To lie about the dead pets?

[AtSea1979]

Ok so I told my DD they were hibernating, now I've put cage away she thinks they escaped and went on a rampage or "blew away in the wind" and someone else is looking after them for her.
Do I finally fess up and tell her our beloved stick insects died?
She is off sick at minute and has even made a poster...

Olennas DD used to talk to them but then she's talks to anything that vaguely has a face.
When she held them they used to run fast for a bit then settle. I was terrified they were going to multiply rapidly but they didn't. I won't bother again though.

"get off your soap box and go and eat a burger"

Also

get off your soap box and go and eat a burger, I get the whole living creature thing but even I couldn't get attached to such sticky buggy things

It doesn't matter whether you were attached to them or not-your daughter clearly was.

There's no need to get stroppy because the thread didn't go the way you planned.

I'm still wondering what on earth "go and eat a burger" has to do with this thread.

I think I might send dh to McDonald's on the way home though. Thanks for the inspiration.

This will end well...

Just go buy a new one and she won't even know.
It's hard to explain the circle of life with a stick insect.
You should have been honest from the start but you have gone too far down the porker pie route to fess up now.
If it were a dog or cat then absolutely tell truth and have s 'funeral '.
Next time just be honest.

I agree to be honest next time - I have a toddler and when someone he knew (not close family) died, I told him that she had died and gone to heaven and we wouldn't be seeing her again. It did feel a bit blunt from an adult point of view just to say 'she died' but I think using a word he hadn't heard before helped him to know that something very different had happened to her. It also meant that I could explain to him that I was sad because X had died. He asks about her occasionally when we go to the context where we used to see her, but otherwise he seems to have accepted it.

If you are serious:

You can get butterflies off the internet!!

I went to a butterfly farm attraction and it was ace! The chap was really interesting and they seem quite easy to look after.

OP: AIBU
Everyone: umm, yes, actually
OP: lighten up, I was only jooooking! Oh, and feel sorry for me, because my DD is siiiiick!

Whatever.

Don't butterfly's have a really short lifespan...?

I had a pet stick insect when I was a kid. There were two originally, but one died after a couple of weeks. But then Stickie lived for two years, in his on its side sweetie jar home. He grew to about 15cm long. I used to take him out to play and let him crawl on my arms.

Aren't you lovely
A pet's a pet especially to a child, but nice way of thinking towards a pet.

purple you've made me really fancy a burger and milkshake now

liz70 i had a teacher who had stick insects! She would bring them into school to show us! She absolutely loved them.

Oh yes it's so utterly hilarious to lie to your child about their pet dying You've also proved to her she can't trust you, so congratulations. The fact you don't particularly like the pet doesn't mean you can lie about them dying, FFS.

I'm still a bit shellshocked at the idea that your stick insect dying prepares you for losing your grandparents! Maybe I'm taking it too personally but I hope my grandchildren are a bit more bonded to me than some insects.

My son is 24 and still doesn't know his goldfish died and was replaced. The replacement eventually died and he does know about that. It doesn't seem to have damaged him in any way at all, he deals with death regularly HCP and thinking his goldfish lived longer than it really did hasn't caused any problems with that.

My oldest is 6 now, we have lost 5 pets since he arrived (most of them were here before him and died from old age) we have one up because I was expecting twins and couldn't handle him (bearded dragon) which wasn't fair. Each time we have told the truth, or the died because they were very old or very ill and the one we gave up, explained that it was very important he had a good happy life which through circumstance we weren't capable of giving him. My oldest was sad, but understood and understands death and the value of being a good pet owner etc. It's important stuff

Best to use death of pets as a way of beginning to understated death. Tell her the truth. Never lie about death it is really unhelpful. Direct but compassionate is best.

Talk about complicating an issue

I thought everyone just replaced stick insects when they died. It's not like they have personalities.

Average stick-insect life: 12months; in captivity : 5 years. (hmmmm)

Dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits.... all help to teach children about mortality. But stick insects?

"Goodbye Mog" is a good explanatory story book about death.

When I was young I had a gold fish called Blackie as when he was a baby he had black patches, but then he got big and bright orange, then he shrunk and went pale, then he grew again and got a black tail! I was very impressed by this and used to tell people very earnestly all about it whenever we had a visitor.
It only occurred to me about 5 years ago that it was in fact many different fish. My mum then admitted she gave up when she flicked the last dead one out into the garden and it landed on the roof of the greenhouse.
My view of death and relationship with DM are very healthy despite this.

DD3 had absolutely no comprehension of death. She keeps on telling i've died.

*telling people