Not wanting to breastfeed

[Cocklodger]

99.9 percent sure I'm going to be causing a bun fight, really hoping that doesn't happen.
My LG is a few days old. I don't want to breastfeed.
I just,don't want to. Its difficult, It feels unpleasant (I have tried) I really don't like it, Its much easier for me to FF and I know FF is almost as good.
When I told my MW I didn't want to I felt forced to try, still don't like it now.
But I've had a couple of (negative) comments already about it, I don't feel like elaborating hugely so just say ''I just don't want to'', soon to be ex h has had massive a strop about it, My sister and mother have commented also.
Is it U for these comments to be made?
Surely its my right to choose how my baby gets fed without judgement.

and with 'this all' I mean the arguing. Prior to that it was just comments suggesting what I could say to naysayers, and supporting my choice.

I only gave this information because ime most women stop breastfeeding in the first few weeks when they're likely exhausted, in pain and not thinking 100% clearly.

Personally I wish people had encouraged me to carry on because I think there are long term benefits to breastfeeding.

People will comment on many aspects of your parenting for many years to come.

That SIDS and bf stuff is dangerous. No one knows what really causes SIDS. A lot of research actually points to high levels of poisonous gases. New Zealand have the lowest rates of SIDS and they all wrap their cot mattresses. Make of that what you will.

Why do people care how people feed their own babies -- it's not like it's affecting these judgy people. It's just another way women can feel (in their mind) superior. Bit sad if that's the best thing you've ever done in your life!!

With regard to the healthier baby thing-: I was ff and have no problems, my brother was bf and had eczema as a child and life long hay fever!!

Kittyperry what are you taking about? Formula has been used since the 50s

It's the same of women who think that placenta pills have any benefit. Makes me laugh really. They just want to seem better than others.

You're NBU OP. It's nobodies business but your own and tell anyone who thinks otherwise to bugger off!

As a side note, I'm a bit confused about how all the 'I bfed all my children until they were Xyears and never had an issue' comments are helpful to OP? Breastfeeding stealth boasts??
It's not helpful, OP has made her decision and is not asking for opinions/anecdotes about feeding, but whether others commenting is acceptable.

most women stop breastfeeding in the first few weeks when they're likely exhausted, in pain and not thinking 100% clearly

I was in that category and most definitely thinking clearly. I was crystal clear that it was awful and I had no desire to continue with it. All that happens over time is that you forget and minimise.

A lot of successful longer term BFers will say that they had a rough 6/8/12 weeks etc but that it became easier in the long haul. 6/8/12 weeks is a very long time! I think you have to be very determined to get through it if you have a bad start and really feel that it is worth it.

There is a tiny percentage who believe that not persevering makes you a worse mother. My opinion of those people is not worth mentioning. The anecdata of a room of children at ANY age is enough for me.

Great if you want to do and the baby wants to do it, great if you don't!

Also wtf is that breastfeeding makes a better mother nonsense?????

kitty I don't get how in the same post you say mothers who are able to put their babies down are 'sensible' but go on to say you're a better mother for not being able to put your baby down?

And yes you fucking can. Breastfeeding does not require you to be attached to a baby 24/7. Maybe I've misread your post but you do realise you can put a baby down in between? How will your baby learn to sit, roll and crawl if you insist on holding them all the time?

How can you compare placenta pills to breast milk? Come on?

I don't think anyone should be criticised for using formula. But I don't understand why people are so keen to rubbish the benefits of breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding does not make you a better mother.

My mum breastfed me with a fag in her mouth, figure that out.

Nope women give up breastfeeding generally because they 100% want to and choose to.

My friend bf one twin & ff the other.

They're 4 now and I literally cannot tell the difference between them.

Kitty, lots of mammals, from hares to seals and loads and loads in-between, give their offspring one or two v high calorie feeds a day and leave them to it! Very few (undomestic) stay with them all day, not at all practical for many reasons.

Also, toxins accumulate in fatty tissue. My health visitor remarked once that I wouldn't give a baby milk from a 34 year old cow, and she was right, I wouldn't.

No-one is 'rubbishing' the benefits of breastfeeding. They are simply objecting to them being overstated against expert opinion. Why? Because - as we have seen on this thread - the inaccurate claim that BF and FF cannot be remotely compared is often used as a stick with which to beat mums who can't or don't want to BF. The same is not true the other way round.

Breast Is Best is a silly statement, it makes breastmilk seem like some sort of extremely magical rare liquid gold. Breastfeeding is simply the biological norm for an infant human. It's the baseline of nutrition for human babies. Formula is a substandard substitution for breastmilk. But thats fine. It's not poison

Also, toxins accumulate in fatty tissue. My health visitor remarked once that I wouldn't give a baby milk from a 34 year old cow, and she was right, I wouldn't.

Eh?!

OP so glad the sensible people arrived first! Once the bunfight started I just skim-read.

Obviously it's a good thing to promote BF on a national level, but when it comes to individuals, each choice is no-one's business but the mother's. FF will be fine.

If you could bear to express your colostrum and syringe feed that while it's available (and it might have already passed), that would be epic, but again, not necessary for your child to grow up healthy and happy.

Congratulations on your baby!

I tried and tried with DS1 to the point he and I were both sobbing and in bits, he was starving and I was in agony. No support from XH or midwives.
Towards the end of my pregnancy with DD I broke down in absolute hysterics saying I was terrified and really didn't want to put myself or DD through it. DPs response was to give me a big cuddle, tell me it was my choice and whatever I decided would be right and then go out that night and buy bottles, formula and a steriliser.
If you don't want to/can't continue with breastfeeding then stop, don't put pressure on yourself or allow anyone else to. FF or BF your baby is still loved, cared for and looked after. That's what matters.

starsorwater are you suggesting that older mothers milk is likely to be high in toxins? Should they all be advised to use formula instead? I'm 39, and currently breastfeeding DS2, should I be concerned? What is the long term implication of this?

My health visitor remarked once that I wouldn't give a baby milk from a 34 year old cow, and she was right, I wouldn't.

Your HV sounds like a nut job.

Speaknowords I was told that (when bf aged 34 and finding it very hard going).

So did you swap to formula? What risks am I taking with these toxins?

Your HV compared you to a cow? That's outrageous and you should have got her fired, not quoted her!

HV not a nut job- think she was trying to make me feel less guilty about stopping, which I did, for other reasons. Don't know if she was right, but worth a thought, in amongst all the cuddly mammal stuff! They all go to university and live on pot noodles for 3 years anyway, after all the hard work.