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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

But it's OUR drive...

482 replies

amammabear · 22/11/2016 12:11

Our drive is directly opposite the drive of the house opposite, it's a quite, dead end street so not much traffic. When I reverse off if, I turn as I do so that I'm facing the right way on the road and then off I go, the person who lives opposite however (in his perfect BMW with private plates...) doesn't do this. He instead reverses straight across the road, onto OUR drive, then drives off again.

Normally this only annoys me a little, but today, as I was reversing out of our garage I noticed he had his reverse logged on and then started moving so I stopped outside of the garage, on the drive. By the time I'd stopped, I noticed that he was fully back on his own drive. So because he saw I was going to be in his way, instead of reversing properly, onto the road instead of someone else's property, he went back out of reverse, and drove back on.

So being annoyed, I waited. And waited. And the insert name for irritating person here waited too. Eventually I had to leave, shaking my head at him, and watched in my mirrors as he priced he had been specifically waiting for our drive by reversing straight across as usual.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? It's our private property, that we have to pay to buy and maintain? I know it's quite a little thing and it doesn't usually bother me too much more than a minor irritation, but today it really infuriated me.

OP posts:
Galdos · 22/11/2016 17:45

Seems a small thing to get so het up about and freeze any neighbourliness. Why not ask him nicely if he'd mind not doing it because ... your cat/child/shopping could be on the driveway, and he surely wouldn't want anything to happen. He may have a reasonable reason for doing it, and may be happy to engage in a civilized conversation about it. By all means move to DefCon 3 if he isn't, but not before...

And I agree that his moving back on to his drive suggests (to me) more that he was happy to wait for you to leave first, and he didn't want to be in your way. So quite possibly he is a reasonable type?

itsbetterthanabox · 22/11/2016 17:47

Is this serious? Why do you care? He's not blocking you. He's trying to turn in the safest easiest way. I think you need to relax.

chaoticmum2b · 22/11/2016 17:48

Oh and, whereas before my husband could swing forwards one foot into his drive, he now reverses out. So it's probably potentially more dangerous. I now know why some people have those down-turned mouths later in life!!

MrTCakes · 22/11/2016 18:23

This would piss me off too op.

AcrossthePond55 · 22/11/2016 18:30

So how much of this is really 'because it's mine' and how much of it is because he's not really very neighbourly in comparison to your other neighbours? If he brought round cake or took in your packages would you still feel the same way?

ChestyNutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 22/11/2016 18:56

This would piss me off too OP. As does the TWAT at work who keeps using my desk when I'm not in the office and leaving MY chair too high

(Severe PMT disclaimer)

zombiesarecoming · 22/11/2016 19:09

Think in your position I would go for remote control gates

No inconvenience for yourself having to move cones or chains and neighbour who has right of access across it could also have a remote

Press button when you want to reverse off and press it again to close gates once you are off the drive and they shut again, bellend BMW driver can sit there all day waiting and they won't move for him

TheCatsMother99 · 22/11/2016 19:12

I get annoyed about stuff like this too. I live on a private road and one of the neighbouring houses (not in my road) regularly park their cars in our road (or our visitor parking spaces -but that's another matter) because it's easier for them than parking on their own drive or the main road. I know technically they're doing no harm but it annoys me as it's just lazy and sometimes does make it a squeeze to get through when they park badly.

Anywhooo, my suggestion is to get some of those wicker reindeer that light up or a santa-gnome and put it at the front of your driveway to stop the BMW from using your drive without having to move these. 'Tis nearly christmas anyway!! Haha!

amammabear · 22/11/2016 21:00

Acrossthepond to be honest, if he was a friend it would be different, he's a stranger.

I think it's interesting how much of a split there is here!

OP posts:
BiscuitMillionaire · 22/11/2016 21:05

Phone round all the driving schools asking them to send their leaflets and give his address (and phone no if you have it).

SirChenjin · 22/11/2016 21:24

I like Cats suggestion of Christmas lights - you could arrange them to spell "get off my driveway" Grin

AcrossthePond55 · 22/11/2016 21:41

amama It is interesting. I admit the UK parking-type threads are always a bit amusing to me. I don't know if the US has similar situations in 'the big cities' but it wouldn't surprise me. I've always lived in the suburbs (wide roads, 2 car garages, paved drives with room for 3 cars) or out in the country (park up someone's dirt drive here and you will probably find hoof marks on your car).

It honestly wouldn't bother me unless, as I mentioned before, it was disturbing my peace or privacy. It's not an uncommon thing to see in the US, someone pulling in and pulling out of the bottom of your drive in order to reverse directions.

amammabear · 22/11/2016 22:36

Biscuitmillionaire that's brilliant!

OP posts:
Saucisson2016 · 22/11/2016 22:47

As if you have enough time in the day to get annoyed by this Hmm

MissWillaCather · 22/11/2016 23:23

Still no excuse for reversing onto a road

CaraAspen · 22/11/2016 23:33

Put tacks on your drive.

Gingernut81 · 22/11/2016 23:35

Start reversing up his drive Grin

amammabear · 22/11/2016 23:35

It's neither illegal, nor (in my case with perfect visibility) even remotely dangerous, and I have a good reason for it because of my disability, which is a far greater risk both to me and my children...

OP posts:
lola111 · 22/11/2016 23:43

I think it really isn't worth falling out over.it is not pleasant to live so close to someone you are on bad terms with.Also there may come a day when you need their help or at least co-operation

joangray38 · 23/11/2016 00:02

Our ex across the road neighbour did this - we put bins accriss the drive - he moved them then informed the council we didn't need them anymore. By the time he died he had damaged our drive. Hadn't heard of mn or penguin bollards or we would have bought a colony of them ! He needs to stop it or get a car he can drive .

Yamadori · 23/11/2016 00:16

There's a direct correlation between the make/size/value of a car and the level of entitled twattishness of the driver round these parts. And whether or not the indicators work.

WouldHave · 23/11/2016 00:23

The highway code just says you should reverse into a driveway and drive out if you can. There's no hard and fast rule.

FluffyFluffster · 23/11/2016 02:09

Is it possible that he just did the same thing as you, ie saw you reversing and stopped and waited? Obviously you can't both reverse onto the road at the same time so someone had to give way (and as you're both reversing towards each other I imagine hand gesture communication would be difficult).

You said it normally only annoys you a wee bit a perhaps this is just one of those days where everything bothers you more than normal? I know I get irrationally irritated when I try and be a friendly driver and let people have right of way and they ignore me or they're not paying attention.

jayisforjessica · 23/11/2016 03:04

bimbobaggins
Because she's too busy canceling the check, didn't you rtft?

CouldIHaveIt · 23/11/2016 03:25

Not seeing the problem at all. It's a driveway not your hot tub.

I'm not sure what your 'other troubles on others threads' are all about, but I think possibly you're projecting your anger & frustration on something 'safe'. Mind you, you seem to have plenty of others here who would be pissed off too. Baffled I am, baffled.

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