To think that having a nice house makes people happy.

[FallingApartAtTheSeamsAgain]

My current house is kind of crappy. It's not planned out very well, is old, needs lots work and just looks really tired. It's small too. I hate it and dream of living somewhere nicer where I've done the whole house up to my taste etc.

The house is a bit of a squeeze for our family but we manage by decluttering/ organising etc.

I think a nicer house would actually make me more happy and improve my quality of life but DH disagrees and thinks that I would be just the same. He thinks moving or redoing/ extending this house up would mean I would just latch onto something else to make me happier.

I think you're right. If you don't feel relaxed in your house for whatever reason, it is very stressful. I don't like my own very much, it's so cluttered and I hate most of the contents (dh is the problem). I also hate living in close proximity to neighbours, I always feel a weight has lifted off me when they go on holiday. And they're lovely really. But I know we could never afford a detached house in the middle of nowhere!

I understand, I live in a house not a home. There probably isn't anything too wrong with the house though it isn't what I see as being a home. I have made a few changes recently, a new rug has actually made quite a difference.

Quite often it isn't something wrong with the house, I'm sure the 3 people living in my house design in the road are probably happy, just I'm not.

I want to move, dh chimes out 'what if you're not happy there?' but I think he's wrong, get the house right and I'd be happy.

Not a priority for me. My DM can't understand this one and has spent a lot of time thinking I must be unhappy because my house isn't "nice" in the way she understands it. I feel relaxed because the people who live there (dh and dc) are friendly and easy-going, very little tension, no walking on egg-shells. To me that's what makes it a home. Have seen beautiful houses that were definitely not homes according to my definition. (not talking about parents here btw)

sara107 I love it when my neighbours go on holiday too ( and they are very decent people).

Makes me happy. I love a decluttered, pretty, light space. I love my house it makes me happy - I think if I always felt unhappy about the space/work that needed doing it would eventually affect my mood

For me, it's about having my own space where I am in complete control. A nice, quiet, clean and tidy space for just me and the cat.

I'd ideally like somewhere detached one day and my own driveway and garden but in the meantime, i'm happy here.

I will NEVER live with another human full-time again.

I have just put a picture up of my lounge- it is 'styled' but I don't think it's too pretentious or can't be enjoyed- I love sitting and reading in there.

I'd love to work from home and never go out at all!

In my experience, no. I used to live in a beautiful 4 bed detached house in a nice area. Ex-h's financial behaviour and theft, led to the house being re-possessed and I ended up homeless. I live in a 1 bed HA flat in a not so nice area. But I LOVE it. It needs decorating and has only had proper heating put in in the last 2 years, but it feels like home. I have filled it with things I love and am happier on my own (without that shit in my life) in a tiny, scruffy place then I ever was, in a beautiful, large house (with total twat in it). That's not to say if I won a lovely little cottage somewhere, I wouldn't be thrilled, because that would be a lie. But home to me is where I feel safe and happy and it's not dependant on the niceness of the place. I'd have never thought I'd feel this way, but I do.

I think you can be happy or unhappy WITH your house but I don't think having a nice house will MAKE you a happy person.
I loved our last house because my children grew up there. We have moved to a much 'nicer' house and bought new stuff but I don't feel as happy as I did because it no longer feels like a family home the way the old one did.
Atmosphere of the old house was more important, much to my surprise, than my nicer new house.

No, it doesn't. It may improve immediate mood - I always feel deep satisfaction when our house is clean, tidy and decorated for an event. But I know people who live in gorgeous homes who are wretchedly unhappy, and people who live in a real mess who are deeply happy.

We bought our house in a panic as dh was relocated and didn't want to be alone, so it was a rush buy. I can walk ds to school in less than 10 mins, it is in a lovely leafy area, great garden and pool, so it has a lot going for it, but it has never really felt like home until we started painting the outside last week, and we have been here for 5 bloody years! Only this past week has it really felt like ours, and my mood & very down feeling has started to lift. I was happier in our tiny 1 and1/2 bedroom flat, than here until recently.

I don't think you need to move, op, I think you need to strip out one room, redecorate it to your taste and then keep it tidy, with a few little luxuries like new cushions, scented candles or fresh flowers. It will do wonders for you.

For those of you believe your house (size) affects your wellbeing. Would you say communal space or bedroom number is a better choice (if you had to choose)

It is relative. When we moved from our crappy 1 bed flat with mould on the walls, disintegrating windows and tiny rooms next to a railway line in Bath to our first house purchase of a small 1990s 2 bed terrace with a little garden we were ecstatic, but 5 years later we bought our current new-build townhouse and we really felt like we'd come home. We've been much happier here, with space to have guests and pets, and I never want to move.

Our family is a lot happier in a bigger place.

We were cramped in a tiny house and sometimes feelings would get frayed.
Now we live in a large 5 bedroomed house with loads of downstairs space. We have the space to relax alone or with others when we choose.

Has had a big impact on family life.

I think that makes sense. I love my home so much, we've been here 10 years and we've constantly changed and updated it but there just something about it that when I get home I feel all my stress come off my shoulders and my children say that it's where they feel safe and happy. I've never felt that anywhere else before

Yanbu. I've lived in some shit holes and am much happier in a nice house

I've moved from a 2 bed flat to a three bed terrace, to a three bed semi, to a four bed detached. I liked each place and found I liked them even more when I made it cosy and tidy and organised, with my books and things about me. My surroundings do make a difference to me - I did feel content in each house but I've realised with every move, I've felt happier with my home.

I think if I could afford a bigger, better house in a nicer area I would definitely be happier. But, as I can't afford to I've done everything I can to make our house as lovely as possible.

I can't change where the house is but I've made the inside really nice. Everyone that comes in says "wow, what a lovely house". It makes me happy that I did it all by myself. I built lots of storage and furniture myself, built part of the kitchen, laid floors, decorated throughout etc. It's quite a unique and creative house and I've filled it with things we love. I do love being at home.

I think there are things you can do to make your space more comfortable to be in, whether that's decorating, putting up pictures, rearranging furniture... but Ultimately if you don't like your home (or the community you live in) I think it's hard to feel truly happy and at ease.

I'm envious of people who can truly be totally at peace when they live somewhere ugly/shabby/noisy/ etc, but personally I can't feel like that. I've lived in some rubbishy places as a student and when we were broke with young kids, and I feel I made the most of it but I didn't feel truly relaxed and 'at home' until we bought our forever house 10 years ago.

I think there is a minimum of having a house that's got enough space, can be kept as tidy as you are bothered about and doesn't have unfinished DIY hanging over you, so the house isn't a problem. Anything over that (big/lovely/views/location) is a bonus. I can really understand why it can get you down living somewhere that's crowded and shabby.

OTOH no use pining after unrealistic options. Do you not have budget to do the work even on a simple/cheap scale, or spread over a few years? Or just too busy? Can you do one or two rooms to your taste so you have a bit of a "me space"?

I know people that moved to a much bigger house and it was a bad move, they got burgled (more than once), moved away from close friends and generally were less happy, the grass isn't always greener.

I think if you cannot afford to move, forget about that anyway.

Make the best of what you have, clear it up, de-clutter, decorate etc etc.