Dog owners, am I being mean?

[IHeartKingThistle]

My parents have 2 dogs, quite recently acquired and much adored. They are besotted with them and the dogs make them really happy, which is great obviously. One is very placid, one is less so and barks, steals food etc. I've never had dogs and I struggle to understand them and I'm a bit nervous if I'm honest. DS has always been nervous of dogs but is much better now.

I'm hosting all my side of the family for NY- no one's local so everybody comes to stay

The complicating factor is the cat - we have an ancient cat who is very easily stressed. When stressed she poos and wees everywhere, wails all night and pulls her fur out. Because of this I have said no dogs in the house.

DM is now talking about only coming up for the meal on NYD because of this. She's not being difficult with me but I would be gutted if they didn't come to stay as usual because they put the dogs first. If I'm completely honest, I wouldn't be wild about the dogs coming if we didn't have the cat, but I would consider it. The cat is the deal breaker for me.

I know I don't understand what it's like to have a dog. Am I being mean to expect them to find arrangements for the dogs for 2 days? I don't want to make them unhappy but it'll just be a nightmare if the dogs come.

[madein1995]

If were going out in the car we take dog with us (warm xos of heater) and then take her where we go eg beach etc. If we leave her home its for 3 ish hours, house is warm, plenty of water, lots of toys etc so sbes happy. Ok to be left for short periods, not long days

[Laiste]

OP the bit you said about your parents previously hating dogs rings a bell for me.

My DM hated cats and we had dogs. The whole time i was growing up she would actively encourage our dogs to hate and go for cats too. (whole other thread i suspect) When i left home i got cats and she was quite disgusted. (Apart from anything else it meant she couldn't bring their snappy terrier to ours.)

Now in her 70s she's got a cat and plans her life around it. Leaves me a bit listening to how amazingly loving and funny puss is.

I echo the posters who say leave your parents to make their own decisions about their life and what ties them where. You can still visit them, there'll be no difference there. Sometimes your parents don't plan their lives around seeing their grand kids. Not being unkind. Mine were the same.