To let my toddler play in a graveyard

[RegencyRomanceReader]

Just seen a house that we might buy. It has no garden but backs on to a large old cemetary. We went for a walk around it before the viewing and my toddler was in love! obviously I stopped him climbing on the graves (most are raised stone with statues, huge crossed etc from 18th century onwards) and made him keep to the paths. He was running round pretending to see the gruffallo, pointing out squirrels, birds etc and jumping in puddles. He was not standing on graves but he was loud and excited and pointing out angels and authors and things. There was no one around and no fresh graves (not that old graves deserved less respect). As I one off I'm confident we didn't upset anyone or intrude on anyone's grief but if we bought the house this could become a regular thing (its a city so green space like this without cars is good dust). Wibu to take him for runs here regularly?

My sons in the children's part in the local cemetery. Children running about wouldn't upset me. But then again I have 2 living DD's, one of the mothers who comes up has lost both her children so I can't speak for her.

I'd be more worried about what pp's said about falling graves.

I'm sure if you/I'm dead and don't care and those with dead grandparents etc in graveyards think you/they would be happy with children playing and laughing may be right

But you/they are dead

It's the living you need to worry about.

When dh died my whole world collapsed and my heart broke in a million pieces

I went to the crem to be alone and cry and gather my thoughts

To have little noisy laughing children disturbing my peace at what was the worst time in my life would have been awful

Even more so as when dh died we were ttc so not only did my world come crashing down that the person I loved more in the whole wide world had died but so had my hopes and dreams of being a mum

There is a section at my crem supported by sands for stillbirth and children who died - i often go and have a look and read and think of those poor parents

We know our parents will die eventually and when we are much older our partners - but have always said for a parent to bury a child is so wrong :(

And for those grieving parents to have a child running happily about would be a dagger in their hearts

Blondeshavemorefun it is difficult because not everyone feels the same. I would hate my dad to buried in a very quiet cemetery, he was a lover of life, liked noise and activity and I like the fact that children are riding their bikes and running round when I visit his grave.

How do you decide who has priority, whose feelings are most important. At the end of the day it is a public place so unless children are running across graves I don't see how you can stop them.

I went to a family member's funeral in another cemetery in the same city as where my father is buried. It is very different, because of its location it isn't used as a short cut, not near a school so no children dashing through. I'm sorry but I thought it was horrible and so glad it isn't where I need to go to visit my dad's grave.

Maybe they need to have segregated areas or something.

Children/babies parts of a cemetery often have lots of toys and whirley things on the graves which will attract young childrens attentions and they may try to touch them. I don't think young children should be in that area unless they are visiting a grave.

yes its a public place, but for those who have lost a loved one to remember, liss, miss, mourn or whatever emotion they feel

park, playgrounds, fields etc are also public and nothing nicer then seeing a toddler run about enjoying life :)

I think there's a big difference between letting a toddler play in a graveyard, perhaps because they are at a wedding in the church and need to burn off some steam after the service and while the photos are happening, and planning to use ta graveyard as a de facto playground

its fine so long as care and respect is shown. graveyards are for the living to remember so yes show your ds. let him see the circle of life and how natyral it is. cemeteries dont have to be depressing.

When I was tiny we lived in a new housing estate where the only "park" was a very large and famous cemetery across the road. Think tree lined avenues, national monuments etc.

It was where you went. My Mum took me for walks in the pram there - there are pictures of me sitting up in my huge silver cross pram, in my navy siren suit taking my first steps, I learned to walk and run there, and I'm sure many other children did too.

Actually, given the way the disused graveyard beside my current home us used, I'd be mostly worried about dog poo. It's where everyone takes their dog for a secure run.

Yabu.

Not only is it disrespectful, it could be unsafe.

My daughter is buried in our local cemetery - she shares the space with some very old burials, so it's not always easy to judge whether a graveyard is currently 'in use'. I would be really distressed to see children using the area around her as a playground.

If you need an outside space for your child OP buy a house with a garden or use the local park.

My primary school was right next to a cemetery in fact there was a gate from the playground to the cemetery and we would walk from home through the cemetery to school! It is a very historic cemetery so we even had history lessons in their seeking out the graves of the local mill owners or famous local people (mainly victorians or early 20th century ) that had passed away. We also looked the structure of some of the tombs and the architectural significance of these. We did pass the fresher graves but we weren't allowed to loiter. We were not allowed to run around and had to do things in pairs sensibly. Looking back we were in year 5 and 6 8-10 years old and we learned a lot. This was the 80s though so maybe now that wouldn't happen. I don't think the cemetery was ever used by any of us to play in.

I had a major bereavement fairly recently and I really love seeing kids playing in the graveyard.