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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that some people have no idea how to conduct themselves?

355 replies

Luckster · 23/11/2016 20:40

I'm fuming this evening. I'm a teacher and work long hours like lots of other people so I'm totally exhausted and may have overreacted slightly to this.
Background information - dh is a cub leader. Not the only leader, but one of a team and one of them ( not sure which one but fairly sure it isn't dh has organised a visit to an activity centre tomorrow.

Having my dinner this evening and a woman knocks on my door. I don't know her but recognise her as a parent if a cub and know she lives somewhere on the road behind me. I answer the door and she starts off saying what's happening tomorrow then? I could tell she was worked up but as I have nothing to do with cubs I have no idea what they are doing and told her so. She was getting note and more upset and asked if dh was in. When I said no she pretty much tried to barge in. Basically she hasn't seen an email about times for tomorrow, has no idea what is going on and was crying and getting hysterical by this stage saying over and over - but I'm a nurse - what am I supposed to do?

She was really over the top and most definitely unhinged and then started ranting about it being unacceptable. I pointed out there was nothing that I could do and all I could do was speak I dh when he got home and see if he knew. I pointed out that he also works long hours and is a volunteer so sometimes he may not email in a timely manner but he is doing his best. (I refer back to the fact that I am pretty certain it is not him organising this event). Anyway she ranted on and on (hysteria!) so I told her she was too emotional and needed to get her shit together. I also told her not to darken my door again with her screaming and ranting and promptly shut the door and went inside.

Seriously there was nothing j could do to help her. I appreciate its frustrating and she just wanted to get organised but to yell and scream at a volunteers wife because they have no idea what is happening is just unreasonable.

She's pretty lucky I didn't tell her to fuck right off as I'm pretty conversant with swear words! I feel I was quite restrained to me. God knows how she'll react if I see her in the street again in our small village. Oh my god, I am actually so wound up. Seriously who goes and knocks on someone's door randomly and act unhinged because you don't know what time you are supposed to be somewhere??!! People are bloody hard work!

OP posts:
Tartyflette · 24/11/2016 00:04

SFH -- the op has reiterated that she did not swear at her, she said she felt like swearing at her. Big difference.

DoNotGoSoftly · 24/11/2016 00:05

Its origin is obscure but is usually considered to be first attested to around 1475, although it may be considerably older.

1475 Shock Shock Shock

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/11/2016 00:06

So I take it he next time an angry man shows up at your doors wanting to knownonformation you don't have at hand, you'll lay the red carpet out?

What a ridiculous thread. Would anyone tell a bloke that he had to 'act with decorum in a village'

AskBasil · 24/11/2016 00:06

I now have visions of various random women up and down the country screaming at other women that the least they could have done was prepared a lamb tagine for them, not tried to fob them off with a miserly cup of tea, with not even an accompanying biscuit.

I'm a great fan of boundaries. I think women have the right to set their own boundaries about what interactions they are prepared to have with people who come to their door.

Tartyflette · 24/11/2016 00:07

Blimey, this thread is moving so fast -- apologies for the cross post.

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 00:10

No you can't ask a person to fuck off but you can tell a person to fuck off but in this case the OP didn't swear so leave the premises is adequate from the her point of view.
My reaction would have been totally different though

SuperFlyHigh · 24/11/2016 00:10

Donot my mum was a teacher in Sarf London don't you know where I was brought up so atcha is quite street and what I used to get by.

I was once bullied by a pupil at a school she taught at when said pupil attended same school as me when our secondary education started. My crime for being bullied was to have my mum as a teacher and I'd met this pupil on my days off. I had private education so longer holidays.

You remind me of that bully. Grin

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/11/2016 00:10

Really though tarty wanting to swear is just as bad as actually swearing when you're a teacher. I have a teacher friend who once accidentally showed her slip from the bottom of her ankle length skirt. She's now at HMP Holloway. Sad times

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 00:14

Im not a teacher but I do find all this fuckin funny Grin

TinselTwins · 24/11/2016 00:14

You remind me of that bully.

Just when I thought there was nothing left on this thread that SuperFly could possibly invert!

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/11/2016 00:18

Portia I hope you're not in a profession where having humour would be uncouth? Otherwise I shall be reporting you to your employer!

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 00:20

Sadly I'm self employed Grin

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 00:23

I work for a hated newspaper

DoNotGoSoftly · 24/11/2016 00:25

SuperFly....

Keep it up....I went to Harrow (did I bollocks) your source of education is of no interest.

Keep fanning the flames.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 24/11/2016 00:26

Portia if this thread ends up on the DM I know who to blame Wink

DoNotGoSoftly · 24/11/2016 00:26

Which one? Do tell.

Is it the DM or The Sun?

PortiaCastis · 24/11/2016 00:27

Grin. Grin. Grin.

DoNotGoSoftly · 24/11/2016 00:27

Cliffhanger!!

Manumission · 24/11/2016 00:30

Sadly the only safe thing to do if you find yourself in a 1:1 with an irrational person is to get out of the situation quickly. Especially if you need a clear DBS for your job.

chipmonkey · 24/11/2016 00:38

Only on MN are you expected to invite unhinged people in for cups of tea when they turn up on your doorstep ranting and raving.

Can I ask the people who are saying this; Do you all think this is acceptable behaviour? To turn up on the doorstep of a cubs leader demanding to speak to them and attempting to barge past their poor spouse and frighten their kids?

Who the hell has that level of entitlement?

FastWindow · 24/11/2016 00:55

tinsel spot on call. Invert, indeed.

chip i think i might have been clear on door stepping nutjobs. Just in case anyone cba to scroll back: if you would like to call on me and give me someone else's grief, be prepared for a big red door in your face. In a non physical way obv. Just optically.

purplefizz26 · 24/11/2016 01:11

Ha ha ha ha ha..... all these saints on MN who would supposedly leave their tea going cold, leave their kids to sort themselves out at bath/bedtime, make the woman a drink and sit down to counsel her.... a woman ranting and raving in your personal space about something of nothing that incidentally you know nothing about!

Get. A. Grip.

YANBU Atall OP.

BadLad · 24/11/2016 01:40

Only on MN are you expected to invite unhinged people in for cups of tea when they turn up on your doorstep ranting and raving.

Yep. I'm never wasting money in Starbucks again. If I'm out, and need a hot drink, I'll just ring doorbells and shout at the person who answers, until I get a mumsnetter, when I will apparently get a cup of tea for free.

Rachel0Greep · 24/11/2016 05:26

Yep. I'm never wasting money in Starbucks again. If I'm out, and need a hot drink, I'll just ring doorbells and shout at the person who answers, until I get a mumsnetter, when I will apparently get a cup of tea for free.

And if you are lucky they might share their covered dinner with you... Grin

OP, YANBU. In fact in the circumstances you were extremely reasonable.
Another here who is so uncouth as not to answer the door to random callers, and especially not during mealtimes.

insancerre · 24/11/2016 06:20

Badlad
It won't be a mner
They never open the door
😜

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