Not wanting to breastfeed

[Cocklodger]

99.9 percent sure I'm going to be causing a bun fight, really hoping that doesn't happen.
My LG is a few days old. I don't want to breastfeed.
I just,don't want to. Its difficult, It feels unpleasant (I have tried) I really don't like it, Its much easier for me to FF and I know FF is almost as good.
When I told my MW I didn't want to I felt forced to try, still don't like it now.
But I've had a couple of (negative) comments already about it, I don't feel like elaborating hugely so just say ''I just don't want to'', soon to be ex h has had massive a strop about it, My sister and mother have commented also.
Is it U for these comments to be made?
Surely its my right to choose how my baby gets fed without judgement.

No one should force you, it's your body & Breadtfeeding isn't just a feeding method it's a relationship & both of you need to want to be in it.
There's zero point doing it if you don't want to cos it'll make you miserable. It can be tough at first & if you don't actually want to it would be awful. I'm a Breastfeeding peer supporter & very pro - helping mums breastfeed if they want, but would never guilt trip or pressurise anyone. It's 100% your body & your choice!

"Minifingerz that's bollocks too. The amount of misinformation on here is astounding.

Colic is just as common in breastfed babies as in formula-fed babies."

The NHS did an infant feeding survey of approximately 8000 women's experience of feeding their babies every 5 years until 2010 when they decided to discontinue doing it to save money.

Those are the findings.

Women who fully formula feed from birth are more likely to report that their babied vomit, have stomach upsets, colic and constipation. The chapter setting this out is on page 115.

In what sense is it 'bollocks'? That I just made it up? I didn't - the link is below.

It says what it says. Make of it what you will.

here
I

I find it odd that people can accept that a baby might be sicky, constipated and unsettled on one formula and not on another, but people expect to see no differences ever between the incidence of these things in babies fed on human milk compared with babies fed on processed animal milk.

Note: breast milk and formula are not the same! They don't contain the same micro nutrients and they aren't digested at the same rate.

Why is it a surprise to people that human milk is generally better tolerated by human babies than formula?

Omg so many judgements. I felt I was hounded by the breastfeeding mafia. I have eczema and asthma and everyone (books, midwives, docs etc) hammered point home. I had mastitis with my daughter twice and lasted eight weeks with this and cracked nipples baby feeding blood and not getting enough milk. With my son the same except mastitis after a few days, cracked nipples and thrush. He didn't get enough and ended up with thrush too. I then got Pnd. Breastfeeding is wonderful if it works, if mum is feeling well and of baby takes to it. I for one was not able to either time, felt like a failure and shouldn't have. Formula helped both my Babies thrive

It's no one else's business.
I didn't breastfeed either of my DCs I was going to with first but for several reasons didn't. I then decided not to bother with ds because I hadn't with DD and wanted to treat them the same. For ds it was even in my notes what brand of formula I wanted and one midwife at a hospital appointment commented that we'll see implying that I would be made to breastfeed.

I tried so hard because I'd been told emphatically that BF was best but despite help and support from numerous health "experts" never produced the volume of milk my DC needed. Felt bad I had to FF and feel no one should tell another woman what to do. Encourage and support her in whatever she feels is best for her and her baby.
If FF is best for you and your DD OP, then go for it.
If you find it hard when asked tell a white lie and say "I wish I'd been able but unfortunately there are medical reasons ..... and I'd rather not talk about it, thank you"
Good luck

I bf both of mine at birth for 2 weeks (premature and wouldnt latch) and 6 weeks (fed every 20mins and i couldnt fill her) i HATED it. It actually made me feel depressed everytime i put them on me, they didnt latch properly, i struggled to get them to feed, i didnt want to leave the house and struggle to bf in public, everytime i had to feed when visitors visited i would be sat in a room on my own (didnt want to get my tits out in from of FIL etc) i couldnt get into a proper routine which made my anxiety bad! Urh i just hated the whole thing and it was EXAUSTING. Im glad i did it for those few weeks and tried but when i went back to work and they were in good bottle feeding and solid feeding routines i was glad they werent bf til the age i had to return to work. Dont feel bad, just tell yourself a good mum has to be a happy one and the BEST for youre child is having a mum thats comfortable and stress free x

Funny I bottle fed 3 and never ever had a constipated baby or one that was ill. That was because I prepared all bottles properly with the corr t amount of powder and kept everything scrupulously clean. Not hard.

The utter shite on here is astounding
Better mother pmsl. I hated with a passion being welded to my 3. They all loved cuddles,sleep and milk. They hated continuous man handling and breast feeding. Totally turned a corner every time we switched to formula. They were happier as was I.

Mini always pushes the SIDS thing but it's tosh. Thankfully numbers are tiny anyway. If you don't co sleep,smoke or do drugs, over heat them and keep them in your room the chances drop dramatically more so. Ditto using a dummy which reduces risk. When I totted everything up my dc's risk from SIDS was beyond minimal.

Formula has been around for generations. There are plenty of elderly members of the population to look at. I'm nearly 50 my mother is in her 70s.

Welcome to the breastapo! I too got sick of this (from family mainly,it was over 30 years ago and the medical profession weren't so geared up in those days to try and force every new mum to breast feed). But I still remember it all these years later. My DM refused to speak to me for a week when I said I was switching to FF after a fortnight of hardly any sleep,and feeding every 1.5 hours. Cheers mum! Just what I needed when I exhausted and hormonal. I agree with what nearly everyone else has said. Your breasts,your baby,your life. You do what you think is best.

Clearly it's your decision but please make it an informed one. Every feed counts. Formula will never compete with breastmilk that contains enzymes for its own digestion, immune cells that change as required, stem cells that actively repair.... And so many things we are yet to discover. Generations of formula feeding have been implicated in the epidemic of allergies and immune issues we are now seeing... Early introduction of nonhuman milk is just a good idea. We are not designed to digest it....
Call me what you like but someone has to advocate for the baby- it's not your future health you are gambling with...

Maybe if everyone had always BF we would all be living to 120.
Or then again maybe not.
We have generations of FF here and our expected lifespan is much higher than many BF nations.
The benefits are small and overstated.

I had such a thoroughly miserable time for the first 2 weeks of my DD's life that I'm still slightly traumatised by it. She didn't seem to feed well despite being 'attached' almost permanently, when she wasn't on me, she was screaming, all day and all night and she lost weight day after day. MW's bullied me mercilessly telling me I had to breastfeed and not to worry about her losing weight, it's probably just the scales. 'She's throwing up blood? Well are your nipples bleeding? Yes? Well what do you expect then!' 'Has your milk come in? Me: "I don't know, how would I know?' 'Oh you'll know!' etc. (I never did 'know' and believe I never produced much milk). Mastitis as well. Just horrible! After 2 weeks I told them to sod off (two of them came from the other side of the room to 'persuade' me to stick at it even though by then she was 15% below her birth weight) and gave her a bottle and it was the best thing I ever did.
BF is great if you want to do it and it works for you but the bullying and guilt that's piled on is so wrong. With my son I BF him for 4 months but it was still a pretty miserable experience and if anything I would say it hindered bonding for me as I hated it so much. Both my two are incredibly healthy. Do what's right for you!

I breast fed for 3 days with my first and it was the worst experience ever. I gave it a go and it wasn't for me. I formula fed my second baby from birth. The Midwife wasn't bothered at all. No one has ever said anything to me about it. My Mum saw how much I hated breast feeding and said just swap to bottles! I've never had any comments (to my face anyway!) from anyone.

It shouldn't concern anyone how you feed your baby. I'm certainly not bothered how anyone feed their baby!

If you really don't like it don't do it. I hated bf. but I did persist. I used to see pink milk coming out the corners of ds1's mouth from my bleeding nipples. I got there in the end. I fed him for 2 years. Even after feeding him for 2 years I still went through all the pain and split nipples with ds2. It makes my toes curl now thinking about it. By the time I fed number 3 i didn't suffer so much.
I would say try a bit longer if you feel you want to. Otherwise do what makes you happy. My mum thought me breastfeeding was terrible for some reason. I think it was that era when I was born. Early 70's a lot of mums didn't feed.

Rubia you are gambling with your child's health and education every time you let them go on screens,don't read to them,let them eat sugar,bacon,chorizo( or any other processed meat) however small the quantities, don't get 5 a day into them,don't get exercise into them daily,don't have family mealtimes......

6 months of breast milk is paltry in comparison.

I believe breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a child and that formula is not as good. But ultimately formula is safe enough for most children in first world countries, so I wouldn't worry too much if you give up.

Midwives should be promoting breastfeeding and formula is a health care product and shouldn't be pushed at all. it should be available on prescription in my eyes, some kids can't live without it, and if it was classed as a medical food replacement it would be better controlled and have less insoluble iron and parasites in.

Greenginger-that's just not true- the first 6 months are critical for future health and development
m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/10524898

I managed to breastfeed both of mine; the first one for over 9 months, the second for just under 6 months. I managed it because I was lucky, that's absolutely the only reason and if it hadn't have worked, I'd have been just as happy giving them formula.

When I was pregnant with DS1 a friend who was a breast-is-the-only-option sort told me that babies who are breastfed never get asthma and eczema, never get ear infections and are brighter than formula-fed children. Fast-forward 11 years and DS1 is now bigger than me, has spent his life suffering with ear problems and suffers with eczema each winter, and DS2 has asthma. Also, they're two of the silliest children in the free world. Frankly I want to smack that woman's legs for convincing me that my children would be immune to certain things if I breastfed. There's no sure-fire guarantee that your child will grow up stronger, healthier, more robust with breastfeeding and anyone labouring under that illusion should cut themselves some slack.

You do what you need to do to survive. If you need to go to formula because it gives you back some time, your body, your sanity, you bloody well do it. If you haven't got it in you to have a baby attached to your body 20 hours a day when they do that batshit cluster-feed thing each time they have a growth-spurt, nobody has the right to judge. You work with the baby you have, not with the ones in books.

I am a bit surprised to see so few posts in support of breastfeeding. Of course, it's your decision and no one else has the right to an opinion unless you are in any way causing harm.

I just wanted to add to the positives though. I love bf, yes the first month was hard (scbu, expressing, feeding tubes, excruciating pain...) but I'm so glad I stuck with it. My third baby is now six months old and I'm still feeding her and her big sister who is two.

One think I will say is that a lot of horror stories can be tracked back to poor advice or not getting the right post natal care. In this country we have no where near the right bf support for women. There's lots of support if you look for it but after a tough night with a newborn, are women more likely to reach for the phone number of a support group or the bottle of formula?

For me there are many reasons I breastfeed. Yes it's good for the baby but also it's free, I have NEVER had to pack a single bottle or formula before I can leave the house, I only sterilise when there's illness in the house, I regularly HAVE to sit down and possibly also have coffee and cake and I get six healthy extras on the slimming world plan.
Do what's best for you but make sure it's an informed decision based on all the facts :)

Can't see anything of note in that link,what am I supposed to be reading?

'Early nutrition is the single biggest influence... '
'Exposure to cow's milk intereferes with gene expression triggering a trajectory of growth, not only for the life of that baby but if she's a girl for her children and grandchildren too'

Lovely post Mrshorsfall it's true, it's lovely to breastfeed once you get past the first 6 weeks. An instant way to smooth over angry toddler tears!

I think breastfeeding is healthier for the baby according to the research, but a happy mum is a million times more important!! Shouldn't bf at the expense of being happy. FF vs BF is one is soooooooo many factors leading to a healthy baby. BF reduces lots of risks (or FF increases them depending on view point), but they are risks applied to general population & you'll struggle to tell how much your child is at risk of any one thing & how much difference BF/FF will make. If you don't want to OP, or anyone else, then don't! Be aware of the research & facts to make an informed choice but be aware that a happy mum is a ver important thing to factor in too

In support of bf the first 6ish weeks are tough but life gets easier as time goes on. It can be a bit time intensive but also a lot easier in some ways - no bottles to prepare, wash, carry around etc. But always a woman's prerogative, except for those who medically can't

I believed breast feeding is a human right. There are lots of things that are tough about having kids but the brain development and other health benefits outweighed any discomfort for me - and I breastfeed them for 2 years. I was surprised moving to England and to learn it's mainly formula feeding here after a short time. We came from Hong Kong where I had to deal with a lot of ridiculous situations with respect to breastfeeding and am an advocate now after the abuse I took for what I feel is a natural right of the baby. So I'd try to see if I can get into a groove for a few more weeks - it's a major deficiency for your child if you don't. Did you know many formulas' first ingredient is corn syrup? Not a great start to life!