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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about snacks..

93 replies

TheRandomer · 23/11/2016 18:02

Picking DD (5years) up from school I was met by the teacher who informed me that DD had missed playtime due to taking another childs snack. All children have access to fruit from the school as a snack which my DD has.

Now obviously taking another childs food is wrong and this has been discussed with her and suitably disciplined. However am I AIBU to think the school should not br allowing sugary snacks? it is little wonder this could conflict with those eating fruit and healthier options.

Just asking for opinions before I speak to the teacher tomorrow!

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 23/11/2016 18:05

It doesn't matter what others bring, your dd shouldn't be taking property from another child

chickenowner · 23/11/2016 18:08

I know of children who are allowed extra snacks - things like breadsticks, yogurts, smoothies, etc, for health reasons. One child is underweight, one suffers from constipation. Maybe there's a issue like that here too?

DearMrDilkington · 23/11/2016 18:09

I agree with pixie.

Meadows76 · 23/11/2016 18:09

Bloody hell i have heard it all now. Your child and your child only is responsible for taking this food. Not the school for allowing snacks Biscuit

Champagneformyrealfriends · 23/11/2016 18:09

You're looking for a way to deflect from the fact that your child stole another child's snack. Just accept she did something wrong and discipline her accordingly-don't try and place the blame on somebody else's shoulders. There's no "yes, but..." here.

Sirzy · 23/11/2016 18:09

I'm surprised school don't have rules about it but as they don't I don't see how talking to teachers will help

chickenowner · 23/11/2016 18:09

...and the teacher probably won't discuss other children with you. Would you like your child to be discussed with other parents?

Original poster
TheRandomer · 23/11/2016 18:10

I acknowledged that in my post. But in terms of healthy snacks and reducing potential conflict and problems surrounding this issue was my question.

OP posts:
Meadows76 · 23/11/2016 18:10

And I can't believe you are going to speak to the teacher about it. Speak to your child about leaving other kids food alone. The teacher is gonna think you are a little bit highly strung if you go In with the thought that they should change policy to prevent your child from being a theif!!

NerrSnerr · 23/11/2016 18:10

It's your daughter's fault for taking someone else's food! Some parents allow different snacks to others, same as when out and about.

chickenowner · 23/11/2016 18:11

There is no conflict. You don't steal other people's food, it doesn't matter how nice it is!

likepeasandcarrots · 23/11/2016 18:12

Completely agree with pixie, it's matter less what other kids bring, be it a cereal bar, crisps or whatever, your dd shouldn't have taken it.
You ABU to try and deflect your dd's wrongdoing by trying to blame others for allowing 'unhealthy' snacks!

expatinscotland · 23/11/2016 18:12

Your child stole food from another and it's the school's fault? FFS. Shops shouldn't be selling chocolate because someone with no self-control might pinch it instead of buying fruit. You're responsible for your daughter's actions.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 23/11/2016 18:12

You're looking for a way to deflect from the fact that your child stole another child's snack. Just accept she did something wrong and discipline her accordingly-don't try and place the blame on somebody else's shoulders. There's no "yes, but..." here

This, with bells on! Your child is 5, not 2, so should know full well not to take other people's food!

Sirzy · 23/11/2016 18:13

So if a child has a nicer sandwich in the lunch box they may want that? Or a different drink? Or nicer shoes? Where do we draw the line in trying to justify things? Some children have things others don't. That's life

00100001 · 23/11/2016 18:13

You should have omitted the stealing in your OP.

You would have got the responses you were probably hoping for then.

Meadows76 · 23/11/2016 18:14

But in terms of healthy snacks and reducing potential conflict and problems surrounding this issue you only need be concerned about your own child's snacks. If other children have things that don't fit your healthy bill that's nothing to do with you. There is no conflict, just teach your child not to steal shit

Liiinoo · 23/11/2016 18:14

I did something very similar when I was 5 years old (50+ years ago). I always had a homemade coconut biscuit wrapped in a paper hankie for my 'lunch with milk' as we called in the good old days of free school milk. Helen X in my class already had Twiglets. Twiglets were exotic and unusual so one day I ate Helen's exotic snack and then tried to justify it by saying she could have my biscuit 'I was just sharing'. Neither my mum nor the teacher were in any way convinced by this and I wasn't allowed any biscuits for the rest of the week. It was made very clear to me that what I had done was wrong - it wasn't ok to take someone else's snack, no matter how alluring I found it. At no point (as far as I am aware) did my mum try and blame Helen's mum or the school for my misbehaviour. And neither should you OP.

likepeasandcarrots · 23/11/2016 18:16

And I can't believe you are going to speak to the teacher about it. Speak to your child about leaving other kids food alone. The teacher is gonna think you are a little bit highly strung if you go In with the thought that they should change policy to prevent your child from being a theif!!

100% THIS!

Original poster
TheRandomer · 23/11/2016 18:16

I was always under the impression schools promoted healthy eating so am suprised to hear of what snacks are being brought in. Hence I've never sent her in with anything like that n would always opt for a healthy snack. Of course DD is wrong for taking food. This is not shying away from that and it she has been spoken to and had privileges removed. She is sorry and knows what she did was wrong. But she would rather have a sugary marshmallow bar than an apple and is now asking for those items. Which I am reluctant to send her to school with...Sad

OP posts:
chickenowner · 23/11/2016 18:17

Parents blaming teachers and schools when their children misbehave is one of the reasons that teachers are leaving the profession in droves. It's exhausting, irritating and unfair.

fairgame84 · 23/11/2016 18:17

Yabu.
We have diabetic children in our school who have biscuits or fruit pastilles for medical reasons.
Your daughter needs to learn that she can't have somebody else's food.

expatinscotland · 23/11/2016 18:18

'But she would rather have a sugary marshmallow bar than an apple and is now asking for those items. Which I am reluctant to send her to school with...sad'

Yeah, well, that's your lookout as a parent. The rest of the world isn't there to make your life easier.

00100001 · 23/11/2016 18:18

And it is unusual for a primary school to allow sugary treats, but hey ho, its allowed there, so no big deal? it certainly doesn't explain why your child stole something. Its like saying

"My child stole a another student's ipad all children have access to school tablets, that are kindles.shes been told off and punished

However am I AIBU to think the school should not be allowing sugary snacks iPads? DD informs me some children bring iPad minis in and it is little wonder this could conflict with those that have a Kindles!"

likepeasandcarrots · 23/11/2016 18:18

So don't send her with them. It's entirely up to you, you don't have to do what she asks for. I also wouldn't send her with marshmallow type treats as she may well associate being allowed them because she stole one and that would teach her the wrong lesson.