Not wanting to breastfeed

[Cocklodger]

99.9 percent sure I'm going to be causing a bun fight, really hoping that doesn't happen.
My LG is a few days old. I don't want to breastfeed.
I just,don't want to. Its difficult, It feels unpleasant (I have tried) I really don't like it, Its much easier for me to FF and I know FF is almost as good.
When I told my MW I didn't want to I felt forced to try, still don't like it now.
But I've had a couple of (negative) comments already about it, I don't feel like elaborating hugely so just say ''I just don't want to'', soon to be ex h has had massive a strop about it, My sister and mother have commented also.
Is it U for these comments to be made?
Surely its my right to choose how my baby gets fed without judgement.

As for not having large cohorts of elderly FF babies, I thought we did? My father and his four brothers were all exclusively FF and range from 70s to 50s. My dad's in his late 60s and is the sportiest in our family, a very passionate runner currently working his way back from an Achilles injury.

Condensed milk also seems to have lasted beyond the wars - my DH was fed condensed milk and he was born in the early 60s. His parents lived in Morocco though, so not sure if that may have been a factor in terms of what was available. (FIL worked there).

There was a study in Brazil where the situation is reversed and the poor tend to breastfeed but the rich formula feed

Other than the study saying nothing of the sort. That is a bunch of BS. Brazilians usually breastfeed unless they medically cannot. It is not a social class based activity. If anything were true I would say wealthier women are usually able to breastfeed for longer as they are more likely to have better maternity packages from work or have the option of staying off work for longer.

I thought that there was a new body of research coming through which indicated that the benefits of breast feeding had been overstated. That the main advantage was a small reduction in respiratory infections.

There was. I'll try to find it later.

I think it was actually the breastfed babies were slightly more likely to have asthma than those which were FF.

I think it's a bit disingenuous to say that breastfeeding is only marginally better than formula. I also think it's disingenuous to say that you can't tell the difference
Ok, who has a 5 year old we can use? I'd like to line them all up in a line and lets all guess which were FF or BF.
you can't tell a difference.
The benefits ARE marginal. Therefore formula is almost as good.

And as for the other PP ''Breastfeeding makes you a better mother''
No one is a better mother for sticking to their kids 24/7, don't kid yourself.

To be fair, there are lots of potential differences that you couldn't tell just by looking at a line up of children. I'm not sure it's a strong rebuttal. The point is that the advantages of breastfeeding show at a population level, not an individual level.

Yes, hands up, who has a spotty, dull-eyed 5 year old we can borrow? Preferably more than one so we can really open this can of ~formula~ worms.

😂

Speak: Of course they do. Yes, that is the sensible response. And they show up as marginal.

The benefits ARE marginal. Therefore formula is almost as good.

You sound like you are trying to convince yourself.

I'm a BFer. But more importantly I empower women to make choice that are right for them. Do what you need to do OP & don't feel bad about it.

CAN WE ALL PLEASE AGREE THAT WE SHOULD NOT FEED NEWBORN BABIES CONDENSED MILK??????!!!!!

'Coz I am not sure that issue has been resolved yet. ;)

Seriously though, the OP asked if she WBU to not want to breastfeed. For loads of reasons, SINBU. And that is fair enough.

waitrosepigeon I can't win this can I? If I agree, then i'm wrong, if I disagree, then I'm wrong and I'm just trying to convince myself,
What if I flounce? would that be out of a guilty conscience?

Dude - agreed!! Unless in a war torn nation where the alternative is muddy puddle water

waitrose

Why would people be trying to convince themselves?

Sensible people make a choice based on their preferences and circumstances.

Why would people actually care enough about this non issue?

Still laughing over the better mother comment. Truly pathetic

I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate. It makes me really angry that women who want to breastfeed are undermined by a society which shows breastfeeding as some sort of ideal of motherhood whilst making it incredibly hard to actually bloody do it. I'm saddened by the fact that our breastfeeding rates are amongst the lowest in the entire world.

And my anger is directed at the people who set up breastfeeding mothers to 'fail'.

And none of that is remotely relevant to your situation. You are aware of the risks and benefits of breastfeeding and formula feeding, and have decided that in your particular situation formula would be best. And that's all there is to it, really.

I wish that every mother could get the support and information she needed to feed her baby in the way that is best for them and their family, and that nobody felt that they had to apologise for making the best choice for their circumstances.

Cocklodger - as a mum of two that "failed" twice at breastfeeding I can tell you I have perfectly happy healthy and noisy kids. Although they will probably drop dead of formula related illness when they hit 60. Good news is I will already be dead as I was also FF so I won't be around to feel guilty.

There will always be people who look down on you for this decision, even once your kids are grown. You need to get used to not listening, grinning and nodding. I usually find telling them my rampant drug habit prevented me, shuts them up quick.

Mrsemcgregor

Broomstick I agree with you completely.

Lol at rampant drug habit

Mrsemcgregor

Thanks, I needed that

Of course you couldn't spot the difference between 2 kids. The difference is felt on a societal level across generations...not something that anecdotes can help with.

But either way your bubba your choice Hun. If you feel you have been adequately supported and are making a fully informed decision I wouldn't give it a second thought. The dad gets to express an opinion,after that unless he starts lactating he can back right off. No-one else even gets the right to that initial opinion.

Well I am 49 and my DM happily tells me she could BF me and smoke at the same time

Bless her.

I was ff and as far as I'm aware of, I'm a relatively healthy adult. I don't suffer from allergies or skin conditions and I hardly ever get sick.

I know part of it is down to the individual, I just don't think bf is the be all and end all.

Cocklodger why did you ask if you didn't want to hear any opinions different to your own?

I said I could tell with my baby. He had an allergy too. Lots of babies do have allergies to formula. I also said earlier I mostly ff both of my children and they're both healthy.

Why are you arguing if you're confident and happy with your decision?

Well I didn't actually ask for opinions on which is best, and this has started due to a comment I made in OP that FF was almost as good.
I asked if the comments I had were being U.
I am happy and confident in my decision, doesn't mean I can't argue when someone tells me i'm wrong/inappropriate/offensive/disingenuous