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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

But it's OUR drive...

482 replies

amammabear · 22/11/2016 12:11

Our drive is directly opposite the drive of the house opposite, it's a quite, dead end street so not much traffic. When I reverse off if, I turn as I do so that I'm facing the right way on the road and then off I go, the person who lives opposite however (in his perfect BMW with private plates...) doesn't do this. He instead reverses straight across the road, onto OUR drive, then drives off again.

Normally this only annoys me a little, but today, as I was reversing out of our garage I noticed he had his reverse logged on and then started moving so I stopped outside of the garage, on the drive. By the time I'd stopped, I noticed that he was fully back on his own drive. So because he saw I was going to be in his way, instead of reversing properly, onto the road instead of someone else's property, he went back out of reverse, and drove back on.

So being annoyed, I waited. And waited. And the insert name for irritating person here waited too. Eventually I had to leave, shaking my head at him, and watched in my mirrors as he priced he had been specifically waiting for our drive by reversing straight across as usual.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? It's our private property, that we have to pay to buy and maintain? I know it's quite a little thing and it doesn't usually bother me too much more than a minor irritation, but today it really infuriated me.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 24/11/2016 12:44

OP I didn't miss that comment

You said it would need resurfacing. You also quite clearly stated that it is worn where you park, where your NDN parks and the entrance bit, which you and your NDN drive over.

Now you are saying that the entrance bit is most worn and that you believe that BMW's turning wheels are the main cause of that damage.

Previously him using the drive was "quite a little thing" and "a minor irritation". Now he's causing all this damage.

so Hmm yourself

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 12:47

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BitOutOfPractice · 24/11/2016 13:00

Possibly Navy. And I get that it annoys her, though it wouldn't bother me. I'm just amused at the recent justification for that annoyance. Much better to just own it eh?

amammabear · 24/11/2016 13:00

I didn't mean to imply that he is causing most of the damage, just that is the area with the most.

Navyandwhite that is exactly what I've tried to say! The using it annoys me, but not enough to do anything about it, it's the brazenness of him waiting for me to leave.

OP posts:
amammabear · 24/11/2016 13:01

It's because that area has us, the ndn AND him using it that means it's the most worn.

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 13:03

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dowhatnow · 24/11/2016 13:33

I'd be a bit annoyed too - why can't he just ask or acknowledge that it's nice of you to allow it?

BitOutOfPractice · 24/11/2016 13:38

I think if you read your 11:09am post again OP that's exactly what you say. But OK

amammabear · 24/11/2016 13:51

I didn't mean it to be taken that way and I've clarified.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 15:00

I'm sure the OP will let you know when she's been over to see him Navy - no need to keep asking her.

And again - it doesn't matter why the OP doesn't want him to use it. It's her property, her choice, her decision.

amammabear · 24/11/2016 15:10

I've said before he's not the cheery friendly neighbour type, much as it irritated me, it's not worth risking a big argument.

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 15:15

Simplest thing seems to be park your car at the end of your driveway - he'll soon get the message (unless he's a knucklehead of the highest order obviously)

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 15:19

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SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 15:20

Oh don't be so silly - she'll tell you if and when she wants to.

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 15:22

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SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 15:26

You sound quite gleeful in your assertion there Navy. Repeat after me -

"It does not matter if she does or doesn't and actually it's really none of my business"

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 15:27

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SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 15:30

Excellent.

bumsexatthebingo · 24/11/2016 15:38

Late to the party here but I can't believe someone would be so petty as to be bothered by this. I don't drive btw but dh does and if one of our neighbours used the driveway to turn around I can honestly say it wouldn't even register. Maybe be glad that's the worst thing your neighbours do op?

SulphurMan · 24/11/2016 18:12

Okay, so you have actually let him know you were annoyed.

Do you speak to him any other times? Do you glare at each other in the pub at the residents association AGM? Do you peek out of the window and "tut" when he's washing his beemer for the 3rd time this week? Do you know his name? Do you wish he would move? Do you regret buying a house near to such ignoramuses?

You are not being unreasonable to be annoyed by someone like this. He assumes he can use your stuff without asking, and then he sits you out to do it again. It sounds to me as if he wanted to be annoying on that particular occasion - and succeeded.

I have a plan though. Find a completely different reason to talk to him. Get to know him a little. Borrow an egg. Deliver a leaflet. Ask for car-cleaning advice. Have a conversation. Then, when he least expects it, slip it into your conversation. Tell him you know it sounds weird but it really annoys you and could he stop doing it? Moan (in a jovial fashion) about how it's ruining your drive and would he like to contribute to the new surface? Then you'll see if he wants to completely trash your relationship for the sake of his precious bloody wheels.

I have to admit, if someone turns on my drive and I happen to be in the lounge waiting for it to happen I do stare at people. Usually they can't see me though.

Where we live I know all the people immediately around my house and I actively encourage them to annoy me let me know how I can help them out. I love them all, even the ones that moaned about our fence for 6 years until I replaced it.

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 18:18

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SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 18:24

Yep, all in good time - and Navy would know, she's been quite insistent that the OP tell her Wink

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 18:29

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SirChenjin · 24/11/2016 19:15

3 times in 24 hours (4 if you include your earlier rhetorical question). Panic not - I'm sure she tell us if/when she does Smile

NavyandWhite · 24/11/2016 19:22

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