Should DH muddle through with a chest infection?

[coffeecuppa]

My DH has form for being lazy and used to be a compulsive liar (had counselling in September so I have to assume all things are ok in that respect now). I've posted about him on here before, under a different username. Decided to NC for good as the previous one was easy to work out.

Anyway. He started a new job in July and has 6 months' probation. During probation he doesn't get sick pay. He had a couple of sick days over the past few months, one for a cold and one for a bad back, and he claims he didn't know he didn't get sick pay.

He's now been off since Thursday, and will probably be off the rest of the week. He was diagnosed yesterday with a chest infection and has antibiotics. Has a pretty gross cough.

For reference, he has failed probation two previous times - once directly because of taking time off sick when he hurt his back - resulting in us having next to no income for months at a time. I'm a SAHM trying to start freelancing, so I'm not really able to contribute to finances on a regular basis, though since August I've put all my earnings (about £1,500) into the JA. DS is 14 months and goes to nursery Wednesdays and Thursdays. I don't get much opportunity to do any freelance work apart from those days.

We're already struggling with finances and next month is going to be even worse as DH will be 7 days poorer. Plus there's the issue of him being in his probation, a time when he's meant to pull out all the stops and convince his employer he's worth keeping - something he's struggled with in the past.

Here's the AIBU: should I expect DH to make the effort to go into work with a chest infection? He's well enough to laugh at Facebook, nip to the shops to buy beer and sweeties, play Xbox, chuck DS up in the air, etc. He has a desk job, he drives to work.

I'm sure he's feeling rotten, but I had a chest infection and sinus infection at the same time back in August and I still had to muddle through looking after a baby all day (and night) long!

There are deeper relationship issues at play here but I guess I'm looking for some advice.

AIBU to hope DH would muddle through with a chest infection so that a) he won't lose his job and b) we aren't as up shit creek financially next month? :S

and you honestly don't think he's cottoned on to the fact that if he leaves you when he's lost this job, he'll be much better off financially? You'll both have no income then, but you'll have the better prospects. I'd still see a lawyer in your shoes to understand what this change in circumstances will cost you.

I did write out something similar, though less detailed, for him back in September (complete with the days each thing should be done on) but he only stuck to it for a couple of weeks.

You are just perpetuating the cycle. You've been here before and you know he won't stick to it. There will be excuses, there will be gilt trips, tears, the full works.

This man will never change. Do NOT let him back in. He doesn't want to work. Fuck the DIY, that's the least of your problems. He doesn't want to do FA. He's a manchild. NO drawing up lists or whatever. He's an adult, he can puzzle out what needs to be done on his own, it's not hard. He doesn't want his cushy life to end. You need to move on.

When you asked him to leave and he didn't think he would see his son for 2 weeks he STILL wouldn't step up and get his lazy ass out of bed!
Please protect your inheritance he is out to play you.
The saying 'when someone tells you who they are, you should listen' was coined for you.

You could still draw up a post nuptial agreement (I think) whereas he waives any right to your inheritance and DF's money that made up the deposit for your house. If he's serious about changing, then it shouldn't be a problem to him, should it?

I agree with other posters about the crocodile tears. I think you said upthread he'd been "indulged" as a child, and children learn that tears often get them what they want.

As for him staying in bed because he needed a couple more hours sleep, when he knew he wouldn't be seeing his son for 2 weeks... just hideously selfish. Whereas you come across as extremely selfless.