To plan not to have a Christmas baby?

[XanaduBubbles]

My partner and I are going to start trying for our second in the new year, however I think that if we don't get pregnant right away (before February) we should wait until May to avoid having a Christmas / New Year baby, basically because I've known friends with birthdays around then and they always resent it (fewer presents, people forget, nothing to look forward to the rest of the year, total first world problems I know).

Aibu thinking like this? Am I just over thinking?

I can understand your reasoning op, it's perfectly fine to consider that some months may be better for having a baby than others. Of course it doesn't always come down to that kind of choice.

We did the same but for a couple of different reasons.

1, was because I didn't want to be up a lot feeding during the night in the depths of winter.

2, was the slightly more odd reason, stemming from my wierdness in these things, that we had close family birthdays in every month from March to November, except for June. So we aimed for then, & were so very lucky that it actually happened. Dd2 was due early July but arrived 3 weeks early!!

I don't think you're being unreasonable to avoid specific times. I tried to avoid having a due date of early september because my eldest has anxiety issues and going back to school is a huge thing for him - he'd need me there. Sometimes you have to try to do what's best for the family as a whole.

To add - there is no ideal time! My May and March babies have had to watch their friends passing their driving tests before they were even 17, go clubbing which they couldn't because they hadn't turned 18. The late May DD has her birthday right in the middle of exams. August niece has had difficulty with birthday parties as friends are away on holiday. DS in late November has all his pressies concentrated into a month, even though he isn't a December birthday.

I got pnd and having a baby in December made it worse I think, so cold & dark long nights. I planned my next baby in spring deliberately using the thing you spit on to tell if you're ovulating

@slottedspoon , much as I'd like to start now, I'm still on maternity leave at the minute and don't really want to go back to work already pregnant with the next one! Also I was pregnant last Christmas so want to enjoy having a few drinks this year. We're not in any rush :)

Ok fair enough.

YANBU. A lot of people do get pregnant quickly, and loads are able to manage their fertility, and they're for thinking about when your DC would be due if it all works out is logical! I don't get why some people think it's okay to plan a baby after a wedding / house / degree finishing / some other event, but not a particular time of year.

I would try to avoid a Christmas birthday, but would absolutely avoid a summer baby for reasons already stated up thread.

But then I've found it easy to get pregnant. If I didn't, I wouldn't give a toss.

YANBU My birthday is Christmas eve and it's crap, I've had 1 birthday party in my whole life and although DH knows it's more then his life's worth to forget my birthday, we never actually do anything for it as it just gets swallowed up by Christmas. I don't know what the issue is with August babies though. I would have thought that was good as it's the least possible nursery fees.

I have a December baby, and now I'm expecting a July one. Yeah, in an ideal world where I got pregnant at the drop of a hat and had eggs to spare (I'm 42) I suppose I'd have preferred Spring babies, but in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter.

You are being ridiculous. Sorry OP but you are. I was like you, and felt a bit worried when I found out my baby was due at Christmas, for all the same (ultimately trivial) reasons.

I lost that baby and now when I hear about people trying to 'avoid' Christmas babies I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I would take a healthy, live baby at any time of year. If the only thing you have to worry about is cherry-picking due dates then you don't know how lucky you are.

We got pregnant on honeymoon and hadn't even counted what month she'd be due. Having a Christmas baby is so special im due in 10 days and this is the most exciting christmas of my life I was due on 15 dec but having her on 1st for various reasons. I think when u are actually pregnant you won't care what month she is born you will just be so happy to be pregnant. My birthday is end november and my sisters is may I don't ever feel she has the better deal because her birthday is earlier in the year. I think the timing of pregnancy is up to fate, so if you are avoiding conceiving in several months then it may just take a lot longer but if you feel strongly about it then do what's right for you.

Two of my dc have birthdays in the school holidays, which is rubbish for party organisation as nobody is there. If you can avoid Christmas I would, personally.

I'm always astonished that some people get pregnant so easily that it's possible for them to plan this kind of thing. Lucky you!!

Capricorn because theyve only just turned four when they start school which is tough & puts them at a disadvantage (well boys anyway)

I have a Christmas "baby".

He's finds it exciting that his birthday is so close. It probably helps that his is slightly before rather than in the strange lull of Christmas/ New Year.

It's a pain planning double presents and there's not enough time to react to the birthday then buy for Christmas so he does have a high risk of duplicates.

Being earlier in the school year has worked in his favour as he needed more time to be school ready. DS2 is later in the year, but he'll be ready much sooner.

There isn't a perfect time really. August is the time that would concern me more, but that depends on the child.

DS1 came along on the first attempt before I'd wrapped my head around TTC. I was somewhat surprised at the success then worked out his EDD which was Christmas week. I wouldn't swap it though!

It was an odd Christmas as we had no idea whether I'd be home and overdue, in hospital or with baby- all even odds. We were home with a very young baby in the end, and our friends delivered Christmas dinner to us. Definitely a memorable break from our usual routines!

When we were ttc I was at first obsessed with getting pregnant before March so I wouldn't have a Christmas baby. Looking back I was naive to think I'd get pregnant so quickly.. baby is due 26th Dec! I am just so pleased that I'm pregnant and about to meet my baby that I no longer care what date it is born. So many people can't have children at all. I also think the birthday date is pretty irrelevant..I have three family members born on Christmas Day (what are the chances?) and we've always made a big thing about birthdays. The birthday is what you as a family make it - MIL's birthday is between Christmas and NYE, she goes on about how 'terrible' it is...I find it a little self centred when grown adults moan about things like this!

I have December children x2, I love it, December is my absolute favourite month. Plus they are never at school for their birthday as both fall in the holidays and we tend to have lots of family around making a fuss of them.

I hated that Christmas used to feel like a big build up then anti climax after a rushed day. It's the right balance for me now. That said any birthday could be special or rubbish based on your optimism levels! I know people that moan about the summer holidays as friends go on holiday, a friend that moans about Halloween (even though so many parties are going on that she can easily highjack, I think her birthday is so much fun!), I've heard moaning about Jan and Feb as they are depressing months apparently, and of course people avoiding having younger children in the school year. Too much pessimistic over thinking I think...

I remember my colleague saying don't have an August born boy...they always struggle at school being the youngest and a boy. I had an August born boy this August! I am not worried...my dh is an August baby and he is the cleverest man I know! It's lovely having a summer holidays baby. I say op do what you will but I would just go about it quietly! Nothing wrong with annibg but sometimes things don't go to plan!

It's not unreasonable to have a preference for what months you would like your baby to be born, although I think you do need to bear in mind that it's not something you can control completely.
Babies can turn up earlier than expected, be overdue, and of course, if you do have trouble TTC, it's probably going to seem a lot less important what month your baby's born in.

I'm pregnant now, due date is such that baby could arrive anytime between now and Christmas.
And while I can see the possible disadvantages to a birthday near Christmas, I'm a lot happier with this than I would be with an August due date - DS1 is an August baby (but premature, he was due in autumn), and he's had major problems at school, partly related to being immature for his year group, to the extent that his school put him back a year.

I thought like that maybe dip in and dip out of the ttc to try to get a preferred month. But really, once I got started I just wanted my baby, anytime would do. When March arrives I'll have 2 children with birthday's 4 days apart.

I'm a Christmas baby. Whilst Christmas is a torrid and horrid time of year for me I've never had an issue with my birthday being then.

My baby is due Christmas day

My now adult children were both born in December and they both have children of their own also born in December ! They have all always had separate gifts for Christmas and birthdays. The only thing I would say is that it's an expensive time !

My April baby was hospitalised with bronchiolitis at around 7 months old (Oct-Nov worst months for it) my December born had first cold earlier but gets over things much easier. The main thing about a December baby is that because you hit every season it feels like you're pregnant for a year.

There are advantages and disadvantages to any, I'm sure.

YANBU to make plans that suit you and your family and I'm sure you would never be crass enough to discuss this outside of that setting where you might encounter people struggling with primary or secondary infertility.

However, I agree with various pp that you may be unrealistic. It's my experience that people who try to micromanage and control pregnancy, childbirth and parenting are the people who find it the most difficult to cope when unexpected things happen and things are inevitably taken out of your control.

One acquaintance visibly shuddered when she heard of my August due date ('oh, bad planning on your part') and was very pleased that her carefully planned due date was some time later, in September. Her baby was born six weeks prem in a very scary series of circumstances that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Thankfully everyone is now healthy but she ended up with an August baby after all.

Another acquaintance was fixated on 'swaying the sex' of her baby and tried everything - diet, acupuncture, and a fortune on Chinese herbal treatments - to conceive a boy. It wasn't possible to determine the sex at her NHS anomaly scan so she paid for a private sexing scan. It wrongly identified that she was carrying a boy and when her daughter was born the shock badly affected her ability to bond with her baby in those precious early weeks.

Extreme examples both, but salutary; for your own wellbeing, accept that there is much beyond your control and for goodness sake don't discuss it with anyone!

I was originally due in May but miscarried, then DS was due in December but arrived in November - you can't always plan things. No harm in trying though.

DD was born at New Year which isn't a great time as it's so close to Christmas and the weather is dark and miserable, but at least she never has to go to school on her birthday. It wasn't ideal during pregnancy when I needed extra scans and the place was closed.