AIBU to ask how well behaved are/were your 2 and 3 year olds?

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I have one of each, boy and girl and whilst I love them dearly, they are an absolute bloody nightmare.

Two year old threw her dinner on the floor in a restaurant today over some minor issue that required just a teeny bit of patience. What exactly do you do when a 2 (just turned) does that in public?

If the food I bring 2 year old doesn't please her she knocks it out of my hand. It actually goes flying everywhere. I've learnt from my 3 year old that getting cross and raised voices do nothing but make me feel bad, so I just do the whole, how disappointing, what a sad choice you have made but it goes in one ear and out the other.

2 year old shouts "no" all the time in a ferocious way, even the most simple question. It's embarrassing.

3 year old is getting better but still has days of being a nightmare. He lay down in the middle of M&S screaming like a monster because I wouldn't leave him by himself in the toilets to wash his hands

These are minor things and very much the tip of the iceberg.

I just wondered when family time becomes fun and trips out as a family are not drama and tantrum filled?

Sorry, not feeling great myself and today an awful day of tantrums and endless squabbling.

The 2 year old will not do anything she is told, ever, she only does what she wants to.

Regular but name changed,

Sounds about right. I call it the Attila the hun stage.

It does get easier but I know that's not much comfort to you

Both of mine were total psychopaths at three.

They are now 13 and 15 and much, much nicer.

I lucked out with age 2 and 3 but holy fuck 4 and 5 have been hard work, we have just had an absolute howling incident on the bus because one DT couldn't get a window seat, embarrassing, especially as they're old enough to behave better.

think even the most angelic of children go through vile stages.

I agree it's pretty normal although very very annoying. I have found the "how to talk" books really helpful (original one and sibling one). Not appropriate at all for this age but helps set down good habits for how you all communicate as a family (and with others in general).

Wow your children are exactly like my now nearly 4 year old. She was very pleasant at 2/3 years so now I am paying for it!

Looks like you just got this phase early :) or maybe I got mine late?

Either way, I think this is more about us having incredible patience, not the children. I have noticed that when I reciprocate to my DD's temper tantrums and her screaming NOO at me, I give one word answers and then leave it there.
She goes through a little process, almost like grieving because she cant have what she wants and she eventually cools down and apologises.

Watching a bit of three day nanny really gives good advice as well!

Wow your children are exactly like my now nearly 4 year old. She was very pleasant at 2/3 years so now I am paying for it!

Looks like you just got this phase early :) or maybe I got mine late?

Either way, I think this is more about us having incredible patience, not the children. I have noticed that when I reciprocate to my DD's temper tantrums and her screaming NOO at me, I give one word answers and then leave it there.
She goes through a little process, almost like grieving because she cant have what she wants and she eventually cools down and apologises.

Watching a bit of three day nanny really gives good advice as well!

Just putting this here

Sorry double post!

DS is 2.4 and is prone to a tantrum.

He seems to be understanding what a compromise is though...I.e if you behave like that then we will go home and you will be put to bed with no treats.

up until the last few weeks he wouldn't walk next to us so we took his pram everywhere and we would put him in it at the mere whiff of a tantrum. He hates being in his pram
So he knows to stay out of it he has to behave.

We also have things to keep him occupied when we're out and at a last resort in a restaurant where you're bum anchored at a seat we use an iPad....folk might turn their nose up but it is a last resort and he sees it as a massive treat.

Unfortunately for DS my will is stronger than his and I don't give in to him. If I say no then I mean no. I also stick to my word. If I say no treats because you've not behaved then I see it through so he will eventually realise his behaviour isn't acceptable.

My pet hate is a bratty child and sometimes I think always giving in to them at a young age is essentially making a rod for your own back back when they're older.

Btw we do have loads of fun but I'm a firm believer that children need boundaries and being strict with them at times is a must.

I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel.

If my son threw his meal away in a restaurant then I wouldn't order him anything else. He'd get something to eat later when we were home. Maybe I'm too strict but I can see his tantrums lessening

I hear you, I've got a just turned two year old and today has not been great. He belted me in the face at a music group this morning in front of all the other well behaved children! I do think there is not much you can do but be firm on boundaries...if mine chucks food I get him down from his high chair immediately and say something like 'if you throw food it tells me you are finished'...going out with him is def not relaxing. At the moment he goes nuclear if the green man dares to be on when he gets to the crossing (wants to push the button and make it go green) and if he can't push the lift button...

My two almost there every year old currently screams "no" at me every time I ask him to do something. He's a lovely kind kid and dotes on his baby brother, plays well and has great vocab to express himself I guess it's just pushing th boundaries to see what happens. Driving me crazy!!!

I've got a 3 and 4 year old and today has been a day from hell. I feel like I've been nagging all day and the 4yr old has been terrible which means my 3yr old joins in so it's one big laughing game when they are being told off.

I should have said when I reciprocated to her temper tantrums that it actually got worse, no matter what method I used it didn't work.

Not alone then

Another party trick my daughter does is slapping me across the face and then laughing hysterically.

I didn't order anything else for her to eat so you can imagine the screaming. I couldn't wait to leave.

My DD will be 3 in January. She is either an angel or a devil!

I have a 2.9yo who nursery tell me is a little angel.

I know he can be very very good but today (a rare day off) I would gladly have swapped him for a rabid badger, who I think would have behaved better. It took me an hour to calm him down after I chopped his apple wrong.

After very mild mannered ds1, ds2 was a shock to the system at 2/3. I have developed a zero tolerance approach - 1 warning then stop whatever we are doing/leave. So ds buggers about in restaurant = 1 warning, ds throws food on floor - parent takes back to car, ignoring kicking and screaming. It's horrible, especially if it's something you're enjoying but you'll probably only need to actually do it once or twice.

I found 2/3 very trying but now they are 3 &4 it's getting easier.

We were very lucky with 2yrs and 3yrs in terms of behaviour. I was a bit smug until 4yr old hell hit...I think our 9month old is going to be a firebrand all through. The 5 and 6yr old are still pains in the arse with occasional breaks in the clouds. Goes without saying that I love them dearly but by heck they can push me to the limit.
Hope you have a peaceful evening to regroup . It can be bloody tough.

It was tantrum city in our house. Lots of deep breathing and sometimes I'd put myself in time out (locked in bathroom) to save my sanity!

I think it is very much in the eyes of the beholder. Mine are older now, but at that age I found timing was everything. Also some things (trying to shop in M&S, restaurant meals) just aren't worth it. I would also opt for an activity and picnic rather than meals out.

My 3, almost 4, year old is a little hellion. Sometimes (maybe 12% of the time) she's an angel. The rest of the time she's... a little shit handful. Walks up to me and deliberately kicks me or hits me if she's told no, takes toys off the baby, ignores what I say, doesn't do as she's told ever. Worst for me, pretty bad for DH, angelic at preschool (which she goes to to give me a break, bugger the educational value of it).

We have tried everything. Nothing works consistently. Although, today while I've been ill I've just completely disengaged as I'm exhausted and haven't had the energy and she has been much better. There's obviously a lesson in that somewhere.

Hahaha, 3yr old got us 'hard stared' out of KFC today. The notoriously upstanding and disciplined food establishment couldn't deal with us

DS (almost 3) had a meltdown on the kitchen floor the other day because I wouldn't let him have a packet of gravy mix

What are you actually meant to do in that situation?

FWIW it was an already open, small packet, not a tub with a lid.

3 yr old was put to bed at 5.20 today for yelling screaming and being generally horrible, his dinner was taken and put in the bin! Small people are savages!

My just turned three year old specialises in tantrums at the school gate. I had to carry him, writhing, kicking, screaming and trying to bite me past about three million other mothers only yesterday, put him in the car and ask someone else to grab my older children.

I wouldn't mind so much but I work in the school as a specialist teacher too, so even more embarrassing.

There is just nothing I can do other than wait it out. Mine has language delay and I am not sure how good his receptive language is because he wouldn't do what I asked him to do, even if he understood me.