Leave House to brother or DCs

[HouseDilema]

I've name changed for this as I don't want to be identified, post may be a little vague because of that.

DH and I own 2 properties, one is a very nice House in a lovely area just outside of London, the other is a cottage by the beach that we rent out throughout the year.

I have a brother, who's 15 years my junior and who has ASD and DCs ranging from 15-25.

Until recently DH and I had our Will set up so that DB would inherit the cottage and DCs the family home to sell off and split, however we've now changed our minds for a number of reasons, including the governments current attitude towards the disabled.

We want to give DB our family home for the rest of his life, he's currently in his 30s with the mental age of an early teen, he can't live alone and he'll need care for the rest of his life. To fund the help that he will need, we have decided to keep the cottage for him as well so that he'll always have a income.

The new Will states that now we shall be leaving DB both properties and once he passes, the DCs can inherit both.

DH and I thought the best approach was to tell everyone and make our position very clear. It didn't go down very well, especially not with our eldest who's only 10 years younger then DB.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but I can see that their attitude really hurt DH. I understand the current housing climate but they are not the ones with the greater need.

The other funding comes from the rental income doesn't it? This will be managed by a solicitor.

What if there's a gap between tennants or it gets trashed and needs a refurb? the solicitor will still expect their management fee!

That was my thought angel. Unless the poster upthread was right about this being another DM fishing expedition, the legal advice OP has taken has been very poor. The two incredibly obvious issues here are upkeep responsibility and impact on state financial support. Any lawyer worth anything would raise them. I can just about believe they discussed property maintenance and OP just doesn't want to relay the details of that part particularly if she's expecting the DC to be in charge of it. But she's basically said the potential impact on benefits and services is new information to her. That, if true, is extremely worrying.

I agree with you Kurri, we are having to make extended provision for dd2 with ASD. In complete contrast to the poster who said they have not been advised to leave the family home, we have been.I have no faith in supported accommodation being provided and her being looked after

But the OP hasn't done this either
She's not leaving it to the DB outright, which would have some benefits, e.g. could be sold to buy him a suitable flat etc.

It's a shitty trust that leaves everyone tied to it whether it suits them or not until the DB dies

As much as it is lovely that you want to make sure your brother is secure in the event of your death, I think it's massively unreasonable to leave your DC neither of the house and DB get both. I would be so hurt if my parents did this.

Would it not be better to find DB a council house in the coming years and have things set up where the money from the sale of both properties pays for his care? Would your DC be happy to help care for your DB after you've basically cut them out of the will and passed everything on to him? I know you probably think they wouldn't take it out on him but I'm sure this whole thing will cut deeper than you are expecting.

How old are you and how much do you earn? Why can't you buy something now for your brother and keep your other assets intact for your children?

That was my thought angel. Unless the poster upthread was right about this being another DM fishing expedition, the legal advice OP has taken has been very poor. The two incredibly obvious issues here are upkeep responsibility and impact on state financial support. Any lawyer worth anything would raise them.

I am so glad you understand my POV. It is something we have researched, taken advice on, spent much time and money on as we, of course, want our son to be safe and happy after our death. I cannot believe that the legal advice given to the OP, and others, is to leave him the properties. I am feeling really emotional about this, not for the OP, not even for her disinherited children, but for her brother himself who is likely to face a dangerous future because of what is a loving gesture. I feel for him just so much should his sister go ahead with this.

I imagine there is a huge backstory to this decision. Several of us who have disabled family members and who have arranged wills and trusts have given our stories explaining what could go wrong with the OP's decision. It's neither kind to the OPs children (stepchildren?), nor potentially safe for her brother.

Your youngest child is only 15. So if they decide to go, they wold be at university of at least another 6 years perhaps more. Would you. It financially support them? You need to plan your wills as if you were going to die tomorrow.

God, YABU. Your poor kids. There family home, there safety net. I would be devastated.

One point I haven't seen on here is Where does your brother live now? Is he happy where he lives and is he cared for?

I have no idea what age you are but if you live for another 30 years he will obviously have a routine and home and will hopefully be happy. What if he doesn't want to move away from where he is? What if he is actually ok where he is? Would he be happy living in your house?

The OP has given such minimal info that I'm quite impressed at all the posters who feel able to comment on the quality of the legal advice she obtained. Can I borrow your crystal ball when you're done?

That was my thought angel. Unless the poster upthread was right about this being another DM fishing expedition, the legal advice OP has taken has been very poor. The two incredibly obvious issues here are upkeep responsibility and impact on state financial support. Any lawyer worth anything would raise them. I can just about believe they discussed property maintenance and OP just doesn't want to relay the details of that part particularly if she's expecting the DC to be in charge of it. But she's basically said the potential impact on benefits and services is new information to her. That, if true, is extremely worrying.

Perfectly put Josephinebloggs - there is nothing else to say. Thank you for putting into words what my emotional ramblings were trying to say. I hope the OP takes notice, and gets herself some better advice.

Oh yes - how will your brother pay the inheritance tax due?

I'm chronically ill. I cannot work. I was fine 10 years ago. My mother was thinking about disinheriting me in favour of my dd and nephew. She hasn't changed the will, yet. If she does, this isn't great for me. I'll have a very rich dd and much as I'm nowhere near destitute, I will never be very comfortably off without this money. And I'd be able to make the money work for my dd and use cash to look after me. Dh and I are slowly depleting saving as it stands today.

Another non-greed-motivated reason that I'ld be angry if I was on of your DCs is, have you made one of them the executor?

Being the executor is stressful, massively time consuming, and can even be expensive. Its totally out of order to make a non beneficiary the executor.

If you're paying someone to be the executor, where's that money going to come from? maybe the sale of one of the houses will need to be forced anyway?

I think that was me not josephine angel, but thanks!

To be clear, I'm not saying the setup is necessarily the wrong legal solution. Just that there's no way OP ought to have been able to get this far without the solicitor mentioning potential impact on state support. To be able to get as far as having drawn up the new will, and this be new information, that's astonishing.

Where does the DB live now? I don't understand the benefits of him living by himself in a 5 bed house unless OP is hoping that the children are going to take care of him.

Do you and your DH have separate wills? Does he inherit your portion if you go first?

Don't do such an awful thing to your brother. He will need people as well as money and unless you DCs are saints they will not be those people. Also at the moment your dcs may have good health and no thoughts of problems re supporting themselves, but what if that changes?

Do you have parents? Won't they be helping him in their Wills?

Is all the responsibility on you?

You said a few pages back you have received legal advice.

I'd question it, all of it. What you are saying makes no sense legally or otherwise. I would honestly get a second opinion. Sorry. It just doesn't sound right.

I don't know how anyone would consider this especially when you've got two properties and they could be divided fairly, people have made some valid points about disability benefits.

If I were you OP, I would contact MENCAP and check that you have been correctly advised by your Solicitor. They have a wills and trusts department who deal with this sort of thing all the time. Unless you sought advice from a Solicitor who specialises in this sort of thing, you may well have been mis-informed.

I have a disabled DD and a DS. Provision has been made for all assets to go into a Discretionary Trust if both DH & I pre-decease DD. DS will still inherit any assets left after his sister dies but the Trustees will also have powers to pay out for certain things from the Trust for DS's needs as well as DDs needs in accordance with out letter of wishes.

How are you thinking he'd fund the person living in to care 24/7?

There's no way a second house rental will be enough to fund him to live plus a live in carer (and potentially two if he really does need 24/7) even in the most expensive part of the country. If he owns two houses then there's no way it'll be funded for him.

I also think it's very hurtful on your dc. The younger ones may not have thought it through yet, as housing costs etc isn't something you think about at 15yo, but I suspect they will independently come to the same conclusion as your oldest.

I think that was me not josephine angel, but thanks!

Whoops....sorry Hyacinth - then it is you that I admire for summing up this difficult situation so well!!!!!

Surely your dh would not be able to afford the up keep and the council tax of a family sized property. It makes no sense for a single man to live a family sized house.

Dh has an uncle who lives in his mother's house. The house is surrounded by trees because he has done no gardening for 30 years. In fact the house is structurally dangerous because of the tree roots. I imagine that the house will have to be demolished when dh uncle dies. The garden is full of junk that this man has hoarded through out the years. The neighbours hate it.

Surely it would be better for him to have a flat with sheltered housing. It sounds like he needs a warden to look after him. If your brother needs a nursing home, how will it be paid for. Bare mind it's likely your brother will be an old man when he inherits.

I am not surprised your children are hurt.