to buy my disabled daughter branded clothes?

[PennieB]

My daughter is in a wheelchair, she is mentally disabled. She obviously has no idea about brands, so no peer pressure, etc.

However, I'm not being unreasonable to put her in them am I? MIL seems to think it's because I want to 'jazz her up a bit' would you think along those lines if you saw my DD in branded clothes?

My dd is mentally handicapped and I buy her top branded clothes and trainers. I don't see why she should be dressed in anything I wouldn't dress my other dd in. She isn't aware of the branding, she just likes the pretty clothes. Do it.

If your DD can't tell you what she likes and can't choose, then you need to choose for her. That means that you get to dress her in clothes that you like. If you like and can afford branded clothes, as long as they won't cause her discomfort, then that's what you get.

She's not an accessory that you can 'jazz up' - she's just your DD, who happens to use a wheelchair. Unless you haven't told us about some tinsel you've wrapped around the wheels?

Yanbu. It winds me up when I see parents putting their children with sen in awful clothes like silly hats, unmatched and generally not put together. I have seen this alot.

My sibling is also in a wheelchair and my mum buys for him nice, branded clothes. Just because he is disabled doesn't mean he shouldn't have nice things.

Surely, as with any child where (for age, disability or whatever reason) you pick their clothes, you'd pick stuff that suits them and that you think works for their activities and that they look nice in? The brand issue is irrelevant if they meet the above test. Go ahead.

Mentally handicapped is not a pleasant description pp.

You see clothes, you like them, you chose them for your DD.

TBH I really wouldn't notice if the clothes were branded or not! I wouldn't notice though whoever she was!

I would notice a caring mum and happy DD thoigh and so I think that's what matters here.

Can you challenge your Mil to why she thinks your DD shouldn't or wouldn't want to wear what her peers are? she sounds pretty ignorant imho.

It might be worth bearing in mind that the badly dressed children with special needs have picked their own clothes or may be wearing clothes that are easy for them to dress into themselves (and for ease of toileting etc) :)

Young children, or those with the type of disability you describe op, don't care what they wear. Children are often dressed for the parent not the child, and no one thinks anything of it (i mean that in a positive way, i'm finding it hard to word). I doubt they will with your dc either.

As long as she's comfortable, that's all that matters.

That's actually kind of heartbreaking that your MIL sees it that way. She's your daughter, and you want to buy her clothes that are a bit special. How could anyone criticise you for that?

I hope I word this correctly ... (probably not so hope I don't offend)I feel sad when I see disabled children with poorly cut hair and clothes that are not what an abled bodied child may have been asking to wear

You sound lovely. Buy her comfy nice clothes (branded or not) it doesn't matter.

And really big branding on clothes just screams poor person trying to look like they have money -mostly looks cheap - really don't label your kids like this.

Thanks everyone.

MIL thinks I'm doing it in a nasty way because I'm not happy with her and want her to 'look better' she gets on my nerves tbh and it's an ongoing issue, but she never mentioned the clothes before, so now I'm a bit this thread has made me feel better though :)

Gosh, I think your MIL's attitude is kind of mean. As though she's saying because your daughter is disabled she's not "worthy" of designer clothes and you should just dress her in any old thing. :(

No YANBU, you love your child and want to her to have the best you can provide. Whether that is care, comfort or clothes you're giving her what you think she deserves.
Ignore your MIL she can dress herself in whatever she fancies.

Justaweeone, hair cutting/grooming can raise really big issues for people with a sensory disability (like autism for example)

You sound as though you get pleasure from it, and she is comfortable, so don't worry about what anyone else says. You don't need to justify yourself to your MIL or anyone else.

Pennie, I think your MIL is being a bit odd tbh. I would take no notice

My priority is comfort. So long as your dd is comfortable you dress her in whatever you fancy. I'd ignore the mil.

I can't imagine anyone would think that, everyone wants the best for their kid, what is your mother in law saying, you should dress her badly or in cheaper clothes ? That's awful. 😞😞😞

My son is disabled.
I am very careful about his clothes and appearance. He is older now and able to make more choices and I still 'steer' him towards certain things.
I don't make him wear anything impractical or uncomfortable.
He is already a target. If I can do anything to minimise the risk of him being picked on and battered I will do.

So he doesn't wear joggers hoiked up to his chest and as soon as he was able to tie laces (not that long ago) he wore trainers with laces rather than velcro.

I want him to look good. Not to make me look good or to show off. Just to give him a bit of an extra chance.

He would wear the same jeans and hoodie for months if I let him. I don't think anyone would let their non disabled child do that.

If 'jazzing her up' means dressing her nicely then yes that's exactly what you're doing and that's fine! Does mil think she's not worth jazzing up? Personally I'd not spend the money on brands if she didn't care, but then I don't care about them. But there's no need to dress her in crap just because she doesn't realise!

I don't even notice when anyone wears branded clothes. It's just not something that is on my radar.

Wear what you like, dress your children how you like, buy whatever brands you like. As long as all the important bits are covered, I won't judge.

I think people forget that a severely cognitively delayed person is still a person. They rely on their carers who are 9/10 times the parents to make decisions and support them in all aspects of their daily lives. That includes personal care, medical decisions, educational decisions and financial decisions.
So you make the decisions based on what you think your DD would want or is age appropriate. And it sounds like your doing a great job.

I know a young person who is extremely visually impaired, very limited free movement and severe cognitive delays. It was noted when football was on tv he really responded to it. So he was taken to a match. He loved it and laughed a lot. He now has a season ticket. There are those who suggest it's more for the carers to watch the match for good seats and don't see that this teenager is doing something he enjoys, gets a lot out of the atmosphere and is now known by name to all the team players who chat to him every home game and he is such a social young lad he gets so much from it.

Some people will never get it OP - but you sound like your doing your best and please don't let anyone make you feel a lesser person for that

I have a disabled son. He wears what is practical and comfortable. Sometimes thats branded sometimes not. Just clothes