Aibu to ask people to share unhelpful things said and done by "friends" when hung through infertility hell

[Hestheoneandonly]

That really. Been suffering secondary infertility for quite some time. Sister suffered primary infertility for many years although happily had a DC this year (yay). But during that time I've been gobsmacked at people's thoughtlessness and insensitivity. Neither of us kept quiet about our struggles so it wasn't ignorance but some of the things I've heard people say or seen them do inc

DS really needs a little brother or sister

At least you can go out without worrying about a babysitter

Having two is so hard (I can guarantee it's not as hard as infertility)

You can always adopt

It's probably for the best at your age (piss off DM)

Just relax and it will happen (do you have a death wish)

Just be grateful and be thankful you have DS (yes it appears you actually do have a death wish)

I just wanted to tell you about the next easily achieved/we weren't really trying pregnancy to your face (just text me, even the most cursory glance at google would tell you this, yes I'm happy for you but would have appreciated time to sob uncontrollably in the privacy of my own home first)

Rocking up to my 40th birthday clearly pregnant having not bothered to prewarn me (thanks -yes you did wreck my night).

At least you have a lovely dog (yes really)

Are we the only ones with insensitive friends?

metro.co.uk/2016/11/16/can-we-just-fing-stop-asking-couples-when-theyre-going-to-have-a-baby-6260332/

^^this

That article is great! Yet another colleague asked me today 'do you want children?' me: (trying to be non committal and shut down the conversation): 'yes some day hopefully' them: 'so are you trying at the moment then?'
How is it ever ok to ask that question, especially in the middle of the office?!! We have been TTC for quite a while and I get pretty sad about it and definitely DO NOT want to be discussing it with my colleagues!

so are you trying at the moment then?'

Errr...no - I'm standing here talking to you while you're asking me personal questions.....

Who on earth asks these questions of anyone other than their most intimate friends? I'm a pretty blunt and direct person....but I just wouldn't dream of it. It's so rude - almost on a par with "How often do you and your husband have sex?"

TammySwanson your third point is exactly how I feel and wish I could get that across to my friends and family. Just because I got pregnant once (and after two and a half years of trying our hearts out) doesn't mean it will ever happen again. Or if it does miraculously happen again, that it will stick the next time.