To think that some people have no idea how to conduct themselves?

[Luckster]

I'm fuming this evening. I'm a teacher and work long hours like lots of other people so I'm totally exhausted and may have overreacted slightly to this.
Background information - dh is a cub leader. Not the only leader, but one of a team and one of them ( not sure which one but fairly sure it isn't dh has organised a visit to an activity centre tomorrow.

Having my dinner this evening and a woman knocks on my door. I don't know her but recognise her as a parent if a cub and know she lives somewhere on the road behind me. I answer the door and she starts off saying what's happening tomorrow then? I could tell she was worked up but as I have nothing to do with cubs I have no idea what they are doing and told her so. She was getting note and more upset and asked if dh was in. When I said no she pretty much tried to barge in. Basically she hasn't seen an email about times for tomorrow, has no idea what is going on and was crying and getting hysterical by this stage saying over and over - but I'm a nurse - what am I supposed to do?

She was really over the top and most definitely unhinged and then started ranting about it being unacceptable. I pointed out there was nothing that I could do and all I could do was speak I dh when he got home and see if he knew. I pointed out that he also works long hours and is a volunteer so sometimes he may not email in a timely manner but he is doing his best. (I refer back to the fact that I am pretty certain it is not him organising this event). Anyway she ranted on and on (hysteria!) so I told her she was too emotional and needed to get her shit together. I also told her not to darken my door again with her screaming and ranting and promptly shut the door and went inside.

Seriously there was nothing j could do to help her. I appreciate its frustrating and she just wanted to get organised but to yell and scream at a volunteers wife because they have no idea what is happening is just unreasonable.

She's pretty lucky I didn't tell her to fuck right off as I'm pretty conversant with swear words! I feel I was quite restrained to me. God knows how she'll react if I see her in the street again in our small village. Oh my god, I am actually so wound up. Seriously who goes and knocks on someone's door randomly and act unhinged because you don't know what time you are supposed to be somewhere??!! People are bloody hard work!

Cherrychasingdotmuncher Wreck it Ralph

Aaaah i see we have another Ralph fan Moo my NN was between that and "BaronessBougerFace". It was a close call

Cherry - I'm not sure being a snob is the same as being a xenphobe!

...unless The North truly is a forrin land...

Did you offer her a creme egg?

I keep a basket of them by the front door just in case, right next to the basket of assorted sanpro.

Really your DH should've sorted the baskets out for you, be prepared and all that.

No one would scream and shout like that about schedules unless there was a MH issue, and. No that's not an excuse. Its a reason

Hate the use of 'hysterical'.
Do you know the origins of it?

Dear sweet Jesus's that's made my day. I like it even more now.

Did you offer her a creme egg?

I keep a basket of them by the front door just in case, right next to the basket of assorted sanpro.

Really your DH should've sorted the baskets out for you, be prepared and all that.

Rotten tomatoes or dog turds work better. I'm assuming you throw the cream eggs at anyone who knocks on your door.

No one would scream and shout like that about schedules unless there was a MH issue

So no one has ever just been angry or a bit of a wanker? Ever? There's always a MH issue when someone shouts?

I'm fucked then

Does anyone have the link to the hand dryer/creme egg thread? Could do with a giggle today

That should've been a grin face oops

Maybe OP's cold flippant indifference to the woman's plight caused the woman to break down. She was probably overworked and overtired (as a nurse) and might have just come off a long shift at work and then been told by her DC that there was an activity tmw, and she needed to find out the details asap to sort childcare.
She must've been desperate to come knocking at your door.
OP you sound horrible.

Maybe OP's cold flippant indifference to the woman's plight caused the woman to break down.

Oh please. If a shouting ranting person you didn't know showed up on your doorstep while your kids were in bed why should you show warmth to them? What would you have done exactly?

Christ it's like the Saintly Olympics round here, but saying the OP caused the woman a breakdown is hilarious!

This thread is batshit.

IRL if someone hammers on your door during dinner time and you open it to find a rather excitable stranger on the other side of it, who is intensely interested in arrangements you know nothing about, then I suspect that most people would probably be polite but firm - as the OP was - whilst privately thinking 'WTF?' - as the OP did.

However back in the wilder parts of MN, the correct thing to do was to cover your chicken casserole (being safe in the knowledge this was meal 3 from your 7 day chicken), answer the door, invite them in for a cup of tea. Also ensuring that any animals were shut outside and that the guest bathroom had plenty of sanpro available. Then sit quietly and listen to their tale of woe, responding with plenty of sympathy and then finishing things off by inviting them to accompany her to a spa day next week.

Maybe OP's cold flippant indifference to the woman's plight caused the woman to break down. She was probably overworked and overtired (as a nurse) and might have just come off a long shift at work and then been told by her DC that there was an activity tmw, and she needed to find out the details asap to sort childcare.
She must've been desperate to come knocking at your door.
OP you sound horrible.

Time for a coach trip to World Of Grips.
This is the barmiest thing I've ever read on here.

You're cold OP. Coooooooold I tells you. Clearly your coldness and thinking sweary thoughts means you unsuited to being a teacher-nurse and should immediately retire.

If nothing else, hopefully, the OP got a few laughs out of the thread , while she hung her head in shame, of course, at not rolling out the seven day chicken, the sanpro and the tea...

"Maybe OP's cold flippant indifference to the woman's plight caused the woman to break down. She was probably overworked and overtired (as a nurse) and might have just come off a long shift at work and then been told by her DC that there was an activity tmw, and she needed to find out the details asap to sort childcare"

I get this but I don't think OP is "horrible" just equally fed up and over stretched by competing demands. I am unable to comprehend the sneering at people who might have acted more generously and helpfully towards this woman who may have been a pushy so and so or alternatively who may be someone who was experiencing a crisis for a range of reasons.

I have no idea how I would have reacted and swearing in your mind is more than ok. Some posters however proudly show off that they would have told the woman to fuck off. TBH that is just really bad conflict management apart from poor manners and a rather unpleasant example for any children around.

Loads of people really struggle a little bit of forgiveness and understanding goes a long way. That doesn't mean offering the woman shanks of lamb and red wine or laying out the red carpet.

I can quite easily comprehend the 'sneering', on the basis that many of the posts have been quite critical of the OP for not being more generous/open/understanding/charitable etc. Whilst there have been a few posts which have genuinely opened up a debate, the majority have been nothing but a competition to see who can be the most accommodating and suggesting that OP is somehow lacking for not doing so.

Threads like this have a habit of turning into a ridiculous competition of one-upmanship as people race to illustrate how they would have done it better. Whereas in reality I suspect many would have reacted the way the OP did. I still can't see anything wrong with that BTW. She answered the door, politely explained it's nothing to do with her and she can't answer the questions, suggested they contact the person organising the shindig - which is not her DH - for answers to their questions - end of!

I would have been as horrified as you OP!! Like FFS, she's come knocking on your door and had a massive hysterical rant over something out if your control.

It's not MH issues, it's clearly utter rudeness and she is obviously stressed about something and took it all out on the OP!! Fecking sick of everything being a MH issue, no it's a rudeness issue... Some suggestions on here about what OP should have done are damn crazy!!

Maybe OP's cold flippant indifference to the woman's plight caused the woman to break down

Oh please, you come to my door,while my kids are inside and start shouting and raving and try to barge in, you should be grateful if "cold flippant indifference " is all you get.

This thread is bonkers. If someone came to my door and started shouting at me, I would close the door. And I'm a mild-mannered polite & compassionate person. But I also believe in manners & restraint.

In the world of Mumsnet, there's always an excuse for a behaviour. Doesn't matter what it is., or how vile it is.
Nobody is ever just an arsehole.It's like a parallel universe on here.
This thread has been very amusing though. I hope the Op has managed to to have a laugh.

llangennith what utter crap you speak. That lady and her so called problems are not the ops problem. If she has mh issues all the more reason to not let this woman in her house. Op hope you have moved on from this, and ignore some of the stupid posts on here making this your fault.