Can you be friends with a racist?

[AteRiri]

Is your political view separate from friendships?

AteRiri that sounds more than just racism. That's pure white supremacy bs.

racism is more than just physical violence within narrow parameters.
Racists are not only jackbooted, shaved headed thugs.

Defining racism and racists so narrowly elides the fact that your otherwise lovely uncle (as a for instance) who posts dodgy memes on Facebook in so doing helps normalise extreme views. He also votes for candidates who do the same.

but hey, he's really nice to animals and it would be awkward to challenge him, right? 🤔

Yeah, that would be more than enough for me to bid this fellow a cheery goodbye forever.

Not best friends but acquaintance yes. Doesn't mean I agree with them and would happily argue with them.

Not being someone's friend isn't shunning them though. I'd still be polite and if they wanted to discuss their views calmly then I might put my points across.

Someone who wants to kill everyone of a particular race is not going to be capable of discussion though.

Just reading your update. No. I could not be friends with someone who called for the genocide of an entire race.

If you are feeling brace you could ask him 'so if this is what you think of these races what do you think of me? '

Or you could just cut him out of your life. Noone needs'friends' like that.

And the awful thing is to live in a political landscape where people think it is OK to espouse these views in public.

One of my friends is really quite racist, and I do struggle with it. I think she's reasonably aware, and doesn't express opinions she knows I'll have trouble with. If she does, I set her straight, but I'm more gentle about it than I would be with someone else, which I guess is a bit weaselly and cowardly. I've noticed she seems to be shifting a bit recently though. I think funnily enough the much-discussed increase in open racism in this country is making her realise how horrible the extreme version of her views is, and she doesn't want to be a part of that because she isn't hateful, more unthinking.

No. It would be a terrible betrayal to my other friends from ethnic minorities and I would be too angry at whoever it was. If someone was open minded but ignorant and could be talked to, that would be more acceptable, but someone whose racism was part of their core belief and operating system? No way.

No, not friends. You might have to tolerate them in certain situations but not friends.

I am in a mixed race relationship so no I couldn't be friends with someone who expresses their racist views. I know many people who've made the odd slip up of using a word or two that's deemed racist but I know for sure they're not haters of anyone with other that white skin.

I have had friends with racist attitudes - by which I mean that they saw me as a person (I am mixed race) but had absorbed many of the racist beliefs around them. The thing with beliefs like this is that the person is often totally unaware of them (fish not seeing water) and will often be deeply hurt and defensive when challenged on them. It is often tricky maintaining the friendship, and sometimes I decide I can't do it any more.

I cannot spend time with other people with racist attitudes, because their fundamental view of the world is that it's okay to divide the world into "real people" and "not really people". I don't much care if they include me in the "real people" group - I find such thinking abhorrent. I read a great blogpost recently that described this, and called them "mode 2" people. (Mode 1 people believe that all humans are people and you can't make up special rules to say "you can't put my family in an internment camp but that group over there, it's fine to put them in there".)

No,
I lost lots of friends over brexit.
It made racist views more open and almost, acceptable.
voting leave was fine.
Voting leave because you want those pesky immigrants gone was both ill informed and not at all fine.

No. I don't see how you can possibly separate out the racism from the rest of the person's personality. And I don't see how I could manage to avoid clashes with them without keeping conversation to an artificially lightweight level.

Racism isn't a political view.

Voting a different way to me = still be friends.

Believing their race or nationality is superior = no chance.

Someone who is out and out racist, absolutely not.

It's a harder line to draw when it's political, I've a friend who is in UKIP (and preferred Trump). He doesn't spout racist thoughts, nor does he keep his circle of friends to Caucasian only. He also doesn't judge or not employee people because of their race (he owns a company). But he would say something such as 'its just stupid to pretend this group of pedophiles arent the same race as the other group'.

And while that might be the case it's not actually an exclusive thing, as there are Caucasians adusing children too. I honestly don't know what to think at times.

I must admit though whilst I haven't dropped him out of my life completely I don't seek out his presence.

Absolutely not. And whilst I don't think all leave voters and all Trump voters are frothing card carrying racists, I do firmly believe that voting with the racists is a racist thing to do.

That doesn't mean I think they're racists in everything they do, but that they made a mistake. I guess what I'm saying is that there are actual frothing racists out there that think it's OK to say racist thing to me because I'm white, but there are also lots of people who make mistakes by doing things that are racist by accident, having not thought their actions through properly, or acting in white person ignorance. I know I have made those kinds of mistakes and I try to own them and do better next time.

No, I could not. I have gone NC with people,including close family because of this.

That not just holding a few incorrect and misinformed prejudices that's a disgusting level of racism that I wouldn't tolerate for even a nano second from anyone! However a few of my older relatives and my sisters DP have said some pretty racist/xenophobic things and while I always let them know I disagree with them I don't cut them off for the sake of family unity. However if someone who is just a friend of mine said anything racist I cant imagine I'd want to carry on hanging out.

weavingawickerbasket

What's his beef about Asians?

No way, I hate racism!

I couldn't, no, just as I wouldn't be friends with a misogynist or homophobe. In this day and age, there's no excuse for spouting hatred.

One of DP's cousins, who is a Facebook friend, has shared some Britain First posts. I'd like to block or whatever, but it could cause some ill-feeling, so I won't. But if we meet up and she spouts any of that shit, I will have words with her. (I know that would probably cause ill-feeling, but if I'm going to do it, I'll do it face-to-face.)

A good friend of ours hates Japanese people, because his grandfather died in a POW camp and his father and grandmother were in a Tenko style camp and were starved and very badly treated. I can understand why he can't forgive and forget because his family suffered, so maybe I am friends with racist? But I don't think so.

I'm not fond of Mancunians...

That said, I've promised a beating to a colleague who began a conversation with the N word. How he wobbled as he ran off!

AteRiri I didin't dare ask. We were away on a weekend trip together and I hate to make a scene. I just refused to meet with him and his gf again and we never saw them again after that. I felt incensed by his stupid comment.