Can you be friends with a racist?

[AteRiri]

Is your political view separate from friendships?

WLF46 "I would rather be friends with someone who was racist, but otherwise a kind, generous, caring and selfless person"

Well be definition they are not kind because they are judging people based on their skin colour. They obviously are only caring to you and people who look like you. Generous? Only if you are the right colour. Selfless, they are racist so they are not selfless. Would a black person attribute these characteristics to them?

What you are saying is if my friend is nice to me and all the people who look like me I like them. The fact that your friends acts in an unpleasant way to others is irrelevant to you.

I don't want to get all religious but the parable of the Good Samaritan is all about helping people who are not like you. It is easy to look after yourself the true test of moral fibre comes when you have to defend others.

RitchyBestingFace I understand it is an emotive subject, but if you weren't so quick to call people morons and actually considered the point you would see that it is actually very valid, based on the definitions of the words I used.

Not being friends with someone is not the same as hating them, Fame. I don't like racist views and I wouldn't be friends with someone who held them, but that doesn't mean I hate them. So I can't see how that can be viewed as some kind of bigotry.

unfortunately some membe4r of my family are-not close thank god

they make jokes admit theyre racist and avoid certain places-theres not alot i can do but i dont see them often ive told they cant say things like that in the past to questioning of looks of why not

so i gave up

Can we just clarify that Brexit and racism are 2 different things. Pretty pathetic to not be friends with someone on the basis of a vote.

My point was about hating racists. I screen grabbed to help you understand.

I've reported my post Larry, for using disablist language. You have a fair point there. Apologies.

I should have said that's the most stupid post I've ever seen on MN.

The world would be a happier place if we embraced people with different views to our own, rather than try to exclude them and hope that they just go away. People are different, we should embrace and celebrate these differences - life would be very boring if we were all exactly the same.

Yes. Regardless of those views, life is a rainbow and we should dance hand-in-hand under its glorious arch. Who am I to judge you, just because you think another race is genetically inferior and should be exterminated or enslaved? I celebrate difference, even though difference is actually what repulses you! Let us embrace each other. Unless I happen to be of the race which disgusts you, in which case I assume embracing is off.

I would rather be friends with someone who was racist, but otherwise a kind, generous, caring and selfless person, than someone who was not a racist but was a mean, spiteful and vindictive character.

Right. So this is a choice between someone who is generally nice, but focuses all their hatefulness and intolerance at one particular group, and someone who more democratically spreads their nastiness over a wider demographic. They both sound awful.

And presumably the kind-generous-caring-selfless racist doesn't have a problem with your race, right? Or does your glorious tolerance stretch so far that okay that they think you're genetically inclined to lying or stealing or laziness, or that you should go back to your home country, or that your kids are half-breeds polluting his race? Apart from that, he's a good laugh and always puts his hand in his pocket when the charity tin comes round, so he's a good guy?

No, I couldn't be friends with someone who was openly, hatefully, unapologetically racist. Or who claimed not to be racist, but repeatedly acted in a way which showed they were. I do think there are grey areas unconscious bias, particular experiences and upbringings affecting your attitude, immaturity, insensitivity, confusion but those two are non-negotiable.

At best, it's a mug's game, congratulating yourself on being open-minded about others' hatred and closed-mindedness. At worst, you're enabling them to continue directing hate, oppression and abuse towards another group of people.

Crikey.

I'd struggle to like or respect anyone with those views so I'd be backing off.

"Please stop telling people to respect others' opinions. That's for things like "I don't like coffee" not "I don't like black people" Hadley Freeman.

I could but not a close friendship. A work colleague is openly racist and we have a good working relationship and camaraderie but I couldn't be close friends with him outside of work. I wouldn't say I hate him, he has a right to think how he likes but I strongly disagree so the friendship won't progress.

Whilst obviously not all Brexiteers are racist, in my experience there is a pretty high correlation between the two. I feel passionately that my right to be an EU citizen have been taken from me. It feels like being divorced against my will. So I don't think that it is pathetic or petty.

I feel passionately that my right to be an EU citizen have been taken from me. It feels like being divorced against my will. So I don't think that it is pathetic or petty.

I guess until this point leavers felt like they were stuck in a loveless marriage though.

If the racism isn't expressed while they're with you then yes, of course you can be friends. Besides, if they're only friends with other racist folk then how are they going to learn that it's wrong??

Racism to me isn't a political view. It's just hate. The "races" are made up anyway to describe clusters of characteristics. They are made up, so racism is an abti human stance.
You can't be friends with someone who hates humans.

TheUnworthy

That word is socially acceptable in Eastern Europe, as is the attitude. I was at the football - the whole stadium was monkey chanting the black player.

I couldn't. I think that everyone should be treated the same, regardless of race or background. I have friends from different ethnic backgrounds and religions, and they are some of the kindest nicest people I've ever met. Skin colour should never ever matter.

People tend to be sanctimonious about racism - it's a cardinal sin! Now, don't get me wrong, clearly discriminating against or disadvantagjng someone because of their race is wrong, and there's far too much ugly hatred of others who are 'different' to us be that race or whatever... However, in the words of the Avenue Q song... 'everyone's a little bit racist...' if you don't know it, have a listen, it'll make you think and communicates perhaps uncomfortable truths!

No, I couldn't be friends with a racist. Why would I willingly invite hate in to my life?!

Ps I think there a lot of people who have 'I'm not racist but...' attitudes even if they'd be horrified if you called them out on what might be subtle prejudices they might have.

To emphasise, i believe racism is wrong, full stop, but I think most people aren't sufficiently self-aware of the subtle racism (amongst a whole heap of other prejudices) that exists deep down in them.

"People tend to be sanctimonious about racism"

Yeah- sanctimonious. That's the word. I would have always gone for "not racist". But "sanctimonious" is so much better........

Two separate things.
How do you ever really know what people think. If this ejection has taught us anything it's taught us that.

I think I would lose respect for them, and it is impossible to be truly friends with someone you don't respect.

I could be friendly if I had to be, eg if they were in a wider social group or someone I worked with so I couldn't just cut contact.

But true friends, no.

No. IMO a racist isn't a nice person. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who isn't nice.

If not being a racist, and trying as hard as I can to not do anything racist even though there's plenty of opportunity for me to be part of systematic oppression, makes me sanctimonious, then so be it.

In fact, make me a badge. Sanctimonious Not A Racist.