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Original poster

Not so exciting at Christmas due to small family

104 replies

Dorsetmum18 · 14/11/2016 23:13

Wondering if there are others out there who are not totally excited about Christmas because you dont have a huge family all meeting up ?!

I love Christmas but have no siblings and so my kids have no cousins, i would love to have a few siblings and all get together with loads of kids just for noise and even for arguments but just normal for us really, me DH and our two kids. They are excited but I guess I just feel sad sometimes that I don't have loads of family to plan visits too, it just seems so much more Christmassy ! This does not help when watching typical festive movies which often shows noisy huge families having fun and games !

Or am I just going doolally ?! Would love to know its not just me feeling sorry for myself......

OP posts:
QueenofLouisiana · 14/11/2016 23:17

We don't have a big family either, just the 3 of us really.

We go on holiday now- no family expectations, just sun, a beach and cocktails before dinner!

ssd · 14/11/2016 23:19

absolutely the same feelings here

last new years day, I was wandering round debenhams on my own, am in Scotland and it was dead, there was only me and a couple of lonely elderly men there in the cafe when I went to kill some time, I phoned my friend from work, she couldn't chat as she had 14 family members in her home, eating dinner and playing games, kids and adults...the loneliness was like a tight band around my heart.

I get what you mean, wholeheartedly.

ssd · 14/11/2016 23:20

holiday abroad would be wonderful just to escape the isolation here but the travel agents bump up the prices and we've never been able to afford to go away over xmas or new year

flopsypopsymopsy · 14/11/2016 23:22

At least you have children. I think it's just going to be me and DH this year... Sad

Evilstepmum01 · 14/11/2016 23:23

aye but no big family means no big arguments! No big toxic family, half of whom dont speak to the other half!

I'm from a medium sized family and am glad its just me, DH and kids, with my DF popping in on christmas day!!

I've spent christmas day alone before (apart from my lovely dog best friend) it feels odd, but hey more wine for me! :)

TowerRavenSeven · 14/11/2016 23:24

I kind of feel the same way, there is me, dh & ds (14). No family here at all. But I find it's how you make it. I used to feel bad for ds because he's an only, but he insists on being home and not on holiday for Christmas because it's 'magical'!!

The kids don't know any different!!

WeeM · 14/11/2016 23:26

I'm an only child, my child is an only child and she doesn't have cousins either so we don't ever have a houseful. I don't mind though-the most I think I've done dinner for is 9 and it was just stressful and I didn't get to enjoy the day until about 7pm! So a busy house isn't always a happy house!
you could go out for dinner rather than go away overnight? We've done that before and really enjoyed it.

jemsywemsy · 14/11/2016 23:26

Remember that a fair few of those people having the big family gatherings are being forced to spend time with people they aren't actually that keen on (hence only seeing them once a year!). You get to spend Christmas with the people you really love, no stress, no family politics. It has its upsides!

Maybe you could invite friends over for a little gathering between Christmas and New Year? Or go on some day trips (they don't have to be expensive - e.g. National Trust places)?

WeeM · 14/11/2016 23:28

Towerravenseven - I was the same growing up! Refused to go out or away. Had to do things every Xmas in the same order and still do!

sillypussy · 14/11/2016 23:34

Instead of feeling sad, why not do something different this year? And it's a good idea for those who are on their own too. Last year, the EX took kids to his parents fm 24-26 in a hissy fit. So I found a local church that did Xmas dinner for the homeless and elderly. Xmas eve we peeled veg. Xmas day we served it up to some very appreciative people and it was probably my fave Xmas day ever!!. So think outside the box and do something different. So you don't have lots of people to celebrate with, then go out and find some who really need the support. You will love it.

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy · 14/11/2016 23:41

I always find these threads very telling.

I have a huge extended family as does DH but most of mine don't get on so we don't see them. I'll see parents, sister, niece, auntie, her partner, cousin, her partner and their baby. It'll be enjoyable chaos for a few hours and then I'll be glad to be home in the peace with just DH.
DHs family are spread all over the country so we don't always get to see them.
It seems like a wonderful way to spend Christmas- but I would trade it in a second to have a Christmas at home just me, DH and DC. we don't have dc as we have fertility issue.

OP Christmas is what you make of it.

And to the pp who can't afford to go away - have you looked at European city breaks for Christmas? I know it may not suit some people but I've been to Prague, Reykjavik and Krakow at Christmas. They were all affordable, cold / snowy and lovely.

Original poster
Dorsetmum18 · 14/11/2016 23:41

Aww thats a nice plan ! Well done you. We hope to go over NY so something to look forward too. Thanks for replying x

OP posts:
Original poster
Dorsetmum18 · 14/11/2016 23:48

Aww thanks all of you, really appreciate all your comments so quick its cheered me up ! Of course i know lots of people have crap times trying to see too many family members and its not all perfect etc but still being very sociable i just feel even with arguments and stress i would love the busyness of it all !! Anyway big thanks for all the pros and cons ...

I wanted to message back after each reply but cant work out how to do it !! Im sure ive seen others do but how ??! I put add message but it showed at the bottom of all the messages arghhh. Im a newbie ! 🙄😏

OP posts:
Witchend · 14/11/2016 23:51

My dc prefer a quiet Christmas with just our family. They tell us so every year. They could have the huge big noisy one, but none of them like it.

Jinglebellsandv0dka · 14/11/2016 23:54

Thank your lucky stars!

Big family Christmases are not all they are made out to be and they are certainly not like a TV ad!

We normally go away but stsying at home be sure we've just had another baby and already getting PA comments about who we are/should invite over and 'if'we are doing 'a dinner' so and so won't eat any veg blah blah Hmm

Enjoy you Cosy Xmas op!

buttercup54321 · 14/11/2016 23:56

I understand completely OP xx

user1477282676 · 14/11/2016 23:57

Dorset what you need to do is just mention each poster you want to reply to...you can make their name bold by adding a * in front of their name and at the end.

We have two kids and whilst they do have cousins, they all live in the UK and we've moved to Oz. We have one cousin over here but only very young so not really compatible.

When we lived in the UK, my family never did big get togethers. My sisters both had kids the same or similar ages to mine but they preferred to stay in their own homes....so DH and I always had Christmases with just us anyway.

Tbh it's one of the reasons I've moved across the globe! I thought, why am I staying here "for family" when we don't do anything because mine don't ever want to!

PNGirl · 14/11/2016 23:58

I love Christmases with our small family. It's either me, husband, pyjamas, bucks fizz and an easy Christmas dinner, us at my parents (no siblings) or us at his parents (one sibling but she's a vet and works at Christmas). It's never been much more to me than a Sunday with presents.

PuppetInParadize · 14/11/2016 23:59

We do have 4 Dc - all adults now. None has a partner at present so it's 6 of us for Christmas. Since #1 was a baby we've had just us. I often worked at some time over Christmas (NHS frontline stuff). Not a huge extended family - though dh and I each have a brother but there have been no GPs for a while now. It's fun even now they are bigger people.

It's what you make of it really - we have created our own rituals and traditions. We all open presents - then i go back to bed and listen to radio prog that DH hates! When i was either working or on mat leave (we have 2 of our babies born Dec and Jan) DH got into the habit of doing dinner. Now he gets help from the DC - and me too for certain tasks. We don't do church- though there's a church up the road and I like singing so i might go. After dinner we often watch film. And we read our new books. When the Dc were little we played games, did jigsaws, read books. DH falls asleep - sometimes I do too! We have an open fire. A day or two before CDay we decorate the tree. We like to wait till all are here - one ds works up to Xmas Eve often. We might go for a walk too - work off our dinner!

Babyroobs · 15/11/2016 00:02

I would love a big family christmas but usually it is just me, dh and our 4 kids. Every other year I have to work christmas day also .My df pops round for dinner but doesn't stay long. I'm hoping one day in the future if my dc's have grandchildren there will be more of us around !!

PandoraMole · 15/11/2016 00:08

I can see where you're coming from. I'm an only child, and I have just the one daughter. We have spent most Christmasses as a trio due to both sets of GPs being somewhat demanding.

STBXH and I separated earlier this year. DD and I are living with my parents at the moment and I have no idea as yet how Christmas is going to work. Tbh I'm really hoping that by next year we'll be settled in our own place and it might just be the two of us for Christmas but doubt that'll happen.

I do get a bit nostalgic for when I was a kid and my dad's sis and bil, my cousin, another uncle and both nans descended on us, but our family dynamic was very different to the one between mine and STBXH's family, so it's not something I really hanker after.

BottleBeach · 15/11/2016 00:13

OP, my only DS is going to be at the other end of the country with his dad, so I will be spending Christmas alone with my dad, who lost his wife earlier this year. And even I feel lucky to have my dad to spend it with, and to have a DS to be able to FaceTime.

I'm actually quite shocked that someone could be so insensitive as to post a pity thread about only having a DH and 2 DCs to spend Christmas with. Poor you.

tiej · 15/11/2016 00:14

Just us and our adult DD again this year, it's going to be sad for several reasons, but some people are totally alone, so I spare a thought for them.

I hate it when people say, it's just one day. No it isn't, it goes on for ever.

PaniWahine · 15/11/2016 00:16

We both come from large families, but live in Ireland away from both families. We spent last Christmas with my family, but as a close family member had just passed, there was a lot of resentment and drama. The year previous, we moved into our first home on the 23rd so had chaos. This year we are being anti social and hiding away for a fortnight just the two of us. TBH I wish we would invite some friends at least to share a meal but DH wants to rest after a hard year

befrazzled · 15/11/2016 00:16

We don't have a big family so dcs don't have cousins to share Christmas day with as I used to but we started a Christmas Eve tradition about five years ago. We have an open house from 10:30am until around 7:30pm and invite friends to pop in, have a drink and some snacks, watch Christmas dvds, even had some spontaneous carol singing in the kitchen one year. It really is a lovely relaxing day, we get to catch up with friends and there's no pressure to be anywhere else and it makes sure we are sorted before Christmas Eve so there can be no last minute shopping as we are in all day. We love Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day and friends really look forward to it too. After such a busy day we quite like a quieter Christmas Day