Am I??

[AllergyNightmareBitch]

Namechanged. "D"P moved in a few months back with three cats. I went to the doctors on Friday as I was wheezing, I was told I'm allergic to the cats. He gave me an inhaler, I'm not usually asthmatic but the cat allergy is making me so until the problem is dealt with. The doctor told me to keep them out of the bedroom and out of the living room for a few weeks and see if I feel better.

"D"P, being the kind, caring, considerate shoulder he is, sits in the same room, not far from me, STROKING one of the cats then holds his hand out and blows the loose hair everywhere! (near me). Then says to the cat, passive aggressively, "She's going to start moaning in a minute. I'm not allowed to stroke you these days". then when I do moan, he sits tutting and sighing and telling me I'm ridiculous. He also keeps leaving the bedroom door open too so they get in there. It seems he has no regard for my health but says it's me that's being a cow. Am I?

kick the fucker out!
Seriously, it doesn't sound like he even likes you

He needs to go, and take his cats with him.

YANBU at all

Did you know you were allergic before he and the cats moved in? Is this a new allergy or did you just recently find out that you were allergic

He is showing you how much you matter to him - take notice of that.
And it will only get worse.

Piglover, it's similar for us. DH is VERY allergic to cats. He has asthma. I took in a tiny orphaned 2 week old kitten once and in order to care for her she was allowed in the kitchen only (floor, not units) as my hubby didn't go in there as much as me. I was a stringent hand washer and my clothes were kept fur free. Over the last two years little kitty has manage to wrangle free roam of the house out of her daddy and has complete control of my husband. (He will sit on the floor just so he doesn't have to move her from her cosy sleep on his seat because he's so bloody soft on her!)
Thankfully the prolonged exposure has been beneficial as he is less allergic to her (other cats are hellish still) and just has to avoid touching his eyes.

However, if he did suddenly become badly allergic and his breathing was affected (and that he didn't want to take anti-allergy meds) then I'm afraid kitty would need to be given to a new mummy and daddy. I am animal mad but humans/marriages/children/family come first.

OP, I think it's time you ask your man to start looking for a new flat for him and his cats. Deliberately blowing cat hair at you, taking no care to help reduce your possibly life threatening breathing difficulties means he's a knob of the highest order.

So it's unanimous! Glad it's not me just being purposely awkward (like he makes out). I even told him I had to clean cat sick up during the night two nights ago when he was at work and he didn't seem the slightest bit bothered. I know it's not his fault the cat was sick all over my living room carpet but some sympathy/acknowledgement that it left me wheezy wouldn't have gone amiss! Instead I just got wrong for not having him a cup of tea ready when he walked through the door... (yes he is turning into a massive twat)

You know what you need to do with this future ex....move him and cats out. No point being with someone who cares that little about your health.

Start searching for suitable flats for him NOW. This doesn't bode well at all.

Sounds like the cats have done you a huge favour. Without the allergies it might have taken much longer to see his true colours.

Rehome him. :-)

Boot him out. This is supposed to be the honeymoon phase. Treat this as a narrow escape.

He's showing you loud and clear who he is, op - and it's not pretty! Listen to him - and then bin him! What a charming specimen. Not!!!!

Yep he sounds like a right wanker.

Red flags and klaxons are blaring

He has his foot in the door and now showing his true colours

Keep him to the curb before he gets too settled

YANBU and I say that as a crazy cat lady animal lover. Your partner is not showing any compassion or concern for your health. It's not even like you asked him to give up the cats, he is not willing to take basic measures like keeping them out of the bedroom to reduce the impact on you. He is clearly uncaring and unwilling to compromise. He deliberately blew cat hair towards you knowing you have an allergy that affects your breathing?! That's disgusting! That's just not the behaviour of someone who loves or even cares about you, sorry. LTB.

I'd love a cat but DH is allergic, so we don't have one. It's not ok to compromise a partner's health for your own enjoyment.

its not even about cats its about respect

the man doesnt respect u in your own bloody house

Ugh he's a twat. Get rid!

How lucky he's given you such clear early warning signals.

Where was he staying before he moved in with you?

YANBU - I love our cat but hate fluffy pillows and this is enough to for DH to respect that and help me to keep him out of the bedroom. He's taking the piss out of you!

The cats might be worth persisting with, doesn't sound like he is, though.

You can't live with cats. You can't live with a man who doesn't give a shit about your health. Happily, the cats go when you throw the man out.

Job done, you've found out nice and early that he's a twat.

oh and I'm a massive cat fan, had them (and dogs) growing up and really wanted a cat as a proper grown up of my own. Except I've married a man who's allergic to cats, so I have no cat and won't for my whole life.

But then I love DH and don't want him to feel ill all the time, so I can't have a bundle of fluffy loveliness.