To not punish my daughter for answering honestly/telling the truth (Father Christmas related)

[iProcrastinate]

To cut a long story short! My DD(7.5) hasn't believed in Father Christmas for a couple of years, we never made a big deal about this and I just let her make her own mind up. We still do a Santa letter, and leave out a mince pie with the stocking, that's tradition; and you'll struggle to find a kid who loves Christmas as much as she does! I won't bore you with why we don't make a big deal over it!

DD is under strict instructions NOT to go around telling other children that he isn't real. I don't think that she would, But she has also been taught that to lie is wrong......

So DD and her class have recently moved into Yr3 at school, so they share a play ground with the older kids. DD and a friend of hers were asked, by an older child, do they think Father Christmas is real. DD answered no. That night I got a furious message from the mother of the friend, saying that DD could have 'ruined their Christmases', but fortunately she has managed to 'repair the damage', and could I reprimand DD. I apologised but said that I would speak to her about this but not punish her. She answered honestly.

AIBU not to punish her? At what age do kids start questioning the Father Christmas thing? Surely it must be a hot topic of conversation at this age? DD can't be the only 7yr old out there who doesn't believe.

Bloody autocorrect adding apostrophes. *Grahams.

I (and at least one other parent) emailed our headteacher about OCC - he had absolutely no idea about the links to militant evangelism and Franklin Graham, whose views certainly don't sit well with the school's statement of British values.

Ours neither. They won't be taking part again.

It seems so innocent on the surface but it's pure evil. (They even give the info on their websites but people don't bother checking.)

" It's a bit of fun and it makes me feel really sad that people would happily upset other people for absolutely no reason other than they don't agree with you"

BUT NOBODY IS!!!!!

Anyway. Leaving aside the morality of evangelizing by present giving, the shoebox schemes are a huge waste of resources and air miles. And (puts on tin hat) they are used mostly in this country as sop to our consciences to make us feel better about Christmas excesses. If you want to do something practical there are plenty of schemes in this country which will be grateful for actual presents-or shoeboxes, if you like-without the air miles And give money to overseas charities-the people on the ground know what's really needed.

A local charity that runs a food bank and provides meals and support for homeless people is doing a reverse advent calendar, the idea being that people put by an item each day to donate to the foodbank.

BertrandRussell - have you read the other posts? I wasn't talking about the op but the comments from other people saying their children shouldn't have to keep quiet about it. If they aren't asking their kids to not ruin it for others then they are happy to upset people for no reason

It amazes me that people feel so strongly about it. Children talk and it is normal for them to find out he doesn't exist from other children. When people talk about it losing it's 'magic' for not believing in Sana them they are clearly missing the point.

I told my children that some other children believed in Santa and that it was important to them to think he was real, in a pretty similar way that I told them other people believed in various divine figures (multi cultural area) but that dh and me did not. I didn't drum into them back when they were small that they absolutely mustn't tell anyone ever that they didn't personally believe in Santa because it wasn't their responsibility at that age to protect other children's faith in things that objectively are not true.

In practice I don't think that there were any issues with other children, but it sure was annoying the amount of adults who took it on themselves to go on about Santa to them. So many 'what's Santa bringing you', 'what did Santa give you for Christmas' questions which they found a bit baffling. The questioners didn't take very kindly to their blank faces either, you'd imagine we were abusing them. I find it difficult to understand why people are quite so invested in what is supposed to be just a bit of fun surely?

That's been our experience too, nooka.

I'm Jewish, my kids are Jewish. Someone explain to me why other parents can cope with my kids explaining (politely) that we don't believe in Jesus, but can't cope with us not believing in Santa! He's a fiction, people- no more real than Harry Potter.

In your opinion... Santa is real. Bunch of spoilsports. You'll be telling me that the Easter Bunny and Baba Nowrooz aren't real either...

Red brick, Russell Group, lola111. With distinction... ;)

"Red brick, Russell Group"

Which?

RaeAm How dare you! I think you'll find Harry Potter is real, and based on a true story that JK Rowling had to write as fiction because us muggles shouldn't know about the wizarding world but they wanted us to know how Harry saved us all from Voldemort.

Rae - my DD never believed in God, let alone Jesus - but managed to believe in Santa till she was nearly 6 - well, there was evidence in the form of presents. She believed in the Tooth Fairy for longer because she was convinced she had actually seen her - I assume in a 'vision' aka dream!

Does it make a difference BertrandRussell? Jesus but you are nosey.

No, I don't want to know which institution. Just a bit odd to say "Red Brick Russell Group" - most that are one aren't the other.

"Most".

Bertrand if you are not sure, google it - and stop giving touchmybum a hard time about her alma mater...:)

If they aren't asking their kids to not ruin it for others then they are happy to upset people for no reason

I'd say deliberately not lying to children is a good reason.

people are happy to tell their kids about santa. But I am not going to tell my child to hide her thoughts on it. If you don't want your kids to find out about santa, tell them not to ask other kids. I do tell my children to prevent a witch hunt like you see here, I wouldn't go around volunteering my thoughts, but if someone asks, she should tell the truth.

No need for thought police in the playground.

'Just a bit odd to say "Red Brick Russell Group" - most that are one aren't the other.'
eh? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_brick_university The six redbricks are all in the Russell group.

Well, to be strictly accurate, the original 6 are. There are loads that aren't.
Fair enough. It just seemed a
strange turn of phrase, that's all. Not one I've ever heard before. As you were.

You learn a little every day Betrand. You're welcome.

If they aren't asking their kids to not ruin it for others then they are happy to upset people for no reason

Er, no. They are being consistent, assuming they're also teaching their children that lying is bad.

Some of the anecdotes on this thread are so weird - a kid finds out the truth but the parents re-convince them of the lie and consider it a victory? Wtf?

Some of the anecdotes on this thread are so weird

it's all very weird. it reminds me of expecting other people to respect your blasphemy laws. You are welcome to tell you child whatever you want. Don't expect that to intrude on my relationship with my child and the truth.