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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL wish to take DD on holiday but during term time - AIBU to refuse?

57 replies

Cyclebird · 15/11/2016 20:48

PIL have asked if they can take DS and his cousin to US to see other family members. We have said yes, lovely, thank you but not during school time. We have given them the dates for half term and Easter hols next year. FIL keeps texting me with flight dates during term time. DD has never missed any school days for holidays, he's now in year 6. At a push DH and I have agreed he could miss two days either side of a school holiday if this helped with flight bookings. DH sister is happy for her child (cousin) to miss school (also year 6). I feel we look like the baddies. DD does not know a trip is on the cards. AWBU to insist upon travel during (predominantly) the school holidays?

OP posts:
AllotmentyPlenty · 15/11/2016 20:51

YANBU

CozyAutumn · 15/11/2016 20:52

yanbu. I know someone who recently took their year 6 aged gc on a 3 week holiday to the US and I just thought 3 weeks was so excessive. It wasn't even a holiday to see family either.

Krapom · 15/11/2016 20:55

For an important trip like this, with family to visit family and when in future years exams will make it impossible to take time off I would let him go. And I'm a teacher. You can learn outside a classroom too.

The cost difference for them, when paying for several people to travel, will be enormous.

Sirzy · 15/11/2016 20:55

Yanbu.

OlennasWimple · 15/11/2016 20:56

I can see both sides of this. The GPs want to take them to visit family overseas, the costs are obviously less outside school holidays, and it's only relatively recently that school attendance has become such a big thing, so they probably aren't really aware that it's not so easy to have time off.

On the other hand Yr 6 can be a big deal, and it would be a mega PITA for you to deal with the consequences of an unauthorised absence.

Do you know when SATS will be? Obviously those dates will need to be avoided - and maybe after SATS have finished it might be possible for him to miss more school that you would normally permit?

AmeliaJack · 15/11/2016 20:59

YANBU I would say no.

DoinItFine · 15/11/2016 21:01

YANBU

I wouls also say no.

pipsqueak25 · 15/11/2016 21:06

you're the parent, your call.

QuiteLikely5 · 15/11/2016 21:09

I would say yes, your child will benefit in other ways.

Ask school for a weeks worth of school work

bumsexatthebingo · 15/11/2016 21:11

Yanbu to say when you will allow them to go as you are the parent but the pil wnbu to say they won't pay school holiday prices. I would personally just let them go in term time if they're not missing exams or anything.

BossWitch · 15/11/2016 21:12

Is your DD at a state school? If so you could be fined for unauthorised absence. Are the GPs aware of this, and are they willing to pay the fine?

gleam · 15/11/2016 21:12

I found the summer term of Yr6 to be mostly fluff at my kids' school.
Could you have a word with the teachers and see how the work is planned?

Silvercatowner · 15/11/2016 21:14

Ask school for a weeks worth of school work Please don't do this. Teachers are on their knees workload wise, please don't add to it.

DoinItFine · 15/11/2016 21:14

"Fluff" is the best bit of primary school.

No way would I have my kid miss that when they have so many weeks in the year with no school.

AbernathysFringe · 15/11/2016 21:14

Primary school age I'd let them go, missing any primary school work will not destroy their future careers or education. Let the inlaws pay the fines.

BetweenTwoLungs · 15/11/2016 21:15

I'm a year 6 teacher and would be okay with them missing time between SATs and end of term to be honest, and many do. Just be mindful of them missing any high school transition days and the last day as last day of primary is an important day for them.

7SunshineSeven7 · 15/11/2016 21:15

YANBU - SATS are this year and missing so much school work in one stretch could mean missing out on important learning and could be very hard to catch up.

Frazzled2207 · 15/11/2016 21:17

Yanbu but I would probably compromise on letting them leave 2-3 days before the end of term if there was a big difference in price

PhilODox · 15/11/2016 21:20

Aged 4, in Reception, might be ok for a few days. Year 6? No way.
Either it will be before/during SATS, or it will be after when they're all doing their bonding stuff, and preparing to go off to secondary school. Would she miss her going up induction day?
These things are very important to children that age. They're very big milestones.

winterisnigh · 15/11/2016 21:25

I would let him go, before he gets too old and it starts to matter.

it will be a huge life alterting trip, give him a different sense of place in the world, open his eyes a huge adventure, trip of a life time surely!!

mirpuppet · 15/11/2016 21:27

When are SATS over for year 6?

Just want to know when fluff time begins. I'm sure my child would love it.

Ann0y1ng2016 · 15/11/2016 21:28

Holidays are cheaper if booked outside school holiday times

QuiteLikely5 · 15/11/2016 21:29

Letting your DC go really will not have an impact on their education......in contrast a lifetime of memories and love will be gained

To me, it is a no brainer Wink

Although I do respect your stance

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 15/11/2016 21:31

They are May 8th-11th possibly 12th too if the school gets selected for the science paper.

Dahlietta · 15/11/2016 21:32

Ask school for a weeks worth of school work Please don't do this. Teachers are on their knees workload wise, please don't add to it.

I'm a teacher and people do this to me all the time. I don't mind at all, but it does wind me up a bit when they don't actually do any of it!