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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

But it's OUR drive...

482 replies

amammabear · 22/11/2016 12:11

Our drive is directly opposite the drive of the house opposite, it's a quite, dead end street so not much traffic. When I reverse off if, I turn as I do so that I'm facing the right way on the road and then off I go, the person who lives opposite however (in his perfect BMW with private plates...) doesn't do this. He instead reverses straight across the road, onto OUR drive, then drives off again.

Normally this only annoys me a little, but today, as I was reversing out of our garage I noticed he had his reverse logged on and then started moving so I stopped outside of the garage, on the drive. By the time I'd stopped, I noticed that he was fully back on his own drive. So because he saw I was going to be in his way, instead of reversing properly, onto the road instead of someone else's property, he went back out of reverse, and drove back on.

So being annoyed, I waited. And waited. And the insert name for irritating person here waited too. Eventually I had to leave, shaking my head at him, and watched in my mirrors as he priced he had been specifically waiting for our drive by reversing straight across as usual.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? It's our private property, that we have to pay to buy and maintain? I know it's quite a little thing and it doesn't usually bother me too much more than a minor irritation, but today it really infuriated me.

OP posts:
HandsFaceTeeth · 23/11/2016 17:41

I'm really struggling to see your beef with this. You can't be serious about your having to "maintain" the drive - how long does he spend on your drive - - couple of seconds per day?

GreekGod · 23/11/2016 17:43

Install gates. We did this - only way it stopped. I love QuestionableMouse's comment - I didn't have the guts to accidentally drop screws, unfortunately, wish i could have done though

myfavouritecolourispurple · 23/11/2016 17:47

I would not dream of driving onto someone else's drive! Or reversing onto it. If I need to turn round in a road, I will execute the tightest, most awkward manoeuvre to avoid going into someone's driveway.

The OP's neighbour is mega-cheeky.

As someone else said though you should both be reversing in and driving out. Much safer.

Jaxhog · 23/11/2016 17:53

Once you ask him not to do it, he is trespassing. If he could reverse onto your drive at any time, this is a nuisance and is interfering with your enjoyment of your property.

(You could, of course, start reversing into his drive. He almost certainly won't like it, but things may escalate if you do.)

I'd ask him politely first, then get a moveable bollard if he persists. He if then runs into it - call the police.

emmaraw7 · 23/11/2016 17:57

Of course it matters! He's driving on to someone else's private property daily. It's just rude and he has no right to do it. People saying that he's doing no damage haven't got a clue and are obviously not homeowners themselves.

AldrinJustice · 23/11/2016 18:00

Unless they hit into something on your property, don't see the issue. I doubt they would if they value their car. But YABU it's not that big of a deal. Do block the drive for a bit of fun though, it would cheer you up watching him struggle in the morning to get out

Chinlo · 23/11/2016 18:02

People saying that he's doing no damage haven't got a clue and are obviously not homeowners themselves.

Are you joking? Our house has a drive. Me and my family have been driving multiple cars on and off it multiple times a day for 25 years, and we've never spent any money on "maintaining it".

It's amazing the things that some people will get angry about.

Livelovebehappy · 23/11/2016 18:06

I had this problem as lived near a school and cars were always reversing up my drive. I got a chain and two stakes. Took a handy man an hour to put stakes each side of my drive, a hook on each one, and just had a white chain accross it which I could easily remove when I needed to get in and out. It's cheaper than getting a gate fitted and worked very well.

anotherMNfantasist · 23/11/2016 18:08

People saying that he's doing no damage haven't got a clue and are obviously not homeowners themselves.

Yeah, you rental loser types. Hmm

boodlesandpoodles · 23/11/2016 18:08

It would drive me nuts OP and those who say it wouldn't bother them. Hmmmm. I have three children they often swarm out onto my drive I would hate to feel that they were essentially on a public highway... a drive should be a safe place for them to get in and out of the car, play ball etc etc... I would totally park my car at the end of the drive as suggested. Good luck!

Goingtobeawesome · 23/11/2016 18:15

I thought of this thread when I watched a man driving a BMW do several dangerous and inexplicable manoeuvres across three lanes this morning.

BratFarrarsPony · 23/11/2016 18:17

boodles has a point actually.
It is not a public highway after all.
There was a house opposite the post office in our village that got sick of everyone using their driveway to reverse and they put a chain across.
Or just ask him not to, as it is only one person that is doing it.

CathyM1966 · 23/11/2016 18:20

It's not only an irritation, it's a dangerous practice too. My mother in law was run over by her neighbour who reversed straight into her because he was just as selfish and stupid. She was close to death and spent 6 months in hospital. She was walking across her drive at the time. When my kids were little, the end of the drive was their boundary so they could play as far as there. Thankfully we didn't have to watch out for a neighbour like yours. Have a word with him, he's bang out of order.

jimjamspam · 23/11/2016 18:21

Honestly cannot believe how many people would be upset by this. Really?

Mind you I drive a BMW but I am a homeowner so not sure how qualified I am to comment.

Mind you I've never spent a penny maintaining my driveway either as I live in a parallel universe where it's a piece of concrete I park my car on.

CookieTramp · 23/11/2016 18:21

I completely understand that it is annoying, and I would have all kinds of actions running through my head. BUT... do you watch the programme Nightmare Neighbours? Please don't get into a tit-for-tat thing, or start staking your territory with wheelie bins.

I have had a nightmare neighbour - which went on for 2 years. Police, solicitors letters, shouting abuse (her not me!). It is awful and you don't want to go there. Keep your eyes on the bigger picture, however galling it is.

I would do this. Knock and be all self-deprecating about how silly it is of you to care about such a little thing, but you would really rather he didn't reverse onto your drive. Take a bottle of wine. Keep things as nice as you can.

GnomeDePlume · 23/11/2016 18:22

This is the sort of thing which really annoys me.

Then I remind myself that, actually, it doesnt matter. It isnt like my neighbour is coming into my house. So I give myself a shake and get on with my life.

lovelyredshoes · 23/11/2016 18:23

I feel your pain. I have a neighbour who does this. We live on a one way 'naice' rural track and there is a huge turning square, yet they still use our driveway to nose into before reversing to face the right direction. As I'm always drying my hair/ doing make-up in the front bedroom window of a morning, they have seen me in various states of disarray and yet still do it 7am on the dot every morning. I had hoped it would embarrass them into stopping...but no. They're lovely people as well, just completely thoughtless. I'm thinking of gates, but I suspect the people in the road would think I'm being anal as it involves reinstating a boundary.

SuperFlyHigh · 23/11/2016 18:23

I can see how it's annoying but talk to him first.

If that doesn't work then send the big guns in, either gates, chain, or penguin bollard.

HateMrTumble · 23/11/2016 18:24

BMW drivers for you.. just ask him to stop?

MerryMarigold · 23/11/2016 18:26

I do this quite often. But under different circumstances. I can usually turn appropriately, but sometimes there is a car parked right behind me and it means I have to drive over the neighbour's drive a little bit. I am now wondering if they hate me Blush. They are the types to be honest.

Myl0w · 23/11/2016 18:27

I know it's a first world problem but totally agree with you. I would be annoyed. As for speaking to them I tried to do the neighbourly thing in a similar situation (daughter keeps leaving her car in front if our house) and nothing happened so now it's far more obvious that we're being petty when and where we park. It becomes the 'elephant in the room'

Bluebeck · 23/11/2016 18:29

This would drive me nuts!

Agree with PP - speak to your nice neighbour and explain you will have to have a chain put across. If he still has the fucking audacity to get out of his car and move your chain you will have to electrify it Grin

Craigie · 23/11/2016 18:29

Buy a gate.

jimjamspam · 23/11/2016 18:31

I couldn't give a shit about driveways but I'm really upset that I used "mind you" twice in one post.
My sincere apologies Flowers

cloudspotter · 23/11/2016 18:32

Your neighbour might just never have given it a second thought. And I agree about not provoking any dispute with a neighbour. We were in a neighbour dispute once, and it was sheer hell. It completely takes over your life, you can't be in your own house or walk our of your front door without stress.

Even if someone is being really out of order, I'd walk over hot coals to avoid a dispute now.....

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