplecaravan · 28/11/2016 20:16

Childish git.

Does he care for you at all?

OohhThatsMe · 28/11/2016 20:18

OK well you let this horror move in - time for him to move out again. He's not even bloody house trained, is he?

HandbagCrazy · 28/11/2016 20:18

YANBU!! I don't know any solution to this but I would at the very least make it clear that this attitude was making me question his feelings for me and therefore whether this relationship was a keeper.

I am furious on your behalf Angry

yellowfrog · 28/11/2016 20:19

He's being a twat. If he's usually like this, I'd bin him

gamerchick · 28/11/2016 20:22

Time to move out maybe?

I'm allergic to our cat and it's a pain in the arse. Loads of antihistamines Angry it's important that she can't get in my bedroom or I wake up unable to breath properly I shudder at the thought of 3. He either gets with the compromise or he can move the fuck out.

happypoobum · 28/11/2016 20:23

Bin him.

OohhThatsMe · 28/11/2016 20:23

The solution is to get rid of him. This is the honeymoon period - this is as good as it gets. Doesn't bode well, does it?

GloGirl · 28/11/2016 20:26

LtB.

littlesallyracket · 28/11/2016 20:31

He is a colossal shitbag. I can understand why he'd be worried that his beloved cats might be a problem, but how the fuck is it your fault? How dare he act as if you're being difficult when you can't help your allergies?

Houseworkavoider · 28/11/2016 20:33

That is really bad.
I have 4(!) cats.
I love them to bits, but I would always shut them away from a visitor if they even sneezed because of them.
The lack of care for your wellbeing and comfort is shocking.

Soubriquet · 28/11/2016 20:34

If he can't respect your health, he has to go

And I say this as a wife with a husband who is allergic

Only difference being, his allergy could kill him

We have a cat. And we are hoping to get another in a couple of weeks. But we have strict rules such as must be long coated(he doesn't react to long coats) and the house is kept clean.

If God forbid, his allergies get that bad where it comes down to his health vs the cats, the cats will have to go

SaltyBitch · 28/11/2016 20:38

Move him out.

LindyHemming · 28/11/2016 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Niggit · 28/11/2016 20:43

In no way are YBU!!

That is completely unacceptable behaviour on his part. It's bad enough that he doesn't have any sympathy for your allergy to his pets - does he think you've developed asthma on purpose?? - but deliberately blowing the fur around and making snarky little comments is really nasty. I'm sorry, but I think you need to look very carefully at his attitude towards you. You've shown willing to try and adapt so he can live with you and keep his cats, but I don't see much evidence in your post of him meeting you halfway.

ummizoomi · 28/11/2016 20:45

Lol he moved into ur house with 4 cats?!!!! He needs to move the hell back out asap!

FinallyHere · 28/11/2016 20:47

Another vote for moving him out again. And be grateful to the cats for showing him in his true colours early on, when you can see that it really is him BU.

piglover · 28/11/2016 20:47

Definitely not OK. My partner is allergic to cats and when she moved in with me, we had a strict no cats in bedroom bedroom rule and also were able to hire a cleaner to cope with the fur from 6 cats. I took it extremely seriously, only to find as the years have gone on that the little furry tyrants have won her over to the extent that she is the one who let sthem into the bedroom them sleep there all day in spite of her allergies. Win-win for her and puddies, but if she ever changed her mind and decided that she couldn't manage them being there, I would be very firm about no more bedroom visits.

queenofthebucket · 28/11/2016 20:48

No you are are not, he is being a massive dick. it will probably only get worse. sack him.

And his cats

MrsMozart · 28/11/2016 20:50

Why would you stay with him when he has so little regard for you?

myfriendnigel · 28/11/2016 20:51

Well don't let the door hit him in the arse as he goes out...
He's being a colossal knobber.

carabos · 28/11/2016 20:52

Well at least now you know he doesn't like you very much...

autumnglow · 28/11/2016 20:53

Oh that relationships not going to last long !

LumelaMme · 28/11/2016 20:55

It's you vs the cats, isn't it?
The cats are winning.
The cats (and their minion) need to go.

Sweets101 · 28/11/2016 20:55

No yanbu. He's a that and needs to move out.
Seriously, LTB.

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