To think that having a nice house makes people happy.

[FallingApartAtTheSeamsAgain]

My current house is kind of crappy. It's not planned out very well, is old, needs lots work and just looks really tired. It's small too. I hate it and dream of living somewhere nicer where I've done the whole house up to my taste etc.

The house is a bit of a squeeze for our family but we manage by decluttering/ organising etc.

I think a nicer house would actually make me more happy and improve my quality of life but DH disagrees and thinks that I would be just the same. He thinks moving or redoing/ extending this house up would mean I would just latch onto something else to make me happier.

We had a house a while ago, was husbands choice and was next to a very busy A road, I don't know why I agreed to it really, I wanted another one. I did like the house and we lived there for many years, but the traffic and lack of parking I never really got used to.

I was quite happy to leave it though, and so fast forward when it came to picking this one, it was basically my choice and hubby wasn't so sure initially as quite rural. Now happy,

I honestly think being happy where you are makes a difference, but it sounds to me it's not your location that's the issue, it's inside the house, and as such I think that's fixable? With time and money though clearly,

We have our dream home. It gives us such pleasure every day. The views, the quiet, the cosiness and the beautiful features. As we have enough money and a stable relationship already (and I think both those are more important indicators for happiness), our surroundings being lovely do increase our happiness on top of that. If we had no money or a bad relationship I don't think it would matter where we were.

My friend has a beautiful massive house and she's not happy.

I have a small crappy house and I'm happy but I've had nothing before, lived in a hostel with my 4 year old (at the time) son so maybe that helps me, she's always had money and nice things

It's not the niceness of the house, per se, but my inability to relax if thing need doing. You know how difficult it is to sit and chill in a room with a giant pile of washing up in it? You feel like you should go and sort it out. It's hard to go to bed and leave the wet washing. Having jobs around the house that need doing (even if the house is perfectly clean and tidy) nag at me in the same way. I sit and get irritated by the wall that needs painting or the floor that needs replacing or the badly designed bathroom until one day you'll find me snap at 11pm and rip out a bathroom cupboard with a sledgehammer (that's happened) just to feel like I'm doing something about it. Or open a bottle of wine on a Friday evening intending to put my feet up and end up rearranging the furniture or painting a wall a dubious colour.

It's the 'it's not done' feeling that I cant deal with. I'm on a kind of rotation with my rooms and no sooner is one finished I start another, but they have to be finished to lend themselves to true relaxation/contentment. That's why for me a 'nice' house improves my life.

I agree. It is cruel

I also told him at the time not to buy it as we'd be in negative equity but he didn't listen and now it's gone down over 10% in value which is worth thousands of pounds. Money I don't have.

I agree. Our house needs little work. But when we replaced the bathroom that's stressful. When there's nothing that needs doing, when I'm up to date with cleaning and ironing, my reasonably nice house makes me feel settled and content.

OP do you think the reason he is belittling your feelings on this is because he doesn't want to amity you were right all along?

He has over time realised that he really shouldn't have bought this house. We've had many an argument over it and there are times I have wanted to leave.

If I was asking but in a home I loved which just needed doing up I wouldn't be like this . But the reality is that I am skint and paying for a house I hate.

YANBU!

I am definitely happy when my house is clean and tidy and strongly believe I would be happier in a 'nicer' house. There's nothing wrong with my house but I'd like a nice garden, and that would make me happy.

I think layout and ease of use is a big thing as well. If you find things difficult because of how your house is laid out than can make you unhappy I think!

I think people do not appreciate the very different connotations of the word "house" and the word "home". One is a building and the other connotes security, belonging etc.

I live in a beautiful 17th Century house which is listed so, on that level, it is a house. That we live in it, love it and have put our own stamp on it, makes it a home.