to not tell DH I have the morning off?

[MopedManiac]

Have accrued some time-in-lieu at work so decided I could do with a morning to myself (finishing bits n pieces, catching up on iPlayer, have a bath, that kind of thing...).

Told colleague I wasn't going to let DH know (he and DC leave for work/school quater hour before I do so they will be none the wiser) - she was horrified that I would lie to DH (her words).

I just know that if he knows it will be a conversation about whether I'm being productive with my time (you could get x, y & z done) or load me up with new tasks.

AIBU? WWYD?

Oh my god. Grab the opportunity with both hands.

SAY NOTHING!!

You're not lying. If he asked if you had the morning off and you said no, that would be lying. Enjoy it.

I caught my DH doing it once btw....one of the funniest moments ever coming back to get something I'd forgotten to see him sitting on the couch in his housecoat. He jumped out the chair

We're all entitled to some down time

Fine as long as you'd be ok with him doing the same thing.

I'd just say oh I have the morning off tomorrow.

Having a morning to yourself isn't really a big deal but it is something I'd mention to DH and he would tell me also.

Surely your DH doesn't care if you have time to yourself

Yanbu

I would not say you where lying but you are being deceitful.

Why can you just say I need this time to myself?

YABU to lie to your husband.
You husband IBU to have any kind of opinion what you should be doing with a morning off.

Don't tell him, I don't think as lies go it's a deal breaker, your work colleague is silly.

I do this all the time. YANBU.

I often book myself a half day to enjoy. The night before I just say I am on half day tomorrow.
DH doesn't care if I take some time to myself and I don't care if he does but we are a couple and it is nice to mention it IMO

Bit worrying that you don't feel you can ever take a morning off for some relaxation - what would your DH say if you told him you were having a relaxing morning in front of the TV?

I need this house we just mention it, why does it need to be a secret? It's not big deal just mention it

Me and dh often book half days, sometimes we have the time together but mostly we book the half day and enjoy being alone.
We just mention it as it's just a half day off so nothing worth causing a fuss over

I'd tell him and then if "a conversation about whether I'm being productive with my time (you could get x, y & z done) or load me up with new tasks" started I'd laugh and say "yeah but no, hats not what my time off is for, you chancer".

And then I'd reallocate all of those items he'd just mentioned onto his "to do" list. Cheeky fucker.

Tell him to get back in his box OP. I hope this isn't how he usually treats you. You're not the hired help, you know.

*that's

Hang on, why would he give you tasks? Is he your employer?

Enjoy your morning.

I'm not a fan of lying I just think it creates a distrust between you. Though I know this is very innocent, I think because he asked you, you have lied to him that's not very nice.

It's not unreasonable not to mention it, but I wouldn't lie about it.

As Sapphire says though, he's not your employer, why would he talk to you about productivity or doing tasks. Are you not allowed to relax in your own home?

I would hate that, I work hard at work and expect my downtime to be free of hassle, I'd tell him to bog off if anyone suggested a morning off should be spent doing something. I think he's confused the roles of manager and husband there.

"I just know that if he knows it will be a conversation about whether I'm being productive with my time (you could get x, y & z done) or load me up with new tasks."

Why the need for deceit? Just tell him that you have the day off and want to spend it relaxing. How would you feel if you found out that he'd taken the day off too, but didn't tell you because he wanted to spend it down the pub/bookies/mate's house, and thought that if he'd have told you then you'd "load him up with new tasks"?

If DH is an arse YANBU...if DH is not an arse why would you mislead him? If you need to lie to DH about this, I'd say you have bigger things to worry about than having a morning off.

I would never, ever lie to DH in this way and am 100% confident DH wouldn't do that to me either. We have an honest and respectful partnership where we encourage each other to be happy.

I would, however, have done exactly what you are planning to do with ExH. ExH was an arse. That is why he is ExH.

Is part of the pleasure feeling that you're getting away with something?

He sounds bossy.

You could do one of 2 this - not tell him, knowing his likely reaction or tell him and say that you will not be doing anything other than the things you a leady have planned so get it up you dh. I'd do the latter.

I think the fact he feels the need to manage your time for you and the fact you'd rather not tell him is a bit odd tbh. It's not about BU, but rather some sort of in Imbalance that shouldn't exist.

If he expects you to "be productive" with any time off, what does he do when he gets any time off?

If he isn't doing useful stuff all the time, then he can GTF with his "productive tasks".

I tell DP if I'm off, and while I might use some time to do stuff, I also make sure that I enjoy some downtime as well.