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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

But it's OUR drive...

482 replies

amammabear · 22/11/2016 12:11

Our drive is directly opposite the drive of the house opposite, it's a quite, dead end street so not much traffic. When I reverse off if, I turn as I do so that I'm facing the right way on the road and then off I go, the person who lives opposite however (in his perfect BMW with private plates...) doesn't do this. He instead reverses straight across the road, onto OUR drive, then drives off again.

Normally this only annoys me a little, but today, as I was reversing out of our garage I noticed he had his reverse logged on and then started moving so I stopped outside of the garage, on the drive. By the time I'd stopped, I noticed that he was fully back on his own drive. So because he saw I was going to be in his way, instead of reversing properly, onto the road instead of someone else's property, he went back out of reverse, and drove back on.

So being annoyed, I waited. And waited. And the insert name for irritating person here waited too. Eventually I had to leave, shaking my head at him, and watched in my mirrors as he priced he had been specifically waiting for our drive by reversing straight across as usual.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? It's our private property, that we have to pay to buy and maintain? I know it's quite a little thing and it doesn't usually bother me too much more than a minor irritation, but today it really infuriated me.

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 23/11/2016 18:33

DO NOT GOOGLE PENGUIN BOLLARDS

The ads will plague your internet viewing for ages and ages....

cloudspotter · 23/11/2016 18:34

Forgot to say you're probably not being unreasonable from your perspective, but that won't matter from his perspective. He will almost certainly find a way to take offence anyway. Humans are amazing at justifying themselves, no matter where the blame lies. Grin

cloudspotter · 23/11/2016 18:36

Now GOOGLING PENGUIN BOLLARDS....

OlennasWimple · 23/11/2016 18:40

You were warned, cloudspotter...

nataliesalaman12 · 23/11/2016 18:41

It is hard to see why having someone reverse into your drive to get out would be a problem. But reversing into the drive could be the easy solution to this problem. Worth suggesting.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 23/11/2016 18:42

This would annoy me - the casual assumption that it is OK to use someone else's property without their consent.

Maybe it is because so many of us spend our days in busy, crowded places, where there is always someone that bit too close, so when we get home, we want to pull up the drawbridge and get a bit of space, both physical and mental - and someone doing this feels like having that last little bit of personal space invaded.

Vladi10 · 23/11/2016 18:44

It would annoy me, it's just plain cheeky really. I have people walking all over my front garden all the time and that's rude too!

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/11/2016 18:46

Witchend

The thing is that one of my old next door neighbours had the skip that they ordered put in my parking space as they "didn't want to use theirs".

For every "helpful" neighbour there is one being a dick.

llangennith · 23/11/2016 18:47

No help at all but I've really had a giggle at some of the comments on here Grin

tictactoad · 23/11/2016 18:56

Give the rude arse a bottle of wine and giggle winsomely at him? Really??

Save the ££ and put them towards a gate, OP.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 23/11/2016 18:57

I haven't RTFT but how long's he been doing it for? If a long time, he's reasonable to think you're ok with it, especially if you are friendly. Secondly maybe he has acquired legal rights of access?!!!

QOD · 23/11/2016 19:00

I moved 5 months ago and a foot path runs along the end/across the end of my front garden (house is sorta sideways) - I'm FURIOUS as since we moved in, not one fucker has cut across my lawn
I honestly thought they would and I was prepared to go and tell them off.. nope. Fuckers

I'm massively territorial- can't help it!!

ChickenVindaloo2 · 23/11/2016 19:04

QOD you can come and guard my garden if you like. I had to carefully grow a big fuck off prickly bush there and still the fuckers taking a short cut to tesco go through!!

anotherMNfantasist · 23/11/2016 19:05

That's outrageous QOD, it's like when I glare at someone and they smile back. I hate that.

MrsPoldark · 23/11/2016 19:06

Once had a cheeky ndn who had a drive big enough for 1 car, we had a bit of shared drive leading to ndn on other side & enough room for 4 cars. She told her dd to ride her bike on our drive as it was safer than the road. Only didn't tell us so I nearly reversed over her one day - nearly shit my pants. Felt dreadful until dh came home & put them right by suggesting that as they had more grass we could use their front lawn as a dog exercise area. Maybe you could engineer a "near miss" with the beemer

Alter · 23/11/2016 19:07

This would drive me bonkers, what a liberty, problem is, the more you let them see it bothers you, the more they will enjoy doing it. Yes something like bjns or bollards to make it awkward for them x

Leanin15yearsmaybe · 23/11/2016 19:22

This would really annoy me. Driveways are your property, I wouldn't expect someone to walk on my garden or into my house without an invite either. When I was working in the community, even when my visit was expected, I wouldn't park on a driveway until subsequently invited

PigletJohn · 23/11/2016 19:26

I have a skip outside today, I've put a flashing red bike lamp on the end.

They also clip onto wheelie bins, I just checked.

Woe betide anyone who reverses into it.

ChocChocPorridge · 23/11/2016 19:27

I know why it's annoying, but not really enough to start an issue over...

I have a neighbour (well.. we live in flats, but you know what I mean) who parks in a yellow cross hatched area when she's dropping something off at her house, which makes it awkward for me to reverse out of my parking space. Not impossible, just a bit of a pain, plus, of course she shouldn't be parking there. Not enough to mention or cause a rift about, but just enough to make me grit my teeth when I see her car there.

SulphurMan · 23/11/2016 19:34

I know why he is doing this.

He doesn't want to risk 'kerbing' his alloys.

He is not doing it to annoy you. Does that help in any way?

To be honest, I would talk to him about how much it annoys you if it really annoys you that much.

Then forget about it and get on with your life.

Millimat · 23/11/2016 19:41

op I'm totally worth you on this. It would drive me insane ( like the pun?!).
I'd definitely speak to your neighbour and get them on board to block the entrance.

HeyOverHere · 23/11/2016 19:52

Talk to him, if you haven't already. I have neck problems, and in the situation described, backing straight up into the neighbor's drive and then pulling out to drive normally would be much easier on my neck, and be less likely to set off problems. He might have a similar situation. (But still, he should have asked if it'd be okay if he did that on a regular basis.)

Or he might not realize it's rude to do, or be from someplace where it's quite normal to "borrow" the neighbor's drive to turn about. Or, heck, he could be having problems with his "perfect" BMW that makes his method work best for him.

Regardless, he really should ask if it's okay, but barring that, just have a neighborly chat. If you have concerns (kids, pets, landscaping) explain them. (If he says, "But you use your drive all the time," respond with, "Yes, but then if the flowers are run over, I've no one to blame but myself!")

BakeOffBiscuits · 23/11/2016 19:57

Yabu I don't understand how anyone can get so het up about someone spending 5 seconds in your driveway. It's not as if they've walked into the house and made themselves a cup of tea.

We live in a village in a single track lane, which is a dead end, there are 6 houses. Everyone of us APART from one, leaves our gates open to make it easier for people, dilevery drivers and visitors to turn around.

The miserable people always leaves their gates closed, they also never speak to anyone, so yes they are miserable and odd

SirChenjin · 23/11/2016 20:01

The OP doesn't live in a single track lane though - and the only person who is unfriendly in the street is Mr Beemer as per one of the OP's pp.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/11/2016 20:40

Yanbu

Totally understand

I get the odd delivery van doing the same and pisses me off

No reason for it. Learn to do 3 point turns in a road

In your case he is venturing onto your private property and would annoy me

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